Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
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Michael
Claire Nicholas Anne |
Anonymous
You are naturally thin and love to wear high heels, but feel conspicuous if you do so, so you wear mainly flats. You live in DC close to a metro. You had Lucy when you were between 35-37. You attended prenatal yoga classes and childbirth education classes. You work in middle management in an international development organization after getting your MPH (this was after a stint in the peace corps) and your DH is GS-14 at one of the agencies, bringing your joint HHI to just around $200k. Against your better judgment, you will have a second child (Henry), and you will decide to quit your job because DH's pays more and you were frankly bored of reviewing program plans and grant proposals at work, but you didn't want to take on the international travel needed to move up. But this will be a mistake, because staying at home with two kids is more taxing that you thought, and DH doesn't pitch in as much as he should. After the kids are in elementary school you will try to go back to work, but it will be difficult to find a job because your professional connections have grown stale. So you stay home and move out to the suburbs around time for middle school. You join the PTA. A scandal arises regarding arsenic-tainted soil on the local playing field. You lead the charge against the coverup perpetrated by the county and the school district, demanding accountability. Reinvigorated, you leverage your new connections to a position on the local city council. You realize you still have great legs for a 40-something, so you start wearing heels again and putting your hair up. After turning around the city's woeful budgetary status and skillfully navigating between business development and environmental interests, you capture the attention of local Democratic representatives, who ask you to run for state assembly. To your surprise, you win. You spend the next ten years building on your reputation as an environmentalist sensitive to business needs who can balance the need for development with the need to protect the wildlife. At the end of your three terms in office, facing Lucy and Henry's college tuition bills, you go to work for a K street consulting firm lobbying for giant oil companies, where you leverage your environmental credibility to water down environmental reforms, and become rich. You then retire to Aspen. THE END. |
Anonymous
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Sarah
Emily Thomas |
Anonymous
You are very Irish Catholic and have bought into the fact that all girls must be named Mary Something and then go by their middle names. Only the oldest Mary gets to be called Mary so you could be a little riskier with her name. Much to your surprise she will still be verbally abused by the nuns at school because she has the name of a whore. It doesn't matter that Jesus accepted her, and that she wiped the blood and sweat from his brow, leaving his image on her cloth. Nope she was a whore and the nuns won't let your child forget about it. |
Anonymous
History or lit major at state school in the mid-atlantic. You had the grades to go somewhere more prestigious, but chose to stay near high school boyfriend. After you guys broke up, you did a semester exchange at a college in New England and LOVED IT. You had dreams of moving to NE, but met your current husband and stayed here for his job. |
Anonymous
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Oh! Pick me.
Christian Henry |
Anonymous
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Margaret
Anne |
Anonymous
Ha! Your instincts are good, you described the life I'd be leading if I could afford it. I considered TFA and Peace Corps but ended up getting a job at a nonprofit in DC, still work in that world. We lived in the city -- Logan Circle, in fact -- until the kids were born. But we couldn't afford to buy anything there (see nonprofit job) so we live in the close-in burbs now. Also, I think DH is a hottie, but objectively speaking neither one of us is going to stop traffic. We're probably both on the better-looking side of average. I'm flattered by your description though 
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Anonymous
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Stella
Henry |
Anonymous
Another Gus mom here! |
Anonymous
Pride yourself on not being a cafeteria Catholic, but you're also not Opus Dei. You eat dinner as a family except on date night (sometimes that just means that you and DH eat in the dining room by candlelight, while Michael watches the other kids in the family room). You make everyone matching pajamas every year for Christmas. |
Anonymous
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Andrew
Abigail Claire |
Anonymous
Michael, Claire, Nicholas and Anne all go by their full names. No nicknames, ever. Loudoun County family living in a sprawling, brick front new home on a multi named street like Ashland Falls Drive. Love socializing, which is a good thing, because the neighbor kids are in and out of your house all day and there's zero privacy in that backyard! Oldest two in travel-level sports. Catholic. All four in Catholic schools because you believe in the value of religious education. Anne is either mom's name (confirmation name, maybe?) or named for a beloved relative. Annes aren't given the name just because either parent adored it. House is kind of messy, inside and out. Messy, chaotic, but clean. Lots of little projects ( arts and crafts, gardening, house) get started, but darn if you can ever get one the finished. You are going to try to have a vegetable garden going this summer in your side yard. |
Anonymous
Nope, DC--but I do have friends in Berkeley. I have never purchased a straw fedora for my husband, but I am giving him an ironic Jewish t-shirt for fathers day. |
Anonymous
| Maeko |