Peer Pressure to enroll in your IB?

[Anonymous]

Anyone experienced this. Our IB is slowly, very slowly getting better. There is a hard core committed group of parents (most without kids in the school) who do a lot. I recognize that but its starting to feel like real pressure to "Commit to our school"--I even heard another neighbor tell me feels the same pressure. I think the school is fine for PS/PK but has the usual We haven't made up our minds yet but honestly, while I appreciate the work this one person is doing, the intense pressure tactics are really off putting. It makes me dread years of committes/PTA work with this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone experienced this. Our IB is slowly, very slowly getting better. There is a hard core committed group of parents (most without kids in the school) who do a lot. I recognize that but its starting to feel like real pressure to "Commit to our school"--I even heard another neighbor tell me feels the same pressure. I think the school is fine for PS/PK but has the usual We haven't made up our minds yet but honestly, while I appreciate the work this one person is doing, the intense pressure tactics are really off putting. It makes me dread years of committes/PTA work with this person.

It wouldn't be HD Cooke, would it?

[Anonymous]

As a person relatively committed to my IB school, and involved with the PTA, I'd suggest being open and firm on your position. Hopefully, the person is mature enough to take constructive criticism well. I've worked with several parents who either had a plan to split at a certain year, or a preference for another school because it has specialized programs that they want. No hard feelings.

[Anonymous]

sounds like Bruce Monroe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sounds like Bruce Monroe

That's what I was thinking too...

[Anonymous]

Dunno, OP. I'm one of the "core group" people at our IB, and I try really, really hard to stay non-judgmental. If forgoing better opportunities is the price of involvement, people will not want to be involved!

[Anonymous]

Article from last year on this exact subject:

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/citydesk/2014/06/18/why-do-other-parents-care-where-i-send-my-kid-to-school/

[Anonymous]

It is such a personal choice. Encouragement and reassurance of an IB school is one thing, imposing such a big choice on another parent and being judged by it is ridiculous. I agree with firmly saying "thanks for the info, we will make a decision for what's best for our kid and family, and I hope you can respect that."

[Anonymous]

OP, some people are just more comfortable with that kind of thing. Maybe you can think of it as a personality difference. Personally, I try not to seem judgmental, as I think it's ineffective, but it's hard to avoid occasionally ruffling feathers because it's a sensitive issue.

[Anonymous]

I love to tell my neighbors with kids about the number of kids within an X-block radius who will be in the same age group for PK3 lottery year Z. If some parents perceive that as pressure or judgement, it's kind of more their problem than mine. I hope noone is projecting whatever sense of guilt they have onto my words because the thought that they would suck, or I would look down on them in any way if they didn't send their kids to our IB school doesn't even cross my mind.

[Anonymous]

There is definitely a dynamic of segregated schools where parents want to send their kids to a nearby DCPS school, but even normal, well-adjusted middle class people who don't consider themselves racist or elitist worry about their kid being an "only."

People's responses to this should not be "you send your kids now so I can send mine later" or some such thing, but it's a real concern many people have, though don't really publicly proclaim.

[Anonymous]

We left our well-regarded IB school after PK3 because we got in somewhere else that we thought would be a better long-term fit. The reaction of some parents caught me off-guard. Some were completely non-judgmental and some basically stopped talking to us. Even with the non-judgmental ones, you need to be ready that everyone who stays in the IB school is going to be developing stronger relationships with each other over the years and you are naturally not going to be part of that. I think it is harder to leave an IB school than a city-wide one because the IB families are, by definition, your neighbors. And when most of your neighbors send their kids to the school down the street and you don't, it is just natural they will be closer with each other than they will with you, and the same goes for the kids. Of course you and your kids will make new friends at the new school, but there is something special about kids who are neighbors and classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love to tell my neighbors with kids about the number of kids within an X-block radius who will be in the same age group for PK3 lottery year Z. If some parents perceive that as pressure or judgement, it's kind of more their problem than mine. I hope noone is projecting whatever sense of guilt they have onto my words because the thought that they would suck, or I would look down on them in any way if they didn't send their kids to our IB school doesn't even cross my mind.

Van ness?

[Anonymous]

Be very cautious of the parents who don't have kids enrolled yet. I am IB for a school that might turn the corner. One of the most vocal boosters does not have school aged kids yet. I could be wrong- but most of her boosting is coming from fear. To be honest- I don't think she will last long at our IB.
Too her credit she is very non judgy. However- she is desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We left our well-regarded IB school after PK3 because we got in somewhere else that we thought would be a better long-term fit. The reaction of some parents caught me off-guard. Some were completely non-judgmental and some basically stopped talking to us. Even with the non-judgmental ones, you need to be ready that everyone who stays in the IB school is going to be developing stronger relationships with each other over the years and you are naturally not going to be part of that. I think it is harder to leave an IB school than a city-wide one because the IB families are, by definition, your neighbors. And when most of your neighbors send their kids to the school down the street and you don't, it is just natural they will be closer with each other than they will with you, and the same goes for the kids. Of course you and your kids will make new friends at the new school, but there is something special about kids who are neighbors and classmates.

This is a very good point. Please don't take it personally.

The same way that picking another school is the right choice for you / your kids, building stronger relationships with parents at the school is what's right for me / my kids.