NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"

[Anonymous]

They could easily buy on Roosevelt Island, which is convenient, kid-friendly and ridiculously safe. Public school is fine and has G&T programming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They could easily buy on Roosevelt Island, which is convenient, kid-friendly and ridiculously safe. Public school is fine and has G&T programming.

They could easily buy in the South Bronx. It’s convenient to Manhattan, there are parks and professional sports for kids, and odds are you won’t be maimed or killed. Public schools are fine and degree granting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so stupid. I make $150,000 a year and I feel very rich (though with no kids). That doesn’t mean I have no limitations on my spending, and someone who makes $850,000 a year we also have limitations on their spending.

I’m Republican but threads like this pull me somewhat more leftward. Above a relatively moderate income/net worth, money just becomes, at best, about these trivialities or, worse, about greed and status-chasing.

Did you read the lady’s post? You cannot provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC on 850k. She’s not asking for a private jet and house on Jupiter Island, more just the bare minimum.

This part is pretty funny. The majority of the middle class areas in NYC are actually pretty safe or, at least, no more dangerous than the Upper East Side. She can definitely afford those areas on her salary (and send her kids to private schools if publics are not to her liking), but she thinks those areas are beneath her.

Name those areas. A TT private isn’t too receptive to kids from Douglaston, SI, and Woodlawn.

My neighbors sent their daughter to Brearley. Some scholarship assistance may have been involved as the dad is a public school teacher and the mom is a lawyer working for NYC. I know another family that sent their kid to Horace Mann; the mom is a pharmacist, the dad is an executive in an insurance company, so UMC but not hedge fund money. Both families are white, in case you want to bring up DEI.

Re: the billionaire connections. My kid graduated from one of the top US colleges, and in his opinion, if you are coming from a HNW family yourself, you don’t need those extra connections and if you are not, you shouldn’t count on being a hanger on. The social scene at his college was pretty stratified income wise and I assume it’s even more so when the kids go home after school every day.

And one more thing. If you truly believe that the parents’ lifestyle, income and connections is all it takes for the kids to be successful, I have two words for you: Varsity Blues. If the above were true, we’d never heard of Rick Singer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so stupid. I make $150,000 a year and I feel very rich (though with no kids). That doesn’t mean I have no limitations on my spending, and someone who makes $850,000 a year we also have limitations on their spending.

I’m Republican but threads like this pull me somewhat more leftward. Above a relatively moderate income/net worth, money just becomes, at best, about these trivialities or, worse, about greed and status-chasing.

Did you read the lady’s post? You cannot provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC on 850k. She’s not asking for a private jet and house on Jupiter Island, more just the bare minimum.

This part is pretty funny. The majority of the middle class areas in NYC are actually pretty safe or, at least, no more dangerous than the Upper East Side. She can definitely afford those areas on her salary (and send her kids to private schools if publics are not to her liking), but she thinks those areas are beneath her.

Name those areas. A TT private isn’t too receptive to kids from Douglaston, SI, and Woodlawn.

My neighbors sent their daughter to Brearley. Some scholarship assistance may have been involved as the dad is a public school teacher and the mom is a lawyer working for NYC. I know another family that sent their kid to Horace Mann; the mom is a pharmacist, the dad is an executive in an insurance company, so UMC but not hedge fund money. Both families are white, in case you want to bring up DEI.

Re: the billionaire connections. My kid graduated from one of the top US colleges, and in his opinion, if you are coming from a HNW family yourself, you don’t need those extra connections and if you are not, you shouldn’t count on being a hanger on. The social scene at his college was pretty stratified income wise and I assume it’s even more so when the kids go home after school every day.

And one more thing. If you truly believe that the parents’ lifestyle, income and connections is all it takes for the kids to be successful, I have two words for you: Varsity Blues. If the above were true, we’d never heard of Rick Singer.

No one is denying middle class kids don’t get into those private schools. The odds if you are white and not full pay are low single digits even if you are qualified. A NYC public school teacher sending their child to private speaks volumes, the reverse never happens.

The connections always help whether you are rich or poor. And yes, if you aren’t rich plenty of Greek organizations and clubs won’t have you. You can still trade up socially somewhat.

I think you missed the point of Varisty Blues. You are allowed to bribe colleges to gain admission, it is very expensive. The parents in Varsity Blues circumvented this process by paying comparatively small sums to coaches which is illegal. If you want to buy in as a non alum, pay Harvard several million dollars. That’s the price tag, not a quarter million to a crew coach with fake SAT testing on top.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I understand it too. The plebs on X and Reddit can’t fathom but they don’t have “**** you money” like most of us here do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I understand it too. The plebs on X and Reddit can’t fathom but they don’t have “**** you money” like most of us here do.

A lot of the plebs posting here never worked hard, they put in 40-50 hours a week at a cushy fed job where a polo is acceptable attire. They think the Redditor is a 9-5, average IQ professional and can’t fathom the sacrifices she has made for her family. She deserves more than they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of "Fleishman is in Trouble" when it's clear that where else in the world would $300K as a doctor’s salary, even in a rarefied specialty like hepatology at a prestigious Manhattan hospital, won’t cut it. It’s not going to pay the tuition at the elite private schools that his wife intends their future children to attend so that they befriend other children born into privilege and pursue higher education at elite institutions, from which they can graduate into elite professions.

yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so stupid. I make $150,000 a year and I feel very rich (though with no kids). That doesn’t mean I have no limitations on my spending, and someone who makes $850,000 a year we also have limitations on their spending.

I’m Republican but threads like this pull me somewhat more leftward. Above a relatively moderate income/net worth, money just becomes, at best, about these trivialities or, worse, about greed and status-chasing.

Did you read the lady’s post? You cannot provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC on 850k. She’s not asking for a private jet and house on Jupiter Island, more just the bare minimum.

You absolutely can provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC, and for a lot less. It might not be a big room, and private school, in Tribeca, but NYC is a big city and a lot of the posters are incredibly narrow minded in how they imagine a happy life in NYC. I think biglaw expectations, not NYC, may be the problem here.

Please give an example. And if it is living in Jackson Heights and using PS 101 to test into Stuyvesant then that is not “a happy life in NYC”

Name the neighborhoods? Several come to mind: Windsor terrace, ditmas Park, Bay ridge, Astoria, Forest hills, Jackson heights, spuyten duyvil, Riverdale, Woodlawn, Hudson heights, Manor heights. I know people raising families in each of these neighborhoods. I work for NYC and have for more than 20 years (found my way into dcum 22 years ago right out of grad school). My city government colleagues and I are raising families happily in all five boros. You seem to not want to believe this is possible so I don't know what else to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I understand it too. The plebs on X and Reddit can’t fathom but they don’t have “**** you money” like most of us here do.

lol. Sure you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tale of two cities - there’s a good argument for women opting out of this whole mess! She’s happy as a clam in her studio with her rescue dog. Be careful what you ask for when you make money and prestige the guiding principles of your life.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/05/22/realestate/queens-jackson-heights-apartment-sale.html

Every person is different but most people are not looking for money and prestige. They are looking to do something meaningful to them. Often that means to be the best at what you do. Some people are not driven like that but many are. Money and prestige comes with being the best or one of the best it is not the goal.

Ok …. Well I think most law partners are in it for the money and some prestige. It’s just a sad human state that Reddit OP cannot be happy with what she has.

OP wouldn’t feel bad if she only had a HS degree, worked 20 hours a week, and somehow made 850k a year. She has made enormous sacrifices from a young age (delayed gratification) and there is a personal cost. When you live in NY you see far more successful people than you every day and it makes you question your decision to work 80 hours a week and not see your family or be able to provide optimal housing.

If you can’t accept that you are part of the NYC middle class and can’t be happy doing your best living a NYC middle class life then it’s time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so stupid. I make $150,000 a year and I feel very rich (though with no kids). That doesn’t mean I have no limitations on my spending, and someone who makes $850,000 a year we also have limitations on their spending.

I’m Republican but threads like this pull me somewhat more leftward. Above a relatively moderate income/net worth, money just becomes, at best, about these trivialities or, worse, about greed and status-chasing.

Did you read the lady’s post? You cannot provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC on 850k. She’s not asking for a private jet and house on Jupiter Island, more just the bare minimum.

You absolutely can provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC, and for a lot less. It might not be a big room, and private school, in Tribeca, but NYC is a big city and a lot of the posters are incredibly narrow minded in how they imagine a happy life in NYC. I think biglaw expectations, not NYC, may be the problem here.

Please give an example. And if it is living in Jackson Heights and using PS 101 to test into Stuyvesant then that is not “a happy life in NYC”

Name the neighborhoods? Several come to mind: Windsor terrace, ditmas Park, Bay ridge, Astoria, Forest hills, Jackson heights, spuyten duyvil, Riverdale, Woodlawn, Hudson heights, Manor heights. I know people raising families in each of these neighborhoods. I work for NYC and have for more than 20 years (found my way into dcum 22 years ago right out of grad school). My city government colleagues and I are raising families happily in all five boros. You seem to not want to believe this is possible so I don't know what else to tell you.

No corporate attorney making 850k is going to live on Staten Island or the Bronx unless they already have family there. Bay Ridge is a MAGA hotbed and Ditmas Park is difficult socially if you’re not part of the primary religious group (which has formed an admirable community). If you are as far out as Forest Hills then you should just go to Nassau for the schools.

Please tell me you don’t work for the NYC Dept of Education…

[Anonymous]

These people are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

i hate how true this is. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so stupid. I make $150,000 a year and I feel very rich (though with no kids). That doesn’t mean I have no limitations on my spending, and someone who makes $850,000 a year we also have limitations on their spending.

I’m Republican but threads like this pull me somewhat more leftward. Above a relatively moderate income/net worth, money just becomes, at best, about these trivialities or, worse, about greed and status-chasing.

Did you read the lady’s post? You cannot provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC on 850k. She’s not asking for a private jet and house on Jupiter Island, more just the bare minimum.

You absolutely can provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC, and for a lot less. It might not be a big room, and private school, in Tribeca, but NYC is a big city and a lot of the posters are incredibly narrow minded in how they imagine a happy life in NYC. I think biglaw expectations, not NYC, may be the problem here.

Please give an example. And if it is living in Jackson Heights and using PS 101 to test into Stuyvesant then that is not “a happy life in NYC”

Name the neighborhoods? Several come to mind: Windsor terrace, ditmas Park, Bay ridge, Astoria, Forest hills, Jackson heights, spuyten duyvil, Riverdale, Woodlawn, Hudson heights, Manor heights. I know people raising families in each of these neighborhoods. I work for NYC and have for more than 20 years (found my way into dcum 22 years ago right out of grad school). My city government colleagues and I are raising families happily in all five boros. You seem to not want to believe this is possible so I don't know what else to tell you.

No corporate attorney making 850k is going to live on Staten Island or the Bronx unless they already have family there. Bay Ridge is a MAGA hotbed and Ditmas Park is difficult socially if you’re not part of the primary religious group (which has formed an admirable community). If you are as far out as Forest Hills then you should just go to Nassau for the schools.

Please tell me you don’t work for the NYC Dept of Education…

There is no primary religious group in Ditmas Park. What have you been smoking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so stupid. I make $150,000 a year and I feel very rich (though with no kids). That doesn’t mean I have no limitations on my spending, and someone who makes $850,000 a year we also have limitations on their spending.

I’m Republican but threads like this pull me somewhat more leftward. Above a relatively moderate income/net worth, money just becomes, at best, about these trivialities or, worse, about greed and status-chasing.

Did you read the lady’s post? You cannot provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC on 850k. She’s not asking for a private jet and house on Jupiter Island, more just the bare minimum.

You absolutely can provide a strong education and a room for every kid in a safe part of NYC, and for a lot less. It might not be a big room, and private school, in Tribeca, but NYC is a big city and a lot of the posters are incredibly narrow minded in how they imagine a happy life in NYC. I think biglaw expectations, not NYC, may be the problem here.

Please give an example. And if it is living in Jackson Heights and using PS 101 to test into Stuyvesant then that is not “a happy life in NYC”

Name the neighborhoods? Several come to mind: Windsor terrace, ditmas Park, Bay ridge, Astoria, Forest hills, Jackson heights, spuyten duyvil, Riverdale, Woodlawn, Hudson heights, Manor heights. I know people raising families in each of these neighborhoods. I work for NYC and have for more than 20 years (found my way into dcum 22 years ago right out of grad school). My city government colleagues and I are raising families happily in all five boros. You seem to not want to believe this is possible so I don't know what else to tell you.

No corporate attorney making 850k is going to live on Staten Island or the Bronx unless they already have family there. Bay Ridge is a MAGA hotbed and Ditmas Park is difficult socially if you’re not part of the primary religious group (which has formed an admirable community). If you are as far out as Forest Hills then you should just go to Nassau for the schools.

Please tell me you don’t work for the NYC Dept of Education…

Sorry you apparently didn't like my answer.