how much to spend on wedding gift?

[Anonymous]

details that might factor into the decision:

wedding is in the Midwest (small town Michigan) where the couple also lives
groom is childhood friend of my husband's and was a groomsman at our wedding (but my husband is not a groomsman in this wedding)
we have never met the bride
we will be paying $600 or so for flights+hotel room+rental car

I don't know if all those things are relevant or not or if there is just some kind of standard/rule of etiquette for this type of thing...how much would you spend?

[Anonymous]

How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

[Anonymous]

We would give $100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

$2500? That is uncomfortably excessive. I would say $250.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

$2500? That is uncomfortably excessive. I would say $250.

OP asked how much we would spend. I told her what we did in a similar circumstance. I also said it wasn't the norm for everyone and asked other questions. In this situation it was not uncomfortably excessive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

$2500? That is uncomfortably excessive. I would say $250.

OP asked how much we would spend. I told her what we did in a similar circumstance. I also said it wasn't the norm for everyone and asked other questions. In this situation it was not uncomfortably excessive.

I was talking about on the receiving end.

[Anonymous]

$150

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

$2500? That is uncomfortably excessive. I would say $250.

OP asked how much we would spend. I told her what we did in a similar circumstance. I also said it wasn't the norm for everyone and asked other questions. In this situation it was not uncomfortably excessive.

I was talking about on the receiving end.

It wasn't at all, nor was it the largest gift given.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

answer to question of what he got us for our wedding: $50 cash, as best we can recall. I should have included that in the original post, I suppose.

So, part of me immediately thinks we should also get them a $50 gift although as our peer group gets older and more established as adults, it seems that people tend to spend more on wedding gifts than they did 5 years ago when we were married and all our friends were 25-ish.

To the PP who gave $2500, we are not in the same universe in our thoughts on wedding spending. My husband and I spent 10k on our entire wedding, to give you a little perspective. We are from upper middle class families, we just didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount on our wedding. If anyone other than our parents or grandparents had given us a gift that large, I would have been absolutely astounded.

We are comfortable (financially speaking) spending several hundred dollars on a gift but I don't know that I want to spend that much $$ considering the travel costs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

$2500? That is uncomfortably excessive. I would say $250.

OP asked how much we would spend. I told her what we did in a similar circumstance. I also said it wasn't the norm for everyone and asked other questions. In this situation it was not uncomfortably excessive.

I was talking about on the receiving end.

How do you know this about your husband's childhood friend?

It wasn't at all, nor was it the largest gift given.

[Anonymous]

Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would give $100.

That's insanely low. I would be embarrassed to give that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you comfortable spending, OP? How much do you usually spend? How much can you afford? These are the relevant questions.

This.

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

Do they have a registry? Is it a second or more marriage? What did he get you for your wedding?

$2500? That is uncomfortably excessive. I would say $250.

OP asked how much we would spend. I told her what we did in a similar circumstance. I also said it wasn't the norm for everyone and asked other questions. In this situation it was not uncomfortably excessive.

I was talking about on the receiving end.

How do you know this about your husband's childhood friend?

It wasn't at all, nor was it the largest gift given.

Whoops - I messed up the quoting. How do you know this about a childhood friend of your husband?

OP - given your additional info, I would spend $100-150 on a gift from the registry.