Nephew got marrid out of state and no one went

[Anonymous]

Nephew got married out of state, far for everyone. It is where the bide is from and where groom now lives. Plane ride for everyone and then 1.5 hours from airport to town where wedding is being held. Grooms side of the family had only immediate family. Groom's family has large extended family. His mom and dad have 8-9 sibling altogether. Approximately 15-20 cousins. So extended family of about 35. One person attended. Some could not afford it. A few coach a spring sport. One family had a conflict with a cousin's performance and so that family was commited to that event. One cousin ran in a relay race.

I guess this is just how it goes when family is all over. And does not really priortize each other.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, what?

The bride and groom are currently living in xyz, where bride's family is from. They got married there, because presumably the majority of their friends and her family live there. Makes sense.

My family and his family are on opposite sides of the country. When planning our wedding, there was no solution that would make it easy for all to attend. We accepted that and paid for the plane tickets of the people we absolutely couldn't bear to have miss that day (sibling, best friend). I did not expect many others to make the sacrifice to come for a few hours of ceremony/reception! That's a huge request!

If it's a big deal to you that groom's family missed out, throw a party locally on a weekend this summer to celebrate the marriage.

[Anonymous]

They were probably thrilled to save the money.

[Anonymous]

Pointless rambling

[Anonymous]

My brother paid for my niece's wedding and paid for the air ticket and hotel and meals for all the relatives. The relatives came from India - around 20 in all. You do the math!

[Anonymous]

Is this a problem? I got married in DC, where DH and I live. My dad has 9 siblings and I have 40ish cousins on that side, they all live on the west coast. Not a single one of them came and it was totally fine and expected. I would have loved having the family there but totally understood that it's expensive and they have other things going on. I don't go to any of their weddings unless I have another reason to be out there. My mom's side is closer so a few family members came and that was great. All our local friends came and we had a blast. That's just how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pointless rambling

True true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, what?

The bride and groom are currently living in xyz, where bride's family is from. They got married there, because presumably the majority of their friends and her family live there. Makes sense.

My family and his family are on opposite sides of the country. When planning our wedding, there was no solution that would make it easy for all to attend. We accepted that and paid for the plane tickets of the people we absolutely couldn't bear to have miss that day (sibling, best friend). I did not expect many others to make the sacrifice to come for a few hours of ceremony/reception! That's a huge request!

If it's a big deal to you that groom's family missed out, throw a party locally on a weekend this summer to celebrate the marriage.

.
Agree

[Anonymous]

Your point?

We got married in my hometown halfway across the country and the guests were probably 8:1 bride/groom. Not that we didn't invite DH's family (aunts, uncles, cousins), but none of them could come that far. Totally understandable. All my relatives were in the area so they all came.

We see DH's family more often, though, because we live closer to them.

[Anonymous]

The same thing happened for our wedding. We got married in my hometown, which was about an hour from where we lived. My husband's parents and siblings were there, along with several of his good friends. None of his aunts, uncles, cousins (his parents also had several siblings each).

The thing is, people have their own lives, and you can't necessarily expect them to drop everything and spend a fortune (and a bunch of leave time) to attend your wedding. It was a little hurtful for my husband, though, when the whole family traveled to his sister's wedding a few years later. Some of the family was close-ish to her wedding, but a bunch of then traveled farther than they would have for ours.

Again though, all you can do is invite the people you want to be with you and accept that some of them won't be able to make the journey - for a lot of different reasons. And never get into the mindfuck of judging whether their reasons were good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happened for our wedding. We got married in my hometown, which was about an hour from where we lived. My husband's parents and siblings were there, along with several of his good friends. None of his aunts, uncles, cousins (his parents also had several siblings each).

The thing is, people have their own lives, and you can't necessarily expect them to drop everything and spend a fortune (and a bunch of leave time) to attend your wedding. It was a little hurtful for my husband, though, when the whole family traveled to his sister's wedding a few years later. Some of the family was close-ish to her wedding, but a bunch of then traveled farther than they would have for ours.

Again though, all you can do is invite the people you want to be with you and accept that some of them won't be able to make the journey - for a lot of different reasons. And never get into the mindfuck of judging whether their reasons were good enough.

Thanks. Needed that. You are right.

[Anonymous]

Are you upset, or is your nephew upset?

Don't project your feelings onto him if he is perfectly content. My cousin got married at Disneyland with only immediate family in attendance. He wanted that. He got that. We respected his wishes.

[Anonymous]

You sound really annoying, OP. I'm sure family members hate having you at events where you probably sit around and sigh about how no one puts family first anymore.

[Anonymous]

That's sad. Most family will travel for weddings. We're attending 4 this summer, all a plane ride away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying, OP. I'm sure family members hate having you at events where you probably sit around and sigh about how no one puts family first anymore.

Hahaha