Do you ever have an off night?

[Anonymous]

So last night, I feel bad about what happened.

My bf was away on a trip this weekend with his parents to visit his ailing grandmother.While there, he also had the chance to catch up with his childhood friends and had an emotional but fun weekend. He got back late Sunday night and we got in a tiff about how I felt left out of his weekend activities. After going back and forth, at 1 am we made up and said goodnight on the phone.

Yesterday I went over to his place after the gym. I hadn't seen him in 2 days and I was excited to hug him and kiss him! He walks in in a foul mood and doesn't even acknowledge me beyond a short, "hey" and goes to the kitchen to check where there's a bad smell coming from. Then he goes into his room and changes out of his suit and comes out. We then go out to get groceries for dinner. I'm then pouty all night because he didn't greet me warmly. After dinner he comments about my being pouty and I tell him why. He then says I'm being nitpicking and he is exhausted.

We had such an off night because I was pouty at not being acknowledged warmly and he is upset because he just got home from a long trip and he wanted to relax.

Not at all the romantic reunion I was expecting.

Does this ever happen to you?

[Anonymous]

I'm so glad I'm not a man. Jesus, the over analysis you are doing. I'm exhausted just reading what you wrote.

[Anonymous]

OP, you do sound exhausting. Instead of "being pouty" you could have chosen other, more productive options such as:

-Trying to be the bigger person, and continue to be cheerful/happy (you know, give him a break for not being perfect all the time)
-Quickly told him you were disappointed he didn't seem happy to see you, then MOVE ON

These little things are not worth pouting/being passive aggressive over.

Learn to speak your mind and not get hung up on the little things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I'm not a man. Jesus, the over analysis you are doing. I'm exhausted just reading what you wrote.

Yeah but such lackluster greeting? So many red flags.

[Anonymous]

If you're going to get huffy about not going with him on every weekend event/activity, and then act pouty all Monday evening because he didn't greet you Monday evening with all the warmth and excitement you think you deserve, then maybe the two of you just aren't compatible.

(Also, how long have you two been dating?)

[Anonymous]

Yikes. I think it's time to grow up and then date.

[Anonymous]

umm how about we comment on how the OP is being pouty because he was catching up with childhood friends after visiting his ailing grandmother?

have some compassion OP, and also grow up. his life is not all about you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I'm not a man. Jesus, the over analysis you are doing. I'm exhausted just reading what you wrote.

Yeah but such lackluster greeting? So many red flags.

All te red flags I'm seeing are due to OP's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I'm not a man. Jesus, the over analysis you are doing. I'm exhausted just reading what you wrote.

Yeah but such lackluster greeting? So many red flags.

I think the need for an amazing greeting is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

OP - you come across as needy, co-dependent, and suffocating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you come across as needy, co-dependent, and suffocating.

Am I really that bad? He's my first boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - you come across as needy, co-dependent, and suffocating.

Am I really that bad? He's my first boyfriend.

NP here and yes, the only one who should be seeing a huge red flag is your boyfriend. Let's review.

You're annoyed you were not invited along to stay at his parents. Where the sole purpose was to visit his dying grandmother. You're also annoyed that he got to catch up with old friends during that time. Again, sole purpose was o visit dying relative, not to have fun. I'm sure you acted pouty because of this.

Boyfriend comes back and is tired and emotionally spent. He greets you with a "hey" and not a big hug and kiss like you wanted (not sure why you couldn't have hugged and kissed him). Instead of being a kind and considerate girlfriend and trying to help him through the stress or even asking what's wrong, you pout the whole time.

Yeah, if I was him id be thinking about running for the hills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - you come across as needy, co-dependent, and suffocating.

Am I really that bad? He's my first boyfriend.

NP here and yes, the only one who should be seeing a huge red flag is your boyfriend. Let's review.

You're annoyed you were not invited along to stay at his parents. Where the sole purpose was to visit his dying grandmother. You're also annoyed that he got to catch up with old friends during that time. Again, sole purpose was o visit dying relative, not to have fun. I'm sure you acted pouty because of this.

Boyfriend comes back and is tired and emotionally spent. He greets you with a "hey" and not a big hug and kiss like you wanted (not sure why you couldn't have hugged and kissed him). Instead of being a kind and considerate girlfriend and trying to help him through the stress or even asking what's wrong, you pout the whole time.

Yeah, if I was him id be thinking about running for the hills.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Late 20's guy here (who has had very similar interactions with GFs in the past):

A couple of things I'm not exactly following--

Why did you feel left out of the weekend activities? Did you want to be invited and weren't? Did you not feel like he kept in touch enough over the phone?

I'd say there is a strong chance that his lackluster greeting revolved around your initial tiff. He was probably saying to himself "GF knew I had an exhausting, emotional weekend at home...why is she choosing to make this about herself?" Even though you "made up", it probably festered until the next time he saw you, and his greeting was his way of letting you know (albeit, passive aggressively) that he was upset or disappointed about what happened the other night.

The relationship is a two way street, and actions have reactions. It's not fair to him to expect him to be sunshine and smiles all the time, based on your whims. The better plan would have been to express how excited you were to hug and kiss him when you spoke to him after his exhausting weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - you come across as needy, co-dependent, and suffocating.

Am I really that bad? He's my first boyfriend.

Yes. You are clingy and passive aggressive. He is allowed to have a life. Who wants to engineer an exuberant greeting after getting home from work on Monday and then deal with pouting afterward? Are you the one who was mad your boyfriend didn't book you a groupon getaway for Memorial Day?