How hard is it to have a 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are leaning heavily toward trying for #3 (and would start trying soon). Our existing children are two girls, ages 3 and 1. We are both 37, and would be at least 38 when baby #3 would arrive.

Are we crazy???

We are having a lot of fun with the existing two, but it's a lot of work. Don't really care about having a boy vs. a 3rd girl. I have to admit the potential of twins scares the heck out of me.

Anyway -- would love to hear from those who have 3 kids fairly close in age and how the transition to a 3rd baby went. And any other advice or thoughts. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

the rule is have them all before 40. You should be ok.

[Anonymous]

I have three. Not that hard. I wonder how hard it is to have four.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three. Not that hard. I wonder how hard it is to have four.

Yeees! Same here But seriously, I need to stop...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the rule is have them all before 40. You should be ok.

Is that the rule? Because I managed to have two well before 40 and they still wiped my ass out.

I think the rule is how you feel with two on a day-to-day basis and whether you can logistically, emotionally, and financially handle 3. Oh, and how's your marriage and what does your DH think.

But you could just go with the before 40 rule too.

[Anonymous]

Sahd here. Three is really hard! What are you talking about?

But I'm glad we did it.

and I'm glad I'm getting the snip soon.

[Anonymous]

How does having 3 compare to having 2?

Having 2 has not been as much of a shock to the system as having 1 (but make no mistake, it's not easy!). I feel like if we it's not that much more difficult, I'd love to have 3. But could 3 be the straw that broke the camel's back?

[Anonymous]

3 was the straw that broke my back, maybe my marriage. The youngest is 4 and I'm maybe crawling out of the hole (knock on wood). One issue is that, with your older kids being so young, you don't really yet know how "challenging" they will be. A lot of special needs don't show up until ages 4 through 8--to deal with that in addition to a baby is really hard.
Second, logistically 3 kids is difficult. You'll need a minivan. It's often hard to find a house that comfortably fits 3 kids. Travelling is a huge pain and the third kid basically do Ike's your expenses (you need to rent a minivan instead of a sedan; need to get a second hotel room because most rooms won't accommodate 5 within the fire code restrictions; the per person vacations are also priced out for families of 4 or smaller so when you go to 5, you need to get a second package but then you're paying for two solo adult passengers, plus most of the web search features are worthless when searching for accommodations for five). Also scheduling weekends can be a bear, as there's a chance they will all end up with parties/games/naps at the same time and you need to figure out how 2 of you are going to cover 3 things.
So, not to be a downer, but those are all things to think about if you are on the fence.

[Anonymous]

Theoretically you'd only need to have sexual intercourse once... If you conceive triplets :

[Anonymous]

I love having 3 kids but that first year with #3 was a doozy. I pretty much had two toddlers and an infant and kids are such needy little beasts. Once they were all potty trained and self-feeding, they're actually a lot of fun to be with every day. If I were 5 years younger I'd have a fourth.

[Anonymous]

It gets crazy once they are all school aged and doing activities, etc. (even if you don't over schedule).
Three kids makes for a very busy life once you are running around with their sports, friends, school performances, etc.
It can get crazy.

I found the early years with 3 to be easy. At that point you're just keeping them all warm, fed, rested, etc. If you're taking care of 1 young kid you might as well be taking care of 3. Lather, rinse and repeat. It's when they get older that 3 get challenging.

[Anonymous]

For us the hardest transition was 0 to 1 then 2 to 3. We found going from 1 to 2 pretty easy. I think we felt like we really had our stuff together with two kids and the third threw us for a loop. He's an easy baby/tot but there's just so much more to keep track of logistically. This may be because our other two are a bit older than yours would be or because we both work (not sure what your work status is). We of course love him and the kids are amazing with him. But hitting the reset button was tougher than I thought it would be. I'll be glad when he's a bit older and hopefully then we'll be plugging along (fairly) smoothly again. But I know the feeling of wanting another. We debated it for quite some time--and couldn't let it go. Now we know we are done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 was the straw that broke my back, maybe my marriage. The youngest is 4 and I'm maybe crawling out of the hole (knock on wood). One issue is that, with your older kids being so young, you don't really yet know how "challenging" they will be. A lot of special needs don't show up until ages 4 through 8--to deal with that in addition to a baby is really hard.
Second, logistically 3 kids is difficult. You'll need a minivan. It's often hard to find a house that comfortably fits 3 kids. Travelling is a huge pain and the third kid basically do Ike's your expenses (you need to rent a minivan instead of a sedan; need to get a second hotel room because most rooms won't accommodate 5 within the fire code restrictions; the per person vacations are also priced out for families of 4 or smaller so when you go to 5, you need to get a second package but then you're paying for two solo adult passengers, plus most of the web search features are worthless when searching for accommodations for five). Also scheduling weekends can be a bear, as there's a chance they will all end up with parties/games/naps at the same time and you need to figure out how 2 of you are going to cover 3 things.
So, not to be a downer, but those are all things to think about if you are on the fence.

+1 to all this.

[Anonymous]

I must be in the minority here but I think 2 to 3 was the easiest transition. Mine are 5, 3 and 1. As one poster said, it's basically wash, rinse and repeat. I've truly enjoyed my 3rd and find her to be the easiest one of the bunch. I was a SAHM when I had her but went back to work when she turned 1 (with a demanding job no less).

[Anonymous]

Going from 1 to 2 was way harder than 2 to 3.