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What do you for yourself to maintain an identity outside of being a mom?
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Anonymous
| Read the newspaper every day. Gives you something to talk about. |
Anonymous
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I have a part-time job that I love and am very plugged in to my profession. That includes reading professional publications (which is fun, non-mom time for me) and light networking, which is really just staying connected (usually via email) with the people I know in my field.
I also love to keep up with politics, policy and other current events. Skimming the NY Times on-line, a few key blogs and maybe a bit of CNN each day does the trick. Working out or taking long walks from time to time is helpful, too. It gives me time to be alone with my thoughts, more than anything else. And like many of the PPs, I love to read. Fiction or non-fiction, it doesn't matter. Libraries are great for trying something new. It's really nice to take a break from kids' books, child-rearing books, and professional reading. |
Anonymous
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I am going to be a mother until the day I die. It is part of who I am, and with my children being young, it is a huge part of my identity.
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Anonymous
| I have a career and travel for work. But recently I started running, did a 5 K, and am now training for a 10 K. Hope to do a half-marathon then a full marathon in the next year. I added a bootcamp. My son is now 4 and for the first time in a long time, I feel like a person again. I think the regular exercise and socializing with adults who are not all parents has been really great. There's only so much of the talk about preschool, activities, tantrums etc you can talk about. |
Anonymous
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running.
i know, i know, not everyone's idea of fun "me time" BUT I used to dread and hate running and now that I am a SAHM mom of 2 small kids I actually look forward to it (most of the time). I have 2 hours to myself every morning (pre-K for one kid and the other has a bsitter during that time) and I usually go for a run. I end up in a different part of DC every time I do it. I explore neighborhoods and areas of dc i dont know. After 45 I usually end up somewhere where i can window shop or do errands and then metro home. What's good about running (versus the gym) is that it takes much less time (no transport to and from gym) and is very efficient exercise. It is free, too. But the main thing is that you can GO AT YOUR PACE---NOT THE PACE OF YOUR KIDS! I find this very refreshing as a mom of a toddler who takes forever to do anything!!! Plus, I am in better shape than ever! |
Anonymous
Yeah! Good for you. I used to dance as well (tap, jazz, modern, hip hop) but have slowed down almost to none since my child years. I hope to go back. Enjoy every second! |
Anonymous
| What outside identity? My postpartum belly is like the elephant man's and I spend my days oozing and cleaning up bodily fluids. |
Anonymous
OP here, I love this post because my husband and I (pre-kids) used to do exactly what you do...running to explore DC. And your advice to perhaps run rather than going to the gym mirrors my thoughts, but first I think I need to drop the extra 15 lbs I'm carrying. I'm afraid I'll hurt my joints if I don't. So first it's off to the gym, then I'll gradually work in running. I still like going to the gym to lift weights, but I agree with the whole "transport" idea. I also love the post from the mom who explores the world through reading. I'm not much of a reader, but given the current demands on my time, maybe I should set a small reading goal for myself. I'd love to be able to hold an intelligent conversation with an adult about an exciting subject that is not completely related to my children! Thanks to all who have posted. I hope others continue to post! |
Anonymous
Been there! 
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Anonymous
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My job which I love.
Reading for pleasure. I'm also in a book club. Frequent girls' nights out. Date nights with DH. Exercise and staying fit. I also enjoy playing tennis. |
Anonymous
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for me, working out is about the only thing I do that's for "me." i don't see it as an obligation so much as something I get to do, and I try to do it 6 days a week. I'm a working mom, but I fit in a few workouts while DD's with her dad, I fit in two workouts per week by sneaking out of my job at lunchtime, and I take her to gym daycare for an hour the other days.
I also have an arrangement with her dad (we're not together) that we each get one weekend night "off" to go out with friends - maybe you could get a night "off" every couple of weeks to go to happy hour or a movie or dinner w/ the girls? (i recognize that couples *might* want to have some date nights together, so the every-week thing might not work for you.) Also, my DD is still bottle-fed, and I read while I'm feeding her. I prefer chick-lit fiction, stuff I can read for 10-15 minutes and then put down when we're done. otherwise, my time is pretty much Work/Baby/Essential Errands/Pass out. |
Anonymous
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My job is a part of my identity, but I also seek escape from that definition. I work full-time, but telecommute almost every day.
Took up painting a couple of years ago because I felt like there was a lot of yellow, red, and orange inside me trying to get out. I do abstract acrylics. Take very long walks by myself while listening to NPR - I'm training for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. Read the newspaper every day and novels every now and then. Active in my synagogue, serving on the education board. I also enjoy going to Saturday morning services -- very meditative. Serve on the board of a charity that raises money for medical research. Yoga, but not nearly often enough. Occasionally I treat myself to a massage or a facial. Date nights with my husband at least monthly, and we go away overnight at least once every few months. Went away with my mom for a spa week a couple of times in the past few years. Keep up with scientific advances related to the effect of nutrition on health and lifespan, a special interest of mine. |
Anonymous
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For readers who don't have time to read, I love checking out the "Best American..." series from the library. "Best American Magazine Writing 200X" "Best American Essays 200X" etc. They are short, you know they are good, and they expand your mind. Plus they have them for almost everything you can think of!
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Anonymous
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Another runner here. I was a here-and-there runner until DC#1, then I got addicted to running as a "ME" outlet, and ended up losing 20 lbs. that I was never previously able to lose. Working full time it's tough to fit in the runs, but like a PP I sneak out during work a few times a week, then on the weekends DH and I take turns. He likes running with a DC in the jogging stroller, but I only want me and my ipod on the outdoor trails or on our basement treadmill.
I admit I need some girlfriends and girls' nights - the running is good for my head and bod, but I miss the girl exchange. So I'm making more of an effort to call girlfriends for happy hours, etc. What I keep hearing from folks is that for a few years when your DCs are really young, there isn't much going out or "you" time in general - so kudos to all of us for trying! |
Anonymous
| I do some form of strenuous exercise most days, and read the newspaper every day, plus skim a few other sites online. And I like to cook on weekends. |