saying "thank you" in India

[Anonymous]

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/06/thank-you-culture-india-america/395069/

"In India, people—especially when they are your elders, relatives, or close friends—tend to feel that by thanking them, you’re violating your intimacy with them and creating formality and distance that shouldn’t exist. They may think that you’re closing off the possibility of relying on each other in the future. Saying dhanyavaad to strangers helps initiate a cycle of exchange and familiarity. But with family and friends, dhanyavaad can instead chill relations because you are already intimate and in a cycle of exchange."

Could any Indians comment -- do you find this article's description to be true? I noticed my Indian MIL almost never says thank you to me.

[Anonymous]

I lived in India and continue to have life long friend there...nope we always said "thank you." There are many cultural differences but this is one I never noticed. Maybe the author's family is more reserved or impolite than others?

[Anonymous]

Yes, this is mostly true. There is no informal word or phrase in most Indian languages that equates to 'thanks'. It's just not really said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is mostly true. There is no informal word or phrase in most Indian languages that equates to 'thanks'. It's just not really said.

dhanyavaad (Hindi)? Shukriyaa (Urdu)?

[Anonymous]

Well Apu always said "Thank you, come again" so that is all the proof I need.


I work with several India people and have been to India several times. I have heard thank you many times.

[Anonymous]

I've always said and received thanks, all my life , in India and here. India is not some exotic, code worded , secret culture. People are more global than you think.

I'm not sure which part of India saying Dhanyavaad is offensive. . I didn't even bother reading the article.

[Anonymous]

We have several Indian teachers at my son's schools and if anything they are extremely polite and its clear they are the ones teaching manners, thank you, etc. to all the kids.

[Anonymous]

Indian here. We always say please and thank you, of course, and I've never noticed that others do not. I will say when we first moved to the US, my mother used to really dislike receiving thank you notes, and actually found them a little offensive at first. She thought they were a very cold and formal way to say thanks, and found it strange to receive them from people she considered close. Growing up, she taught us that the appropriate way to say thank you was very warmly and enthusiastically in person, or by phone.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for asking the question though. When in doubt verify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is mostly true. There is no informal word or phrase in most Indian languages that equates to 'thanks'. It's just not really said.

dhanyavaad (Hindi)? Shukriyaa (Urdu)?

Those are both formal words, not the equivalent of 'thanks'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is mostly true. There is no informal word or phrase in most Indian languages that equates to 'thanks'. It's just not really said.

dhanyavaad (Hindi)? Shukriyaa (Urdu)?

Those are both formal words, not the equivalent of 'thanks'.

I speak English and don't often say the informal "thanks." Just because there is only a formal word doesn't mean it isn't used.

[Anonymous]

Pakistani here - it's a bit more complicated, but I'll try - so, if my mothers uncle (actually seeing him Saturday) gives me $100 (I think he might because it's Ramadan) and I say thank you and good bye, he would feel I'm formal and American and a bit distant.

What he wants is for me to give him a hug, stay longer than expected, tell him how I'm keeping in touch with all the other cousins, and then call him at least every 3 weeks this summer. That, to him, would be thanks.

Likewise, he would never thank me for coming to visit him - he would say - rough translation - "dear, I'm so glad you made the journey to see me; My heart is warmed by seeing your two little ones. May you all be blessed."

[Anonymous]

I was advised in India not to say thank you directly but rather indirectly by saying how nice something was so as not to distance myself. Seems like a concept of showing thanks without directly saying it. Seems more sincere, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in India and continue to have life long friend there...nope we always said "thank you." There are many cultural differences but this is one I never noticed. Maybe the author's family is more reserved or impolite than others?

Hmm...this is the opposite of what I've seen. People say thanks a lot more often now, but in stores, etc. I have never seen a family member thank another one. They just don't do it. It's not impolite. It's impolite to thank people who are doing things out of love. You are looking at things from an American perspective. I have only ever (rarely) heard the very formal thank you or nothing at all. My family gets annoyed with me all the time because I thank them for everything. They are very warm people. I think the Pakistani PP gets it right. My family is from southern India, and I'd agree with what she said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pakistani here - it's a bit more complicated, but I'll try - so, if my mothers uncle (actually seeing him Saturday) gives me $100 (I think he might because it's Ramadan) and I say thank you and good bye, he would feel I'm formal and American and a bit distant.

What he wants is for me to give him a hug, stay longer than expected, tell him how I'm keeping in touch with all the other cousins, and then call him at least every 3 weeks this summer. That, to him, would be thanks.

Likewise, he would never thank me for coming to visit him - he would say - rough translation - "dear, I'm so glad you made the journey to see me; My heart is warmed by seeing your two little ones. May you all be blessed."

These examples were very helpful to me and are much appreciated