S/o cheating with no guilt

[Anonymous]

Am I the only cheater who feels zero guilt?

I have never cheated on my husband, but before I got married, I cheated on boyfriends and felt no guilt about it. I just don't see the big deal about quietly getting my rocks off with someone else on a one-time basis. Honestly, if my guy was screwing someone he didn't love, I don't think I would give much of a shit, as long as he had protected sex, it wasn't another man, he didn't love the person or give them any money, and it wasn't public knowledge. Why are genitals rubbing together the source of so much pain for people?

Reading the thread about the woman who slept with another guy while overseas, I am just baffled by her histrionics. So, you screwed another guy. Fix your skirt, pat your hair, and carry on with life. I could understand her panic if she got caught, but I just can't understand why the act itself, without being caught, had her all in a tizzy.

Sometimes, I feel as if I must be a robot. I don't get most people's emotions. And no, this isn't a troll post. I have struggled all my life to understand why cheating is such a big deal (assuming the other person isn't a relative or something).

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, OP. I've posted here for years about my husband not being into touch generally and having a fairly low sex drive. I was faithful all through our dating years, engagement and the first seven or so years of marriage. Then I met a guy who just swept me off my feet. I couldn't have stayed married without the OM, and it's definitely been best for my kids that their family is intact.

I would feel guilty if my affair prevented me from giving the time and attention to my husband and kids that they need and want, but since it didn't, it's a win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. I've posted here for years about my husband not being into touch generally and having a fairly low sex drive. I was faithful all through our dating years, engagement and the first seven or so years of marriage. Then I met a guy who just swept me off my feet. I couldn't have stayed married without the OM, and it's definitely been best for my kids that their family is intact.

I would feel guilty if my affair prevented me from giving the time and attention to my husband and kids that they need and want, but since it didn't, it's a win win.

OP here. You're actually talking about a different scenario than I am. I am not talking about maintaining a mistress/mister on the side because that speaks to longterm duplicity and a host of other issues. I can definitely see how being an unwitting co-wife/co-husband would piss a person off.


I am talking about a simple oil change. A one-time cleaning of the pipes, so to speak. I don't see why one-offs without feelings, money, or time exchanged fill people with such guilt/anger.

[Anonymous]

It's not about how it makes you feel, it's about how it makes your partner feel. A woman will feel threatened if her partner sleeps with someone else, and even more so if he has feelings for that person. A man will feel threatened if his partner sleeps with someone else, with or without feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. I've posted here for years about my husband not being into touch generally and having a fairly low sex drive. I was faithful all through our dating years, engagement and the first seven or so years of marriage. Then I met a guy who just swept me off my feet. I couldn't have stayed married without the OM, and it's definitely been best for my kids that their family is intact.

I would feel guilty if my affair prevented me from giving the time and attention to my husband and kids that they need and want, but since it didn't, it's a win win.

OP here. You're actually talking about a different scenario than I am. I am not talking about maintaining a mistress/mister on the side because that speaks to longterm duplicity and a host of other issues. I can definitely see how being an unwitting co-wife/co-husband would piss a person off.


I am talking about a simple oil change. A one-time cleaning of the pipes, so to speak. I don't see why one-offs without feelings, money, or time exchanged fill people with such guilt/anger.

In your first post, based on how your worded it, you are a man. Yet, your references makes it appear you are a woman. Now on this response to the woman poster you again use very male terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. I've posted here for years about my husband not being into touch generally and having a fairly low sex drive. I was faithful all through our dating years, engagement and the first seven or so years of marriage. Then I met a guy who just swept me off my feet. I couldn't have stayed married without the OM, and it's definitely been best for my kids that their family is intact.

I would feel guilty if my affair prevented me from giving the time and attention to my husband and kids that they need and want, but since it didn't, it's a win win.

OP here. You're actually talking about a different scenario than I am. I am not talking about maintaining a mistress/mister on the side because that speaks to longterm duplicity and a host of other issues. I can definitely see how being an unwitting co-wife/co-husband would piss a person off.


I am talking about a simple oil change. A one-time cleaning of the pipes, so to speak. I don't see why one-offs without feelings, money, or time exchanged fill people with such guilt/anger.

In your first post, based on how your worded it, you are a man. Yet, your references makes it appear you are a woman. Now on this response to the woman poster you again use very male terms.

Lolol Oh god, this is probably why I have no girlfriends. I am a woman. Seriously. But you are not the first person to think I am a man based on how I write. And I don't really get women in real life, though I try really hard with women. I look very feminine, but apparently, I think in very masculine ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about how it makes you feel, it's about how it makes your partner feel. A woman will feel threatened if her partner sleeps with someone else, and even more so if he has feelings for that person. A man will feel threatened if his partner sleeps with someone else, with or without feelings.

OP here (the last post was me too). This thread is about the cheater. Why do cheaters feel so much guilt, even when they are not caught and will not carry on with the person who they are cheating with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only cheater who feels zero guilt?

I have never cheated on my husband, but before I got married, I cheated on boyfriends and felt no guilt about it. I just don't see the big deal about quietly getting my rocks off with someone else on a one-time basis. Honestly, if my guy was screwing someone he didn't love, I don't think I would give much of a shit, as long as he had protected sex, it wasn't another man, he didn't love the person or give them any money, and it wasn't public knowledge. Why are genitals rubbing together the source of so much pain for people?

Reading the thread about the woman who slept with another guy while overseas, I am just baffled by her histrionics. So, you screwed another guy. Fix your skirt, pat your hair, and carry on with life. I could understand her panic if she got caught, but I just can't understand why the act itself, without being caught, had her all in a tizzy.

Sometimes, I feel as if I must be a robot. I don't get most people's emotions. And no, this isn't a troll post. I have struggled all my life to understand why cheating is such a big deal (assuming the other person isn't a relative or something).

This reads like a male writer to me.

[Anonymous]

That's because it is. Try again OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about how it makes you feel, it's about how it makes your partner feel. A woman will feel threatened if her partner sleeps with someone else, and even more so if he has feelings for that person. A man will feel threatened if his partner sleeps with someone else, with or without feelings.

OP here (the last post was me too). This thread is about the cheater. Why do cheaters feel so much guilt, even when they are not caught and will not carry on with the person who they are cheating with?

Probably because they know it's wrong for whatever reason. Maybe your spouse would absolutely not be okay with it. Maybe you know that, unless you have clearly outlined expectations for an open relationship or other arrangements, that it's wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only cheater who feels zero guilt?

I have never cheated on my husband, but before I got married, I cheated on boyfriends and felt no guilt about it. I just don't see the big deal about quietly getting my rocks off with someone else on a one-time basis. Honestly, if my guy was screwing someone he didn't love, I don't think I would give much of a shit, as long as he had protected sex, it wasn't another man, he didn't love the person or give them any money, and it wasn't public knowledge. Why are genitals rubbing together the source of so much pain for people?

Reading the thread about the woman who slept with another guy while overseas, I am just baffled by her histrionics. So, you screwed another guy. Fix your skirt, pat your hair, and carry on with life. I could understand her panic if she got caught, but I just can't understand why the act itself, without being caught, had her all in a tizzy.

Sometimes, I feel as if I must be a robot. I don't get most people's emotions. And no, this isn't a troll post. I have struggled all my life to understand why cheating is such a big deal (assuming the other person isn't a relative or something).

This reads like a male writer to me.

OP here. Lol! This thread is really proving helpful to me in a totally different way than I expected. If people are 100% sure that I am male just from this post, then this is really helpful to understanding why I have such trouble forming bonds of sympathy with other women in real life. I am 100% woman and if you saw me, you would never mistake me for anything else. But I totally feel completely unlike other women and I have almost all male friends. I am like a man in a woman's body, but I am not transgender nor do I have any desire to be.

[Anonymous]

Have you also been known as a pathological liar? That could get in the way of forming bonds with other females, as you say.

[Anonymous]

If your vow involved a promise to be faithful to your spouse and not to cheat with anyone else and then you cheated, you broke that vow and violated your spouse's trust. That's the real sticking point, more than the rubbing together of genitals. Some people have open relationships and the spouses sleep with other people without guilt, because there's no broken promises and no violation of trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you also been known as a pathological liar? That could get in the way of forming bonds with other females, as you say.

Hahaha this thread is getting really good. I am not a liar. I am a real woman. But wow, even in writing, I come off as a man. I can't even blame you all for not believing me because I really do feel different from other women in real life. I can never talk about this because people don't know what I am talking about when I say I do not feel like other women. But you people in this thread feel it too. You get a strong masculine vibe from me just from the way I write! I might make another thread on this.

Maybe my masculine tendencies are why I don't understand why one-off cheating is such a big deal? Where are the guys in the thread? Do the men here feel the way I do about cheating being no big deal deep down inside?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you also been known as a pathological liar? That could get in the way of forming bonds with other females, as you say.

Hahaha this thread is getting really good. I am not a liar. I am a real woman. But wow, even in writing, I come off as a man. I can't even blame you all for not believing me because I really do feel different from other women in real life. I can never talk about this because people don't know what I am talking about when I say I do not feel like other women. But you people in this thread feel it too. You get a strong masculine vibe from me just from the way I write! I might make another thread on this.

Maybe my masculine tendencies are why I don't understand why one-off cheating is such a big deal? Where are the guys in the thread? Do the men here feel the way I do about cheating being no big deal deep down inside?

I don't think your "masculine tendencies" have anything to do with why you don't see if as a big deal. Plenty of guys feel guilty after cheating, and plenty of them would really go nuts if they found out their wives cheated.