Teen wants to attend church

[Anonymous]

My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

[Anonymous]

Why Lutheran? I'm an atheist, and the only church I'd consider taking my child to (unless they had a specific request, which I would be open to) is UU. Are there any near you?

That aside, I don't think you need to worry too much. No one is going to ask about if you're saved or not

[Anonymous]

Do it! Our youth group is huge and the religious material is minimal. it's been a wonderful addition to our children's lives and has provided some grounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

Really, really well stated!

We are also all sinners struggling to follow God's path for us.

[Anonymous]

I'm agnostic and go to church every week. It's important to my husband, I like the pastor, and the missional outreach the congregation does. No one has ever asked me if I believe in God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm agnostic and go to church every week. It's important to my husband, I like the pastor, and the missional outreach the congregation does. No one has ever asked me if I believe in God.

+1

You may have issues if you want to go to a place like McLean Bible, but I attend a very liberal Episcopalian church. I also realize that I have pledged to keep my mouth shut and nod appropriately because I have joined a community of believers. But in that kind of environment they don't really get up in your face about Jesus-this, Jesus-that and get asked about your personal relationship with God unless you specifically want to talk to the pastor about that.

[Anonymous]

Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

[Anonymous]

My 17yo loves the youth group at our ELCA Lutheran church. He has strong relationships there, and a great support system. I love that school is not his only, or even primary social scene, and I love knowing his friends' parents/families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

that's assuming that faith is the norm and that not having faith is something to fight and overcome, in order to return to the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

That's right, many mainline churches -- Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, could care less if you believe in God. These churches are losing members in droves and are happy to have new members. They do teach their beliefs to children though, so your kid might learn some things as truth that you don't believe yourself. You should be prepared for your child to learn things for which there is no evidence, but that the church believes as a matter of faith. The mainline churches don't push very hard though.

An earlier pp was right that a UU church seems like a better fit. It offers the same strong community but without a set of beliefs that relies on faith, not facts. It seems like the UU would be a much more natural choice for an unchurched child of an agnostic.

[Anonymous]

Let me posit this question: do we have to know the answer before we act?

Or can we act, participate, join a community, without knowing beforehand or with total certainty, what it is all about.

Church, it's a good community. People who go are trying to raise their game. You could do a lot worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

Many Episcopalians don't mind, and even enjoy, the liturgical language and the god and Jesus centered hymns even though they have no religious belief themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

That's right, many mainline churches -- Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, could care less if you believe in God. These churches are losing members in droves and are happy to have new members. They do teach their beliefs to children though, so your kid might learn some things as truth that you don't believe yourself. You should be prepared for your child to learn things for which there is no evidence, but that the church believes as a matter of faith. The mainline churches don't push very hard though.

An earlier pp was right that a UU church seems like a better fit. It offers the same strong community but without a set of beliefs that relies on faith, not facts. It seems like the UU would be a much more natural choice for an unchurched child of an agnostic.

First of all, I think you mean could NOT care less, but second and more important, that is an absolutely incorrect statement. For each of the mainline Protestant churches that you mention, to become a member, you must make a statement of faith in Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. You must announce that you turn from sin and accept Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous]

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

that's assuming that faith is the norm and that not having faith is something to fight and overcome, in order to return to the norm

Which is sort of true in a church.