how much to spend on wedding gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

answer to question of what he got us for our wedding: $50 cash, as best we can recall. I should have included that in the original post, I suppose.

So, part of me immediately thinks we should also get them a $50 gift although as our peer group gets older and more established as adults, it seems that people tend to spend more on wedding gifts than they did 5 years ago when we were married and all our friends were 25-ish.

To the PP who gave $2500, we are not in the same universe in our thoughts on wedding spending. My husband and I spent 10k on our entire wedding, to give you a little perspective. We are from upper middle class families, we just didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount on our wedding. If anyone other than our parents or grandparents had given us a gift that large, I would have been absolutely astounded.

We are comfortable (financially speaking) spending several hundred dollars on a gift but I don't know that I want to spend that much $$ considering the travel costs, etc.

When was your wedding?
He was ridiculously cheap for your wedding. Did he come alone? How many of you are attending?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

[Anonymous]

$150. He gave $50 for your wedding, but he was a groomsman which is expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

^^ by the way, I meant to say RELEVANT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

answer to question of what he got us for our wedding: $50 cash, as best we can recall. I should have included that in the original post, I suppose.

So, part of me immediately thinks we should also get them a $50 gift although as our peer group gets older and more established as adults, it seems that people tend to spend more on wedding gifts than they did 5 years ago when we were married and all our friends were 25-ish.

To the PP who gave $2500, we are not in the same universe in our thoughts on wedding spending. My husband and I spent 10k on our entire wedding, to give you a little perspective. We are from upper middle class families, we just didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount on our wedding. If anyone other than our parents or grandparents had given us a gift that large, I would have been absolutely astounded.

We are comfortable (financially speaking) spending several hundred dollars on a gift but I don't know that I want to spend that much $$ considering the travel costs, etc.

I'd give at least $500 then and I'd give cash for a wedding, instead of a gift. Unless it is a second marraige.

(I'm the $2500 poster btw - you asked and I answered because I wanted to point out that we needed more information)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

^^ by the way, I meant to say RELEVANT.

I don't think so. If you can afford to go then go. If not then don't. Don't cheap out on a gift because you paid for a mini vacation for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

answer to question of what he got us for our wedding: $50 cash, as best we can recall. I should have included that in the original post, I suppose.

So, part of me immediately thinks we should also get them a $50 gift although as our peer group gets older and more established as adults, it seems that people tend to spend more on wedding gifts than they did 5 years ago when we were married and all our friends were 25-ish.

To the PP who gave $2500, we are not in the same universe in our thoughts on wedding spending. My husband and I spent 10k on our entire wedding, to give you a little perspective. We are from upper middle class families, we just didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount on our wedding. If anyone other than our parents or grandparents had given us a gift that large, I would have been absolutely astounded.

We are comfortable (financially speaking) spending several hundred dollars on a gift but I don't know that I want to spend that much $$ considering the travel costs, etc.

I'd give at least $500 then and I'd give cash for a wedding, instead of a gift. Unless it is a second marraige.

(I'm the $2500 poster btw - you asked and I answered because I wanted to point out that we needed more information)

NP here. I would give $2500 to siblings. I gave my cousin $1000 for wedding and $500 for shower plus $250 for the engagement party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

OP here: travel expenses are not irrelevant to me at all. When we got married (which was in 2010), I didn't even expect gifts from our friends who had to travel and stay at a hotel to get there. Most people still gave gifts, for which we were very grateful but we would have absolutely still been grateful if they hadn't given a gift and had still had to pay $$ just to come. I think travel expenses and how much $$ you have to spend on attire and even more $$ if you are in the wedding party should be a factor in how much you spend on a gift. That's why I included that information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

^^ by the way, I meant to say RELEVANT.

I don't think so. If you can afford to go then go. If not then don't. Don't cheap out on a gift because you paid for a mini vacation for yourself.

wow, entitled much? Disagree, most destination weddings involve destinations I would never go to. OP mentioned that the wedding was in the midwest. That's hardly a mini vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

^^ by the way, I meant to say RELEVANT.

I don't think so. If you can afford to go then go. If not then don't. Don't cheap out on a gift because you paid for a mini vacation for yourself.

going to a small town in Michigan is'nt much of a mini-vacation...the closest major airport is 2 hours away so and there are no non-stop flights...it is quite expensive and inconvenient, hardly something we would plan as a vacation. If it were me, I'd rather have friends and family come to my wedding than give me a nice gift, if they had to make that choice. By the way, I'm not saying I'm going to make that choice. I'm not going to give a cheap gift just because we are paying a lot for travel but I may give a little bit less considering that.

[Anonymous]

wow, I can see that some people have very set ideas about how much you should spend on a wedding gift that are not anything like mine.

i totally think travel expenses factor into the decision of how much to spend on a gift. That's just reality/practicality...if you are attending a wedding in the city where you live (and don't have to pay for plane or hotel or rental car) you might spend more on a gift than if not. It doesn't mean you think any less of the couple. Everyone has a budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your travel expenses are irrelevant to me.
What did he give you for your wedding?

Travel expenses are absolutely irrelevant. People should be grateful that you are spending that much to go their wedding. I believe $100 wedding gift is fine.

^^ by the way, I meant to say RELEVANT.

I don't think so. If you can afford to go then go. If not then don't. Don't cheap out on a gift because you paid for a mini vacation for yourself.

wow, entitled much? Disagree, most destination weddings involve destinations I would never go to. OP mentioned that the wedding was in the midwest. That's hardly a mini vacation.

I've gone on many lovely weekends to the midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We would give $100.

That's insanely low. I would be embarrassed to give that.

It is not insanely low in the midwest, ESPECIALLY considering the travel. I got married 2 years ago in Illinois and $100 was about the average for a couple. Anything over $150 stood out as extremely generous. It was a decently upper middle class guest list.

I agree it would be low on the East Coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We would give $100.

That's insanely low. I would be embarrassed to give that.

It is not insanely low in the midwest, ESPECIALLY considering the travel. I got married 2 years ago in Illinois and $100 was about the average for a couple. Anything over $150 stood out as extremely generous. It was a decently upper middle class guest list.

I agree it would be low on the East Coast.

i totally agree w this. its different in different parts of the country, pps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We would give $100.

That's insanely low. I would be embarrassed to give that.

It is not insanely low in the midwest, ESPECIALLY considering the travel. I got married 2 years ago in Illinois and $100 was about the average for a couple. Anything over $150 stood out as extremely generous. It was a decently upper middle class guest list.

I agree it would be low on the East Coast.

If you are close enough to the couple to attend a far away wedding. You are close enough to give more than I spend on a dinner with DH. $100 is pov.