Baby cries whenever grandmother holds her
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Anonymous
| Our 4.5 month old cries (as in really screams) every time her grandmother holds her. I go back to work soon and grandma is supposed to do part of the child care. What do we do?!? Any suggestions for acclimating them to one another. This hasn't happened with any of the other grandchildren. They all love her and the baby doesn't do this with anybody else. |
Anonymous
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Probably just a phase.
Does grandma smell like anything in particular? Food? Perfume? Something that might bother baby? |
Anonymous
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My DD hated my MIL. Screamed whenever MIL was holding her. We figured that MIL owed her money in a previous life.
Seriously, she grew out of it. Tell Grandma to be patient and not react to the baby's cries - which becomes a cycle: Grandma tenses up anticipating the baby's cries and baby cries because Grandma is tensing up. |
Anonymous
| Thanks PPs. Any idea how long this painful phase is going to last? I feel awful for my MIL! |
Anonymous
| How regularly does she see her? Does MIL's presence signify that you're about to leave? Is she your go-to babysitter? Maybe she's protesting to your departure more than she is protesting to MIL's presence. |
Anonymous
No she does this when we're just hanging out with her. It's heartbreaking! She's only watched her on her own three times in 4.5 months. |
Anonymous
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It is natural stranger anxiety and your baby will get used to her, same as she would if you had hired a nanny or done day care. However, your MIL might not be up for all the screaming in the way that child care providers know that's part of the territory.
Is she doing things that are counter productive? My parents like to get into my child's face and make tons of noise to attract her attention. Even though I tell them 1000 times that it's better to just sit quietly and watch her play and let her get used to you. |
Anonymous
This. Tell Grandma to relax and sing to the baby while she holds her. The baby will settle down. |
Anonymous
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Boobs. My mother and I were similarly gifted. My BFF is without such plush attributes. It took DD a few attempts to adjust to her care. We laugh about it. No big deal. I had my friend wear a robe I wore when nursing. It helped, the combination of scent and texture. I hope your MIL doesn't take it personally. This reminds me of an episode of the Andy Griffith show, when the baby cried whenever Aunt Bee picked it up. Remember? Opie had given her some blueberry pie. Aunt Bee grabbed the baby, thinking is was blue and in an emergency situation. The baby never cried because, for the first time, Aunt Bee had held her with confidence. The silly things we remember from childhood television shows! TL;DR: Hopefully it'll work itself out. |
Anonymous
| Perfume! Make sure she doesn't wear any. |
Anonymous
This is the strange part. Grandma cares for babies in her professional life and has other grandkids that never had this issue. I'm not sure what it is that the baby doesn't like. She has never reacted this way to any of the other family, friends or childcare providers who have held her. |
Anonymous
| I would punish my baby and leave her with grandma for at least a month. Just to piss my brat of a kid off. I don't deal with babies like this. |
Anonymous
| My DD absolutely positively hated my mother. It was really crazy how badly she reacted to her, right from the beginning, and sad. My mom was a trooper though and kept on at it, and after about 6-7 months it seemed to wear off. They are very close now. Babies are weird! |
Anonymous
| Is it your MIL? I could totally see my baby reacting this way to MIL. Maybe she will be able to sense how awful MIL treats me and cry bloody murder. I kid I kid...sort of :p |
Anonymous
Um yeah that's what I kind of think every time DS gives my MIL the cold shoulder. Sorry, I know, not helpful. I'm sure your baby will grow out of it. Your MIL sounds nice. |