How hard is it to have a 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three. Not that hard. I wonder how hard it is to have four.

Yeees! Same here But seriously, I need to stop...

I have four, its awesome and seriously the hardest transition was from one to two.

+1. And I had the last two at almost 41 and 42, "no later than 40" person. We do spend money to make it easier (nanny, housekeeper, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks like a disaster of epic proportions from the outside. I have several friends with 3 kids. I know they love their kids and profess to be happy, but it looks like a lot more yuck than yay.

I agree with this. I find every family I know with three children VERY stressful from an outside perspective. Exhausting (and I'll admit here, not to them) often embarrassing in public. No fault of the parents but you just can't be in control when you are outnumbered. I know people will take offense to this but I really do not know a single family with three where this is not the case.

I know one family with 3 who isn't like this but they are Swedish and I swear their kids are robots. These are the kids who sit quietly and eat shit like salmon and beetroot with zero complaints.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks like a disaster of epic proportions from the outside. I have several friends with 3 kids. I know they love their kids and profess to be happy, but it looks like a lot more yuck than yay.

I agree with this. I find every family I know with three children VERY stressful from an outside perspective. Exhausting (and I'll admit here, not to them) often embarrassing in public. No fault of the parents but you just can't be in control when you are outnumbered. I know people will take offense to this but I really do not know a single family with three where this is not the case.

Interesting thing to think about. I know three families with three kids. I would say in one case, the children are hellions and totally out of control. In the other two cases, nice enough kids but fairly unsupervised, which I personally do not think is necessarily a bad thing. BUT, I will say lots of neighborhood and friend clucking and judging over this. And I have first hand seen the youngest kids in these families in what are objectively not ideal safety situations. At the same time, a generation ago it would not have been remarked upon. Which gets to what a lot of people are saying...the expectations are different now and if you tend to parent toward the helicopter end of the spectrum (which sadly is more the norm these days), I don't see how 3-4 kids wouldn't just about kill you.

[Anonymous]

OK, I have four, and they are very young (oldest is five). We went out to dinner at a Mexican place last night, and everyone sat nicely, ate his/her dinner, kept his/her hands to himself ...

We have this down to a science now. We know to go early, what to take with us to help keep down the mess and keep kids entertained (we are a no screen household, so no tablets or phones), and we practice the same manners at home as we do out to dinner.

I honestly think there are a lot of well-behaved kids out there. It's just that you don't notice them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks like a disaster of epic proportions from the outside. I have several friends with 3 kids. I know they love their kids and profess to be happy, but it looks like a lot more yuck than yay.

I agree with this. I find every family I know with three children VERY stressful from an outside perspective. Exhausting (and I'll admit here, not to them) often embarrassing in public. No fault of the parents but you just can't be in control when you are outnumbered. I know people will take offense to this but I really do not know a single family with three where this is not the case.

I know one family with 3 who isn't like this but they are Swedish and I swear their kids are robots. These are the kids who sit quietly and eat shit like salmon and beetroot with zero complaints.

LOL

This should be your hint that parenting American way is not the only way to go. Memo to all posters: weekend activities are OPTIONAL. For when you feel like it and have time, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks like a disaster of epic proportions from the outside. I have several friends with 3 kids. I know they love their kids and profess to be happy, but it looks like a lot more yuck than yay.

I agree with this. I find every family I know with three children VERY stressful from an outside perspective. Exhausting (and I'll admit here, not to them) often embarrassing in public. No fault of the parents but you just can't be in control when you are outnumbered. I know people will take offense to this but I really do not know a single family with three where this is not the case.

I know one family with 3 who isn't like this but they are Swedish and I swear their kids are robots. These are the kids who sit quietly and eat shit like salmon and beetroot with zero complaints.

LOL

This should be your hint that parenting American way is not the only way to go. Memo to all posters: weekend activities are OPTIONAL. For when you feel like it and have time, you know.

If you are completely not athletic yourself and don't want your kids ever playing sports.

All kids games happen on the weekends.

I am glad my parents let us play travel soccer. It was our 'one choice' and all three of us ended up playing in college. Great life experience.

What if your kid wants to do a chess tournament or scouts?

Very silly to say you will never do any weekend activities.

You must be in baby/toddler stage.

[Anonymous]

I posted a similar question about a month ago. We decided not to go for the third. Most of our friends and colleagues have 1 or 2 kids. We enjoy great lifestyles filled with academic enrichment, sports and travel. The families we know with 3 seem to be stressed out a lot more and one kid is often left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the rule is have them all before 40. You should be ok.

Hmmmm.

I had my second child the month after I turned 38.

We decided to stop and it was the best decision for us.

Two boys that get aling fantastically. I see what's involved 7 years out and a third would kill us. We are very relaxed currently.

This weekends calendar includes 5 kid Bday parties, a rec soccer game, a travel soccer game, swim lessons for 1, a training session for 1.

We can divide and conquer --but if we had another younger one in tow--no way.

We also have 2 cross-country vacations this summer and some short trips which are relaxing because the 7 and 9.5 yr old can take care of themselves and play really well together.

Do think long term. You will be much more tired in your mid-40s even if you take fantastic. Care of yourself. I see friends with the third and they collectively tell me how much harder it is.

I agree with this totally. I laugh that all the parents who say that having 3 is no different than 2 have young kids. Well, of course!!!! At that age, there is very little difference. If you have 2 toddlers/preschoolers and an infant, it's not very different than 1 toddler/preschooler and an infant.
Wait until the kids are all school aged and you're trying to keep up with the social needs of 3 kids. It's exhausting. We can easily have 3 parties and 5 sporting events every weekend and we have 3 open houses a week at school. Add in playdates and school performances and music lessons and it's crazy with 3. And sure you can say, "well my kids won't be doing all that stuff". Just wait, the culture around here parents like that. It is very hard to tell your kids "No you can't play soccer" or "No you can't go ice skating with your friends" or "No you can't go to the 2 parties you've been invited to this weekend" or "no I won't be at your open house this week even though you tell me all the other parents are".
Honestly I can't stress enough. Having 3 kids is easy when they're young. It's a whole different game of crazy once they're school aged and have busy lives.

+100

I think I am the only responder with older kids.

I am the youngest of 3 (and even though I'm the favorite)- my mom says there's no way she'd have 3 today. Times are different.

I'm a mom of three -- now 22, 19 and 16. It was HARD during the years all were in school. As others have said, keeping up with the various activities on the weekend for each child was a fulltime job! Now, with only one at home I'm nostalgic and miss the commotion of a full house. It's so great when all three kids get together now and hang out! But not gonna lie -- it was rough.