Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.

I can top that, maybe. When we married, we combined our dishes, so they didn't match. They were similar, just not identical. We just used them together for 12 years although I tended to reach for "mine" first and DH for "his." When MIL came over, she used to rearrange them in the cabinet so that instead of being mixed together they were arranged to match. And she always put the ones from DH on top so I had to remove 6 plates if I wanted to get to mine.

There is no good reason at all this bothered me, and I fully know that, but it did. But obviously I did not say anything because that would have been insane!

Anyway we finally bought all new plates a year ago so no longer have this "issue." But we forgot to tell MIL and then the first time she came over for dinner and saw all the new plates, she was almost speechless with shock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty vent- the way my inlaws do dishes drives me insane. They have a two sided sink. One side is full of hot soapy water and the other has dishes drying inside the sink. I'm trying to clear the table. I scrape food into the trash can, but there's no way to rinse off food or goopy sauces because of all the clean dishes in the sink. We also can't wash hands or do anything else because the person cleaning the dishes is there like a linebacker not letting anyone at the sink. I'm really grossed out by clean spoons, pots, and dishes drying in a sink because I think of sinks as germy places. (At my house I lay them out on a clean towel to dry and then when I'm done I dry them and put them away. Clean dishes don't just hang around). Yeah I'm petty

Okay, I would 100% think you were my husband if I didn't know he doesn't post on DCUM. Because my parents do this and it drives us both absolutely insane. No, I don't want to rinse out a can of cat food in a tiny little sink right next to the large one the clean stuff is drying in and getting splashed on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.

I can top that, maybe. When we married, we combined our dishes, so they didn't match. They were similar, just not identical. We just used them together for 12 years although I tended to reach for "mine" first and DH for "his." When MIL came over, she used to rearrange them in the cabinet so that instead of being mixed together they were arranged to match. And she always put the ones from DH on top so I had to remove 6 plates if I wanted to get to mine.

There is no good reason at all this bothered me, and I fully know that, but it did. But obviously I did not say anything because that would have been insane!

Anyway we finally bought all new plates a year ago so no longer have this "issue." But we forgot to tell MIL and then the first time she came over for dinner and saw all the new plates, she was almost speechless with shock.

I don't get why she would be speechless with shock, or why this would be "sticking it" to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.

+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.

When I gave birth, my mother came to visit from out of state and brought me home cooked food from our country of origin. I was a week postpartum, pumping and nursing, recovering from a c section.
My mother in law (local) came empty handed, seriously, not even a freaking teddy bear for the baby, and ASKED ME TO PACK UP A TO GO PLATE FOR HER OF THE FOOD.
I at first was in such disbelief that I kind of muttered something and tried to walk away. I went into the bedroom to pump and came back out 20 min later with my milk bottles.
She walked up to me again and reiterated that she would really like a to go plate of the food.
I looked at her dead in the face and said, No. That food is for us to not have to cook for the next few days and for the freezer. NO.

You are my hero for standing up to her! Way to go, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.

+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.

When I gave birth, my mother came to visit from out of state and brought me home cooked food from our country of origin. I was a week postpartum, pumping and nursing, recovering from a c section.
My mother in law (local) came empty handed, seriously, not even a freaking teddy bear for the baby, and ASKED ME TO PACK UP A TO GO PLATE FOR HER OF THE FOOD.
I at first was in such disbelief that I kind of muttered something and tried to walk away. I went into the bedroom to pump and came back out 20 min later with my milk bottles.
She walked up to me again and reiterated that she would really like a to go plate of the food.
I looked at her dead in the face and said, No. That food is for us to not have to cook for the next few days and for the freezer. NO.

You are my hero for standing up to her! Way to go, PP.

+1 What was her response to your shutting her down? Did she recognize that she was out of line/apologize?

[Anonymous]

I wanted to be amused by this thread but it pretty much just reminds me how selfish and awful many are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.

+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.

When I gave birth, my mother came to visit from out of state and brought me home cooked food from our country of origin. I was a week postpartum, pumping and nursing, recovering from a c section.
My mother in law (local) came empty handed, seriously, not even a freaking teddy bear for the baby, and ASKED ME TO PACK UP A TO GO PLATE FOR HER OF THE FOOD.
I at first was in such disbelief that I kind of muttered something and tried to walk away. I went into the bedroom to pump and came back out 20 min later with my milk bottles.
She walked up to me again and reiterated that she would really like a to go plate of the food.
I looked at her dead in the face and said, No. That food is for us to not have to cook for the next few days and for the freezer. NO.

You are my hero for standing up to her! Way to go, PP.

+1 What was her response to your shutting her down? Did she recognize that she was out of line/apologize?

Nope, because she was a narcissist. I came home from the hospital with my baby 3 days before thanksgiving and she called my husband to ask what we would be serving to host thanksgiving dinner.
I grabbed the phone and said, why dont you bring over food or call in some take out? Thanks!
She laughed outloud, as if the thought of her thinking of/serving anyone other than herself was preposterous. (Spoiler alert, it was a preposterous thought)
Any semblance of politeness more than civility I had towards her was dead and gone after all of this, and thankfully she was too.
I said what I said.

[Anonymous]

My mom shops almost exclusively at thrift store, Costco and discount stores like TJ Maxx. She picks one thing each year to get all her kids and their spouses. This year it was cozy blankets. Nice thought but mine is 100% acrylic with laundering instructions “spot clean only”. Why is such a blanket even allowed to exist? We all have kids and cats. This is all ending up in a landfill in the next few years. Whyyyyyy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to be amused by this thread but it pretty much just reminds me how selfish and awful many are.

Yes, yes, we all know you never have a petty thought or feeling. Bravo. Now let the rest of us wretched heathens exuberantly complain in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.

+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.

Seriously. As the host I often try to send leftovers home with people, and appreciate if others hosting do the same, but it's a bonus, not an expectation! And it depends on how much is left. I usually try to offload leftover desserts but not main dishes - unless someone brought a dish I don't like, haha, in which case I don't want to deprive them of the leftovers! I have never ever heard of a guest going in to help themselves. Heck, I left my good pie pans at my aunt's house at Thanksgiving because there was pie left and she didn't want to transfer it to another dish. So she got the leftover pie and the pans, and she'll return the pans to me another time. No big deal.

NP my family LOVES leftovers. We're good cooks and really enjoy eating it again the next day. I really don't think we ever throw out food. I had prime rib for Christmas. If a guest had asked for some to go I definitely would have said no. I'd already planned out a nice steak salad and had been thinking about it. We pack up 2 cup amounts of ham and put them in the freezer for soups, quiches, nice slices for sandwiches.

Both sets of our parents won't eat a single leftover so they give us massive amounts of leftovers after each holiday. We aren't crass enough to ask for them though. I'm always saving their tupperware to return them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom shops almost exclusively at thrift store, Costco and discount stores like TJ Maxx. She picks one thing each year to get all her kids and their spouses. This year it was cozy blankets. Nice thought but mine is 100% acrylic with laundering instructions “spot clean only”. Why is such a blanket even allowed to exist? We all have kids and cats. This is all ending up in a landfill in the next few years. Whyyyyyy

Hahaha I am laughing out loud at the "spot clean only" for a cheap blanket and why it should be allowed to exist! Your phrasing cracked me up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.

+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.

When I gave birth, my mother came to visit from out of state and brought me home cooked food from our country of origin. I was a week postpartum, pumping and nursing, recovering from a c section.
My mother in law (local) came empty handed, seriously, not even a freaking teddy bear for the baby, and ASKED ME TO PACK UP A TO GO PLATE FOR HER OF THE FOOD.
I at first was in such disbelief that I kind of muttered something and tried to walk away. I went into the bedroom to pump and came back out 20 min later with my milk bottles.
She walked up to me again and reiterated that she would really like a to go plate of the food.
I looked at her dead in the face and said, No. That food is for us to not have to cook for the next few days and for the freezer. NO.

Bravo! Just want to applaud you PP for standing up to your MIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL asked if she could bring a side dish for Christmas dinner- I said, of course! They come over at 3pm and at 4pm she says “so I’ll need the stand mixer, a 8x8 casserole dish, and I need to use the (SMALL!) kitchen for about 30min and it bakes for an hour”

😳

I was like… oh… well actually I’ll be needing the oven to cook the roast that I’m about to put in, and I’ll need the stand mixer to start making the dessert?

Like who comes over “with a side dish” that needs to be prepped and cooked in my minuscule kitchen when I have a f-ing roast already in the oven??? She lives 20-30min away?!? Why not just bring it and reheat it?!

This reminds me of friends who came for TG one year and offered to bring their beautiful CSA veggies which l accepted. They brought carrots and potatoes, whole. They sat and watched while l peeled, chopped and cooked them. At the same time l was doing my own dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty vent- the way my inlaws do dishes drives me insane. They have a two sided sink. One side is full of hot soapy water and the other has dishes drying inside the sink. I'm trying to clear the table. I scrape food into the trash can, but there's no way to rinse off food or goopy sauces because of all the clean dishes in the sink. We also can't wash hands or do anything else because the person cleaning the dishes is there like a linebacker not letting anyone at the sink. I'm really grossed out by clean spoons, pots, and dishes drying in a sink because I think of sinks as germy places. (At my house I lay them out on a clean towel to dry and then when I'm done I dry them and put them away. Clean dishes don't just hang around). Yeah I'm petty

Mine wash like this and it’s so gross. Thank goodness most stuff goes in the dishwasher!!

[Anonymous]

My ILs live in the same county/township as we do, about 7 miles away. Our locality has had recycling for decades and ILs have a designated recycling bin in their garage. We have a similar setup, although lack a garage.

Every single time ILs visit our house, MIL pitches her cans in our inside trash can or holds out her empty can and asks if we recycle/have recycling here like we like in a foreign land. Or sometimes, just piles her cans and bottles (Diet Coke chain drinker) atop our counter and leaves.