DH in love with ex when we met

[Anonymous]

After looking through his emails, I find that he was emailing/trying to make up with his ex-girlfriend while he was trying to talk to me.I had no idea at the time.

Would you be upset?

[Anonymous]

How long ago was this and at what point in your relationship did these attempts end? Do you think he might still be in love with his ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long ago was this and at what point in your relationship did these attempts end? Do you think he might still be in love with his ex?

When we first met and he asked me out. I knew he was recently broken up with his girlfriend but had no idea he was still trying to get back with her and write her desperate love letters all the while taking me out.

[Anonymous]

Assuming it's been years since and your marriage is happy? No. DH broke up with his gf of 5 years 3 months before we met. HE proposed, she said she wasn't sure, he ended it a week later. If I had found emails between them when they first started dating, I might be initially hurt but I would also get it. 5 years later, and 2 of those being happily married, I wouldn't be upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After looking through his emails, I find that he was emailing/trying to make up with his ex-girlfriend while he was trying to talk to me.I had no idea at the time.

Would you be upset?

That's not nearly as upsetting as it is that you went looking through his e-mails. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming it's been years since and your marriage is happy? No. DH broke up with his gf of 5 years 3 months before we met. HE proposed, she said she wasn't sure, he ended it a week later. If I had found emails between them when they first started dating, I might be initially hurt but I would also get it. 5 years later, and 2 of those being happily married, I wouldn't be upset.

You wouldn't be hurt seeing that he was professing his love for her/trying to work things out with her at the same time as he started dating you?

[Anonymous]

How long have you guys been married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you guys been married?

6 months-ish. happily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming it's been years since and your marriage is happy? No. DH broke up with his gf of 5 years 3 months before we met. HE proposed, she said she wasn't sure, he ended it a week later. If I had found emails between them when they first started dating, I might be initially hurt but I would also get it. 5 years later, and 2 of those being happily married, I wouldn't be upset.

You wouldn't be hurt seeing that he was professing his love for her/trying to work things out with her at the same time as he started dating you?

5 happy years later? It would be a fleeting feeling of being upset. I'd understand the complexity of how things ended and likely the feelings that were still there. But in the end, I'd let it go. I have no concerns about his feelings for me or his happiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long ago was this and at what point in your relationship did these attempts end? Do you think he might still be in love with his ex?

When we first met and he asked me out. I knew he was recently broken up with his girlfriend but had no idea he was still trying to get back with her and write her desperate love letters all the while taking me out.

I wouldn't care. Back when I first met DH, I was still making eyes at other men and talking to exes. Did he continue to try to woo his ex back after you were exclusively dating and planning a life together?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with a serious bf of 2 years, where we were talking about marriage. We were madly in love, but it was toxic. I met DH two weeks after I broke up with said bf for the 10th time. Was I still in love with ex-bf when I met DH? Yes. Was my DH awesome, and swept me off my feet? Yes. After knowing DH for about two weeks, I broke off all contact with ex-bf, and made it exclusive with DH. During those four weeks I didn't sleep with ex-bf, just would read his love letters, and countless texts begging me to take him back. I've been with DH 5 years, married for 3.

[Anonymous]

Of course not

[Anonymous]

Considering your initial getting together was based on deception I would be livid.

I mean, truthfully OP....Can you ever fully trust this man again?

If the answer is no, then your marriage may be shot.

[Anonymous]

Oh for crying out loud. If you guys weren't exclusive at that point and he was still trying to figure things out, I might be a little hurt. But he married you! Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Again, the important question is WHY are you digging through and reading his old emails?