vent (and current pregnancy mentioned)

[Anonymous]

I am 10 weeks pregnant after a successful IVF #4. I am so nervous. I can't discuss the pregnancy, I won't talk about names or think about what stuff to buy. I basically am too fearful to be happy at this point. I mean, I am excited, but I am not allowing myself to feel anything yet because I am so nervous and anxious about a possible loss. I want so desperately to be those happy people, like my friends who announced to EVERYONE at 6 weeks when they found out they are pregnant.

anyways, just venting. thanks.

(please dont mention your pregnancy loss here. I just cant handle to hear anymore negative outcomes after going through an ectopic and miscarriage myself).

[Anonymous]

I think nobody is responding because we don't want to mention our losses and upset you. But a LOT of us have felt exactly what you're feeling. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

After years of infertility I also got pregnant via ivf. I was also so scared during my pregnancy and I think it's totally normal because of what you have been through. It does get better with each stage. The end of the first tri brings huge relief as does the results of whatever prenatal testing you are having. I know it's hard but hang in there. Infertility changed me in so many ways. It's such a major life thing that most people can never understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After years of infertility I also got pregnant via ivf. I was also so scared during my pregnancy and I think it's totally normal because of what you have been through. It does get better with each stage. The end of the first tri brings huge relief as does the results of whatever prenatal testing you are having. I know it's hard but hang in there. Infertility changed me in so many ways. It's such a major life thing that most people can never understand.

can I ask when you felt comfortable enough to tell people? I know 12 weeks is generally that point for normal people. Although, as I mentioned, my cousin and friend told everyone at 6 weeks. We've told our parents at 8 weeks. I want to tell my brother and SOL but am too scared still.

I can't wait to get through the first trimester just so i can (hopefully) feel some relief.

thanks

[Anonymous]

I have dealt with this too and would never tell anyone before 14 weeks or so at the very earliest. But everyone is different. I feel you OP because I'm pregnant as well and feel I can't get excited yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After years of infertility I also got pregnant via ivf. I was also so scared during my pregnancy and I think it's totally normal because of what you have been through. It does get better with each stage. The end of the first tri brings huge relief as does the results of whatever prenatal testing you are having. I know it's hard but hang in there. Infertility changed me in so many ways. It's such a major life thing that most people can never understand.

can I ask when you felt comfortable enough to tell people? I know 12 weeks is generally that point for normal people. Although, as I mentioned, my cousin and friend told everyone at 6 weeks. We've told our parents at 8 weeks. I want to tell my brother and SOL but am too scared still.

I can't wait to get through the first trimester just so i can (hopefully) feel some relief.

thanks

We told my parents right away because they knew about the IVF (nobody else knew). I had to tell my boss earlier than I wanted because I had a bleeding scare and stayed home from work for a number of days. That was around 10 weeks. At my 13 week appointment after the NT scan my OB said there was less than a 1 percent chance of miscarriage. This made us comfortable enough to start telling people. DH's parents first then siblings, etc. I wasn't in a rush so after immediate family it took a while for me to tell others. I hope you are able to enjoy everything soon. I can tell you that when I had the bleeding scare I was SO glad that nobody but my parents knew.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP! I know how you feel! I told my sister and parents early on, but no one else. My sister wanted to announce it all over facebook but I waited till 5 months almost before i said anything. It's hard to believe after so many difficulties. Congrats and good luck!

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to say I totally understand. I waited until 20 weeks before telling most people.

[Anonymous]

Totally felt the same way, OP. I didn't tell people (except my mom who new about the IVF and some early scares) until I was showing. Hang in there. And, of course, Congrats!! Wishing you a healthy and happy 9mos (or 7 more mos I guess!)

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel, similar history, currently pregnant. I told family at 13 weeks, and after 16 more because people started to notice. Now it's sort of when I see them. I still can't bring myself to make a broad announcement or even go out of my way to tell someone who doesn't already know.

[Anonymous]

I waited until like 5 months to tell people as well. All ended well ! So, there are tons of happy stories where an actual live, healthy baby is born and you're likely going to be one of them! You'll feel more confident as the weeks go by and ultrasounds all look good.

[Anonymous]

I really didnt breath/relax/plan/get excited till about 25-26 weeks. (realistic age of viability)

[Anonymous]

I was like you. I didn't want to jinx anything by buying things in advance. Plus, if we had a loss I didnt want to deal with the baby stuff. We bought the crib at the last minute and all of her clothes the first two weeks were either gifts or from the hospital. The only thing we did early was put her on waiting lists for daycares. I try not to let infertility influence my parenting and actively try not to be overprotective and let her take risks.

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty normal.

I think you should have posted in the "expectant mothers" forum.

[Anonymous]

I felt the same way. Didn't tell anyone outside of immediate family until we got good NT exam results back. Didn't buy anything baby related until after 27 weeks. Didn't do anything with the nursery until 30w. Didn't say a word on Facebook until I had the baby. I think your reaction is very common after a long struggle. Hugs.