Could my son be headed for an eating disorder??

[Anonymous]

About a year ago, when DS was 10, he started making comments about how he was getting fat. He grabs his sides and makes comments about love handles, pushes out his stomach and complain his clothes won't fit soon. DS is a SKINNY, very fit, very healthy kid. He is quite athletic and strong to the point that at 12 he already has the start of a six pack and some decent biceps. In the last few days he's downloaded a fitness app and started counting calories (Mom, did you realize I should only have about 1200 calories a day!?). It has me worried!

We do try to be healthy people, don't keep junk food in the house (okay, the occasional pie or bag of chips does sneak in) and are pretty active, but certainly not fitness freaks. My (naturally thin) husband does complain about his love handles sometimes when he puts his bathing suit on, and I (fairly slender) do watch my weight, but weight has never been a big topic of conversation and certainly not something we talk about with DS.

I'm concerned that these comments are coming so young and from my son! Whenever he makes comments I remind him what good shape he's in, what a healthy eater he is, it's not about weight but health, etc., but could this be the start of something worse? Anyone go through this with their son?? Any thoughts on action I should/should not take??

[Anonymous]

Talk to your ped and then have the ped talk to your son about what's appropriate for a growing boy and how calorie counting is not okay.

[Anonymous]

I suspect you focus on weight more than you think you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you focus on weight more than you think you do.

+1. These are very unhealthy comments and definitely come from somewhere.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he already has one. Get to a counselor immediately. (Fwiw my disordered eating started at 8)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you focus on weight more than you think you do.

This. Don't talk about that stuff in front of your
Kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your ped and then have the ped talk to your son about what's appropriate for a growing boy and how calorie counting is not okay.

This.

Also, what TV does he watch/websites does he visit? Kids can be very impressionable and pick up stuff from their friends or TV shows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you focus on weight more than you think you do.

+1. These are very unhealthy comments and definitely come from somewhere.

Agree. OP, just because you're not talking about it WITH your son doesn't mean he's not hearing when you talk about it to each other, or seeing you look sad as you look at the scale, or seeing DH grab his love handles. Kids should not count calories. They should be listening to their body's cues and making healthy choices when hungry.

[Anonymous]

1200 calories a day is disastrous for a kid his age.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if he's picking it up at school. My second grader came home and announced "I don't want to gain too much weight." WTF?

Nutrition is a complicated science, virtually none of it settled. It kills me that teachers are required to be telling kids what to eat -- that is not their job, and they're not qualified to do it.

[Anonymous]

I'm not skinny and wish I were, but I have never once said anything to my kids about not liking my body, not even at the pool. They have no idea.

Your son does, you need to stop all talk about it.

[Anonymous]

"I wonder if he's picking it up at school. My second grader came home and announced "I don't want to gain too much weight." WTF?

Nutrition is a complicated science, virtually none of it settled. It kills me that teachers are required to be telling kids what to eat -- that is not their job, and they're not qualified to do it. "

This is a good point. My daughter goes to a private school where the lunches we pack are closely monitered - nothing considered a 'snack' can be packed, including things like homemade granola bars or cracked wheat crackers (she had them taken away!). She had two lessons in the dangers of obesity before she was 7. We believe in good nutrition, but not at the cost of giving an 8 year old an eating disorder!

[Anonymous]

It could certainly be school. My DD came back from Kindergarten one day and said "look I have a fat belly" and she was as skinny as a stick insect. I was distraught. It was the other girls talking. We got past it but I don't know how deeply it has gone. She is in 3rd now and doesn't seem to have any hang ups about weight (still a healthy, but skinny stick child).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you focus on weight more than you think you do.

+1. These are very unhealthy comments and definitely come from somewhere.

Children learn EVERYTHING, not just what you teach them. DS is picking this up, time for you to revisit your habits, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I wonder if he's picking it up at school. My second grader came home and announced "I don't want to gain too much weight." WTF?

Nutrition is a complicated science, virtually none of it settled. It kills me that teachers are required to be telling kids what to eat -- that is not their job, and they're not qualified to do it. "

This is a good point. My daughter goes to a private school where the lunches we pack are closely monitered - nothing considered a 'snack' can be packed, including things like homemade granola bars or cracked wheat crackers (she had them taken away!). She had two lessons in the dangers of obesity before she was 7. We believe in good nutrition, but not at the cost of giving an 8 year old an eating disorder!

At Madeira, we had monthly weigh-ins that were mandatory.

The girls weren't gonna get fat on Madeira time! Nope.