Lack of passion do you talk about it ?
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Anonymous
| My husband and I never really kiss, flirt, etc. sex life not too good lately - do we talk about this or does that make it worse? |
Anonymous
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Your H can't read your mind. I would not say "you XYZ" or "you don't XYZ"... basically avoid you statements.
But you can say, I like when we hold hands, I like when we cuddle on the couch, I like to kiss goodbye everyday and kiss when we get home from work... or whatever it is that you like. Also, do you have a "date" every week? |
Anonymous
| We talked about it. Both times it was because of health problems. Talk about it when you're not in bed and there's no chance for sex right that moment. |
Anonymous
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Good communication is vital in ANY relationship you have in your life. Whether that be a romantic one, or a business one...It is very important to feel comfortable communicating w/the one you share your relationship with.
So that being said, by all means, discuss this issue w/your husband & let him know you miss the passion. While it may never go back to that wonderful "honeymoon" -phase of the first time you met, if the love is still felt...Then the passion can re-ignite. It's just that now it may take more effort than it did in the beginning of your courtship. When you discuss this w/your hubby, make it about "us" vs. "him." That way, no hard feelings will exist. Good luck to both of you. |
Anonymous
| Even when my parents were "fighting" they would always kiss each other goodbye and hello. I am in the same habit with my DH. If I pick up in the care, when he gets in the car, I say, "Can I give you a kiss hello?" |
Anonymous
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There is a book called Passionate Marriage.
You could both read it and talk about it. I would talk about it! But keep it positive...not "we don't do XY and Z" but "i really miss XY and Z and want to talk about we can make things hot again." |
Anonymous
OP what I think you meant to say was "I" never kiss flirt etc. with my husband. Another wife blaming her passivity on the husband. Yet I'll bet you think of yourself as a feminist. |
Anonymous
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Talk! Communicate!
How else will it get better? |
Anonymous
?? Confused |
Anonymous
In my marriage... The passion only come from me the DH. My DW never was the first to do anything towards me. Kiss, hug, and etc. when I got tired of being rejected for sex... I stopped and it all stopped. I made a point to talk to her about it and she tried to hug me. But there was nothing in the hug... No warmth... No nothing. It felt like she was hugging a family member that she didn't know or care about. Not someOne that she actually had sex with and multiple kids... It was warm affectionate hung for child #1... Warm affectionate hung for child #2.... The. Awkward lifeless loose embrace for me. I have come to the realization that my DW never had any true pure passion for me. Unfortunately it took me over 20 years to realize this... |
Anonymous
Take your misogyny somewhere else. Also, learn how to read. See the letter "I" in the OP's sentence? The sentence that you quoted? Clue: It's the 4th word in the sentence. See it? Good. Go back to your MRA site now. Ciao. |
Anonymous
Damn. |
Anonymous
Another DH in the same situation, 18 years. There have been little peaks and valleys, we'll talk about it, it often turns into a fight, things get better for a week or two, then go back to zero passion/intimacy for a month or two. She's said that she needs more flirting and contact outside the bedroom, that sex-on-demand doesn't work. So I've made a point of hugging, kissing, holding hands, complimenting, etc- basically different degrees of showing interest, sometimes overt and other times subtle- but usually she's too ticklish for me to give her a back rub and she doesn't want to do more than a tepid hug and peck on the cheek with the kids around. The last time I showed affection was Memorial Day weekend. I made several overtures on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Each one was rebuffed. So its been two weeks since I last showed any affection to her- she has not made any effort either. We haven't had sex in 5 weeks and I don't see that changing any time soon. My marriage is completely unsatisfying and I don't think she has a problem with it at all. |
Anonymous
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I haven't had sex with my spouse in three years.
The only thing keeping me in the marriage is I don't wish to lose daily access to my kids and fear of the financial disaster divorce would be. |
Anonymous
| To those not having sex with spouse: life is too short for forced celibacy. Have an affair. |