What does this say about me and my marriage?

[Anonymous]

Been married 25 years, 2 kids one in college one going. I recently took a trip by myself (6 days) and had such an amazing time. I didn't' expect to enjoy it as much as I did. I have always dreamed of going to Europe alone for 2-3 weeks and just going everywhere I want to go, hitting art shows and antique fairs (stuff my H does not enjoy) and really thinking of just doing it. When I told a friend she was shocked and said "why are you married then".

Admittedly it got me thinking......what does that say about me and my marriage? Is it so abnormal to not only do this but WANT to do this?

[Anonymous]

Your friend is a jerk. You're allowed to do things on your own. She may be jealous or codependent and can't handle doing things on her own.

[Anonymous]

Haven't been married as long as you but this is normal for us. We love to travel together, but we also love to do separate things. So some of our vacation time is spent on joint trips, and then some of it we spend doing individual pursuits. For us this actually makes it far easier to get away at all since our kids are young and leaving them with one parent at home means not need for additional childcare.

Personally I don't understand this idea that a good marriage requires doing everything with your spouse. I understand that works for some folks, but that doesn't work for me. And for us, the time apart both serves to recharge us as individuals while giving us a little dose of 'absence makes the heart go fonder' so that we appreciate each other more when we get back.

[Anonymous]

Look, people are different. Some enjoy vacationing without spouses, some don't. Your friend is a bit narrow-minded.

Your marriage doesn't have to work for anyone but you. Enjoy your trip!

[Anonymous]

Of course it's not abnormal. What's abnormal, IMO, is that your don't take regular trips, solo or with girlfriends, more often. In fact, it might even be good for your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friend is a jerk. You're allowed to do things on your own. She may be jealous or codependent and can't handle doing things on her own.

+1. I love my DH and I love traveling alone. Your friend has a limited perspective. Glad you had a great trip!

[Anonymous]

It says you have a strong marriage in which you are both individuals with interests and independence. Your friend on the other hand is a co- dependent who can't get along without her husband. Feel sorry for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it's not abnormal. What's abnormal, IMO, is that your don't take regular trips, solo or with girlfriends, more often. In fact, it might even be good for your marriage.

+1

My marriage would have been much healthier if my ex had given me some alone time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friend is a jerk. You're allowed to do things on your own. She may be jealous or codependent and can't handle doing things on her own.

+1. I love my DH and I love traveling alone. Your friend has a limited perspective. Glad you had a great trip!

Same! Both my husband and I take solo trips, as well as family trips. It's normal to want some "me" time.

[Anonymous]

That you are still your own person after 25 years of marriage. I personally don't like traveling by myself (completely) on vacation even pre-marriage but I could see myself doing a tour group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It says you have a strong marriage in which you are both individuals with interests and independence. Your friend on the other hand is a co- dependent who can't get along without her husband. Feel sorry for her.

+1

--someone who has been married 22 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It says you have a strong marriage in which you are both individuals with interests and independence. Your friend on the other hand is a co- dependent who can't get along without her husband. Feel sorry for her.

This!

[Anonymous]

Your friend is clueless. Glad you enjoyed your trip. You should go again!

[Anonymous]

It is completely normal. Everybody needs some time each year to do things their spouse does not enjoy.

[Anonymous]

That is something my MIL would think or maybe even say. She and FIL are joined at the hip. Never go anywhere without the other, even grocery shopping. Weird, because they almost divorced when DH was a kid.