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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I never really kiss, flirt, etc.  sex life not too good lately - do we talk about this or does that make it worse? [/quote]

In my marriage... The passion only come from me the DH.  My DW never was the first to do anything towards me.  Kiss, hug, and etc.   when I got tired of being rejected for sex...  I stopped and it all stopped.

I made a point to talk to her about it and she tried to hug me.  But there was nothing in the hug... No warmth... No nothing.  It felt like she was hugging a family member that she didn't know or care about.  Not someOne that she actually had sex with and multiple kids...  It was warm affectionate hung for child #1... Warm affectionate hung for child #2.... The. Awkward lifeless loose embrace for me.

I have come to the realization that my DW never had any true pure passion for me.  Unfortunately it took me over 20 years to realize this... [/quote]

Another DH in the same situation, 18 years.  There have been little peaks and valleys, we'll talk about it, it often turns into a fight, things get better for a week or two, then go back to zero passion/intimacy for a month or two.  She's said that she needs more flirting and contact outside the bedroom, that sex-on-demand doesn't work.  So I've made a point of hugging, kissing, holding hands, complimenting, etc- basically different degrees of showing interest, sometimes overt and other times subtle- but usually she's too ticklish for me to give her a back rub and she doesn't want to do more than a tepid hug and peck on the cheek with the kids around.

The last time I showed affection was Memorial Day weekend.  I made several overtures on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  Each one was rebuffed.  So its been two weeks since I last showed any affection to her- she has not made any effort either.  We haven't had sex in 5 weeks and I don't see that changing any time soon.

My marriage is completely unsatisfying and I don't think she has a problem with it at all.  [/quote]

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