Teen wants to attend church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

That's right, many mainline churches -- Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, could care less if you believe in God. These churches are losing members in droves and are happy to have new members. They do teach their beliefs to children though, so your kid might learn some things as truth that you don't believe yourself. You should be prepared for your child to learn things for which there is no evidence, but that the church believes as a matter of faith. The mainline churches don't push very hard though.

An earlier pp was right that a UU church seems like a better fit. It offers the same strong community but without a set of beliefs that relies on faith, not facts. It seems like the UU would be a much more natural choice for an unchurched child of an agnostic.

First of all, I think you mean could NOT care less, but second and more important, that is an absolutely incorrect statement. For each of the mainline Protestant churches that you mention, to become a member, you must make a statement of faith in Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. You must announce that you turn from sin and accept Jesus Christ.

But a lot of them just consider that a formality --sort of an old custom. It's not stressed that you actually have to literally believe it.

Also, some churches recite the creed every sunday - that also reiterates those beliefs. But some people just mumble through it and other don't say it at all -- they just stand with the others as they say it, showing support for the group, not those specific beliefs. As someone stated earlier, doubt is a part of faith and churches are not going to reject someone just because they don't believe the basic tenets of the faith. For most of these churches, it's enough to be a good person, an active community member, a pledge-paying member and accepting that not everyone believes the same thing in the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

That's right, many mainline churches -- Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, could care less if you believe in God. These churches are losing members in droves and are happy to have new members. They do teach their beliefs to children though, so your kid might learn some things as truth that you don't believe yourself. You should be prepared for your child to learn things for which there is no evidence, but that the church believes as a matter of faith. The mainline churches don't push very hard though.

An earlier pp was right that a UU church seems like a better fit. It offers the same strong community but without a set of beliefs that relies on faith, not facts. It seems like the UU would be a much more natural choice for an unchurched child of an agnostic.

First of all, I think you mean could NOT care less, but second and more important, that is an absolutely incorrect statement. For each of the mainline Protestant churches that you mention, to become a member, you must make a statement of faith in Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. You must announce that you turn from sin and accept Jesus Christ.

But a lot of them just consider that a formality --sort of an old custom. It's not stressed that you actually have to literally believe it.

Also, some churches recite the creed every sunday - that also reiterates those beliefs. But some people just mumble through it and other don't say it at all -- they just stand with the others as they say it, showing support for the group, not those specific beliefs. As someone stated earlier, doubt is a part of faith and churches are not going to reject someone just because they don't believe the basic tenets of the faith. For most of these churches, it's enough to be a good person, an active community member, a pledge-paying member and accepting that not everyone believes the same thing in the same way.

Well, you know, you can lie to courts or FBI too, if you want to. You can lie when you make your wedding vows. That says more about the kind of person you are, PP, than the church or other institutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

That's right, many mainline churches -- Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, could care less if you believe in God. These churches are losing members in droves and are happy to have new members. They do teach their beliefs to children though, so your kid might learn some things as truth that you don't believe yourself. You should be prepared for your child to learn things for which there is no evidence, but that the church believes as a matter of faith. The mainline churches don't push very hard though.

An earlier pp was right that a UU church seems like a better fit. It offers the same strong community but without a set of beliefs that relies on faith, not facts. It seems like the UU would be a much more natural choice for an unchurched child of an agnostic.

First of all, I think you mean could NOT care less, but second and more important, that is an absolutely incorrect statement. For each of the mainline Protestant churches that you mention, to become a member, you must make a statement of faith in Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. You must announce that you turn from sin and accept Jesus Christ.

But a lot of them just consider that a formality --sort of an old custom. It's not stressed that you actually have to literally believe it.

Also, some churches recite the creed every sunday - that also reiterates those beliefs. But some people just mumble through it and other don't say it at all -- they just stand with the others as they say it, showing support for the group, not those specific beliefs. As someone stated earlier, doubt is a part of faith and churches are not going to reject someone just because they don't believe the basic tenets of the faith. For most of these churches, it's enough to be a good person, an active community member, a pledge-paying member and accepting that not everyone believes the same thing in the same way.

Well, you know, you can lie to courts or FBI too, if you want to. You can lie when you make your wedding vows. That says more about the kind of person you are, PP, than the church or other institutions.

But some of the churches themselves encourage it -- and I don't mean lying -- but simply interpreting words differently. For instance "resurrecting from the dead" needn't mean resuscitation of a corpse, but instead living on in the hearts of humans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google 'cultural christians'. There are a lot of folks who enjoy the community of a church but don't feel strongly (if at all) about religion. You'd be welcome and fit in at my Episcopal Church.

That's right, many mainline churches -- Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, could care less if you believe in God. These churches are losing members in droves and are happy to have new members. They do teach their beliefs to children though, so your kid might learn some things as truth that you don't believe yourself. You should be prepared for your child to learn things for which there is no evidence, but that the church believes as a matter of faith. The mainline churches don't push very hard though.

An earlier pp was right that a UU church seems like a better fit. It offers the same strong community but without a set of beliefs that relies on faith, not facts. It seems like the UU would be a much more natural choice for an unchurched child of an agnostic.

First of all, I think you mean could NOT care less, but second and more important, that is an absolutely incorrect statement. For each of the mainline Protestant churches that you mention, to become a member, you must make a statement of faith in Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. You must announce that you turn from sin and accept Jesus Christ.

But a lot of them just consider that a formality --sort of an old custom. It's not stressed that you actually have to literally believe it.

Also, some churches recite the creed every sunday - that also reiterates those beliefs. But some people just mumble through it and other don't say it at all -- they just stand with the others as they say it, showing support for the group, not those specific beliefs. As someone stated earlier, doubt is a part of faith and churches are not going to reject someone just because they don't believe the basic tenets of the faith. For most of these churches, it's enough to be a good person, an active community member, a pledge-paying member and accepting that not everyone believes the same thing in the same way.

Well, you know, you can lie to courts or FBI too, if you want to. You can lie when you make your wedding vows. That says more about the kind of person you are, PP, than the church or other institutions.

But some of the churches themselves encourage it -- and I don't mean lying -- but simply interpreting words differently. For instance "resurrecting from the dead" needn't mean resuscitation of a corpse, but instead living on in the hearts of humans.

Unfortunately, that is true, but it is not Christian doctrine. It is an off-shoot that has been around as long as Christ Himself that was originally called gnostic. It is a very good point that any church seeker needs to be aware of this, because it is now, as it was then, a corruption of the truth. A very important, central part of Christianity is that Christ literally rose from the dead, in body. It's not some mystic being. It is the body itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

Great response! I couldn't agree more!! Find a welcoming church your son likes. I would encourage it and its true, we all have doubts!! Even "believers"

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all of the feedback! We went today, and while nice, didn't seem to be the fit we were looking for. My two dc and I discussed the service, and what we liked and didn't so much, and we decided to try a few more out before making any decision on one.

My other child, who was resistent to going, actually told me of her interest in one of the volunteering activities they offer. Then we had a nice lunch, great family time today! I'm looking forward to finding a place where we feel like part of the community. We've had a rough year or so, having gone through divorce, but feel like our family unit is strong and growing daily.

Any suggestions for liberal leaning churches in Fairfax area? Next on our list is Vienna uu...but would like to try a few others too. Not sure I understand uu, but I'm sure will learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the feedback! We went today, and while nice, didn't seem to be the fit we were looking for. My two dc and I discussed the service, and what we liked and didn't so much, and we decided to try a few more out before making any decision on one.

My other child, who was resistent to going, actually told me of her interest in one of the volunteering activities they offer. Then we had a nice lunch, great family time today! I'm looking forward to finding a place where we feel like part of the community. We've had a rough year or so, having gone through divorce, but feel like our family unit is strong and growing daily.

Any suggestions for liberal leaning churches in Fairfax area? Next on our list is Vienna uu...but would like to try a few others too. Not sure I understand uu, but I'm sure will learn.

Past PP here. OP, one more thing! I wouldn't judge any church based on a one-time attendance. You never know if you had a Sunday that was typical or unusual in some way. Particularly going into the summer months, schedules are different, people are away, usual preachers/ teachers may not be in place, etc. You will have to go more than once to truly eliminate a church or discern if it is really what you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

I agree! Music ministries are always missing or reduced over the summer months too.

Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree! Music ministries are always missing or reduced over the summer months too.

Good luck OP!

I agree --however, you can pick up if the general tone of the church is off. For instance if the reading material of the church dwells on the love of Jesus and Jesus' great sacrifice for us, blah, blah, and you're not that Christian, then you might want to cross that church off your list. You can also tell some of this from the Church website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree! Music ministries are always missing or reduced over the summer months too.

Good luck OP!

I agree --however, you can pick up if the general tone of the church is off. For instance if the reading material of the church dwells on the love of Jesus and Jesus' great sacrifice for us, blah, blah, and you're not that Christian, then you might want to cross that church off your list. You can also tell some of this from the Church website.

Yeah. Who would want to be reminded about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

Great response! I couldn't agree more!! Find a welcoming church your son likes. I would encourage it and its true, we all have doubts!! Even "believers"

Not everyone has religious doubts. Some people who have left supernatural-based religion have no doubts that they did the right thing. It can get hard trying to believe things that don't make sense and for which there is no evidence. It can be a great relief to stop trying to believe those things. Of course, it also means giving up the idea of eternal life or having a special powerful friend who's always looking out for you, but those were imaginary anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

Great response! I couldn't agree more!! Find a welcoming church your son likes. I would encourage it and its true, we all have doubts!! Even "believers"

Not everyone has religious doubts. Some people who have left supernatural-based religion have no doubts that they did the right thing. It can get hard trying to believe things that don't make sense and for which there is no evidence. It can be a great relief to stop trying to believe those things. Of course, it also means giving up the idea of eternal life or having a special powerful friend who's always looking out for you, but those were imaginary anyway.

Oh, here we go. As if on cue, the DCUM Resident Atheist chimes in again, telling us all how superior and enlightened s/he, compared to people with religious faith. For someone who is not a believer, PP, you sure do spend a lot of time in the Religion Form. I can only conclude that just because you claim to have given up on God, clearly the Holy Spirit has not given up on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

Great response! I couldn't agree more!! Find a welcoming church your son likes. I would encourage it and its true, we all have doubts!! Even "believers"

Not everyone has religious doubts. Some people who have left supernatural-based religion have no doubts that they did the right thing. It can get hard trying to believe things that don't make sense and for which there is no evidence. It can be a great relief to stop trying to believe those things. Of course, it also means giving up the idea of eternal life or having a special powerful friend who's always looking out for you, but those were imaginary anyway.

Oh, here we go. As if on cue, the DCUM Resident Atheist chimes in again, telling us all how superior and enlightened s/he, compared to people with religious faith. For someone who is not a believer, PP, you sure do spend a lot of time in the Religion Form. I can only conclude that just because you claim to have given up on God, clearly the Holy Spirit has not given up on you.

There are several atheists here. Above was a simple explanation of how some people avoid religious doubt by not trying to make themselves believe things that seem unbelievable. There's nothing superior or enlightened about it. It's very simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group. I'm agnostic and hadn't been taking the kids to church but we used to go when they were younger, and we attend when visiting grandparents.

I actually like attending church, the mission work they do, and think it's an overall positive place for families. Problem is, I feel like I'm out of place because I'm not a believer.

I told my teen we'd go tomorrow and found a Lutheran church nearby that looks like a good fit. Do others feel this way? What's your advice? Ps, if it matters I'm a single parent...dad lives far away and not very involved.

OP, please go. I think you will be surprised at how welcome you feel. The church is nothing more than a group of people who struggle every day with their faith. There is nothing wrong with this -- doubt (or even "disbelief") is not the opposite of faith. It's part of it.

If your teen wants to go, it says to me that s/he is looking for a community. As I'm sure you know, there are far, far worse communities of kids that your child could be involved with. This is a very positive thing and if I were in your shoes, I would fully support.

Great response! I couldn't agree more!! Find a welcoming church your son likes. I would encourage it and its true, we all have doubts!! Even "believers"

Not everyone has religious doubts. Some people who have left supernatural-based religion have no doubts that they did the right thing. It can get hard trying to believe things that don't make sense and for which there is no evidence. It can be a great relief to stop trying to believe those things. Of course, it also means giving up the idea of eternal life or having a special powerful friend who's always looking out for you, but those were imaginary anyway.

Oh, here we go. As if on cue, the DCUM Resident Atheist chimes in again, telling us all how superior and enlightened s/he, compared to people with religious faith. For someone who is not a believer, PP, you sure do spend a lot of time in the Religion Form. I can only conclude that just because you claim to have given up on God, clearly the Holy Spirit has not given up on you.

There are several atheists here. Above was a simple explanation of how some people avoid religious doubt by not trying to make themselves believe things that seem unbelievable. There's nothing superior or enlightened about it. It's very simple.

The apparent need for "several" atheists (not convinced that is true) to constantly participate in discussions on the religion forum, and chime in with basically the same comment over and over, no matter the topic at hand, stems from a feeling of personal superiority. You're right, that is very simple to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen wants to attend church and join the youth group.

Just a note that many churches are much less active in the summer, and that might mean now--our regular Sunday school is already done for the summer (and has been for a few weeks). By all means visit churches now, but I'd think very seriously about making a "final" decision about what church to attend once school gets back in session for the fall. Your kids should be able to get a much better sense of what the youth group is like at that point.