What do you for yourself to maintain an identity outside of being a mom?

[Anonymous]

I'm a stay-at-home mom of 3+ years with two kids. My husband and I take turn with some of the night duties (such as putting our 3-yr old to bed) so that the other can go out for some "me" time. (So, "me" time is really from 7ish to 10ish if either of us can stay awake that long!) However, when I take my "me" time, I find myself at the grocery store, or at the library picking out new books for kids, or just going to Starbucks to buy myself a treat. I recognize that I need to find something to engage my mind outside of my children so that my whole existence doesn't revolve around being a mom to two wonderful children. I'm talking about finding an interest such as a book club, taking an art class, playing on a sports team, etc. I was just wondering what other moms do and how they find the time for their activity. I just cannot figure out where to find the time. Anytime I do one of the things I mentioned before, I think to myself that I should really be at the gym working out, but then my whole day would be waking up, taking care of kids, going to the gym and going to sleep. How do other moms find the balance to take care of their families, their bodies and their spirit?

[Anonymous]

I found a hobby that is all mine: knitting. I took a knitting class and then spent time making things for myself. I also made things for my kids, but not just for them. Now I make items that I give away as gifts or donate.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live?

If near downtown, taking a class at either the Smithsonian or through USDA could be a no pressure way to re-engage your grown-up brain.

[Anonymous]

I joined a book club with several other women. We read books I want to read. Not children books, not parenting books, but rather books we select as a group.
It's once a month or every 6 weeks, dinner out with the girls of the book club.

I also go to the gym and work out a few times a week.

That's about it. I don't have time for any more, I work full time. I think my other "me" time is my time alone in the car commuting (20-30 mintues a day each way).
I get to talk to myself, listen to music and chill.

[Anonymous]

I do yoga, read books for pleasure(not parenting books), work on my artistic hobbies. Also I find doing my nails very relaxing and it's all about ME! I plan to try and learn the guitar and conversational French in the next couple of years on my "down time", just haven't gotten around to getting the DVD/ CDs yet. I work part-time from home and I have a 2 yr old.
Have you considered learning a language?

[Anonymous]

I'm only posting to say that I struggle with this. Commuting, work, chores and running to stay in shape . . . there is not much left for my/hobbies. I have lots of stuff I'd like to do but how do you all find the time?

[Anonymous]

I had to laugh at this, because I'm not sure I have an identity besides mom anymore.

But I do work three days a week. So I guess I am "mom" and "worker" But as far as personal interests, I'm too tired. Sad isn't it.

[zumbamama]

My name says it all, I guess. I feel like I am "me" everytime I perform onstage in front of a large audience. When the crowd starts to draw and follow me, I feel so much energy and so alive.

[Anonymous]

It's hard with working and raising a child to do much for myself. I do like to work in our yard on nice weekends. I like to read and walk the dog. I know there's more I enjoy but right now, can't think of any

[Anonymous]

facebook?
work?
girls night out (4X per year)
gardening

[Anonymous]

I must say I get a lot of my identity from work. I have cut back my hours since having a baby, so being a mom definitely comes first, but I enjoy what I do and worked hard to get there, as well as to be valued enough to be able to control my own schedule since the baby.

Otherwise, there is not much. Before the baby, yoga and running were two major hobbies of mine, but I don't have time to devote to either - I walk during my lunch hours to at least stay active, and fit in some toning exercises and stretching, but until I stop BF and can get more consistent sleep, there is no way I can devote my energy to working out like I used to.

Since becoming a mom, I find myself spending time on mom-oriented web sites, reading mom-oriented books, etc. So the mom thing really can take you over - not a complaint, just a reality for me.

I'm just trying to enjoy the baby phase now and know that one day I'll be really sad that she is so independent and me and DH aren't her whole world. Also I find it interesting that the DCUM Older Kids thread is not nearly as active as the ones talking about baby stuff. So it gives me hope that one day I might chill out on the whole mom thing and find some other meaning in my life again - besides baby and work (and family in general).

[Anonymous]

BOOKS! I read tons of books. Right now I am on a journey around the world. My current stop over is Sub-Sahara Africa. In the last few months I have read a dozen books on South Africa and Zimbabwe. I will move up the continent through the spring.

I went to a dinner party a few weeks ago and got THE BEST compliment. There happend to be a guy from Africa at this party who lived there for 20 years and we were discusisng Africa. He asked me what I did for a living and told him about my PT job. His response? He said "Oh, I thought you worked at one of those think tanks in DC!" It is so nice to be able to really hold a conversation and pull from all of the books I've been reading over the years.

[Anonymous]

Roller derby. No kidding.

[Anonymous]

I'm a

[Anonymous]

Sorry! That was me before. I don't know what happened.

I'm a SAHM. I still do a lot with my friends who don't have children, and with my friends who knew me before I had children. That insures that I can't talk babies all the time. I read a lot, and I still make time to go to the movies (one of my passions). I listen to a lot of music still (another passion). I pretty much feel like the same person I was before I had a child, with one extra big thing added in now.