WWYD - family drama and I don't want to be involved.

[Anonymous]

Long story short, DH and I are hosting an event next month to which family is invited. One of my aunts has sent me an email telling me not to invite another aunt (her sister). I don't know, and don't care, why there's contention between them. Aunt #1 is saying she won't attend if Aunt #2 goes. I'm pissed that she's involving me at all, and am tempted to tell her not to bother, but don't want to add to the drama.

WWYD DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Email them both the same generic invitation and and let them figure it out.

Just act as if the drama doesn't exist, change the subject if it comes up, refuse to engage.

[Anonymous]

"We don't feel comfortable getting in the middle of what's going on with you and Aunt 2. We are inviting everyone, and understand if you chose not to join us."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We don't feel comfortable getting in the middle of what's going on with you and Aunt 2. We are inviting everyone, and understand if you chose not to join us."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Email them both the same generic invitation and and let them figure it out.

Just act as if the drama doesn't exist, change the subject if it comes up, refuse to engage.

I've already sent invites (paper) and indicated as such in a response to Aunt #1. I guess she didn't read it because she sent me a follow up asking if I had or was planning to invite Aunt #2. So invites are already out. I'm just so mad that this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Have extra booze at your event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We don't feel comfortable getting in the middle of what's going on with you and Aunt 2. We are inviting everyone, and understand if you chose not to join us."

+1

I would never give in to an ultimatum like this.

[Anonymous]

I've heard (and believe) the general rule is that you never choose the individual who is wanting you to choose.

Here, I don't think you have to go that far as to choose: You invite both, mention to them (in passing) you've invited both, and if pushed, say they are over 18 so can work it out between them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Email them both the same generic invitation and and let them figure it out.

Just act as if the drama doesn't exist, change the subject if it comes up, refuse to engage.

I've already sent invites (paper) and indicated as such in a response to Aunt #1. I guess she didn't read it because she sent me a follow up asking if I had or was planning to invite Aunt #2. So invites are already out. I'm just so mad that this is happening.

Just read this part. You've already responded. Don't reply to this latest email. She'll have to go back and re-read your other email.

OP you should be pissed! This is really bad behavior. Do not give in. Assume she will be furious with you next, bully that she is. It's ok to have her be mad at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We don't feel comfortable getting in the middle of what's going on with you and Aunt 2. We are inviting everyone, and understand if you chose not to join us."

+1

+100. Let it happen as it happens. Their conflict is not yours.

[Anonymous]

Do not engage, OP. Your aunt clearly wants you involved in this drama - don't take the bait. Explain sweetly that invitations are out and leave it at that. It's your event, you get to invite whomever you'd like.

[Anonymous]

Did you invite Aunt #2? Has she said anything about the situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you invite Aunt #2? Has she said anything about the situation?

Yes, I sent invites before this was an issue, and would have even if I'd gotten the email before doing so. I'm close with Aunt #2, which makes this even more uncomfortable for me.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them both to bring their "no boxed gifts" and they can bare knuckle box to the finish in your driveway while everyone else enjoys the party inside

[Anonymous]

Unless aunt number two is a child molester, excluding her to please her sister would not be ok.