Really frustrated with school choices

[Anonymous]

My DC's preschool teachers repeatedly tell me she doesn't need a special needs school, but says that we need a small private school with small classes. Well, we didn't get into any small schools because I think DC's focus issues are obvious on playdates. I feel at a loss -- my DC is an early reader, very perceptive, had made tons of progress on fine and gross motor skills, but really does have difficulty engaging children. And this, along with the focus issues, are a concern to schools on playdates. Any advice. Is public school the way to go? I worry about the large classes being overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Can I ask where you applied? My DC sounds very much the same - we were advised exactly the same....we are on two waiting lists and were just encouraged to look at McLean....we also are weighing our DCPS potential options. Some of the programs are being revamped to try to come up with smaller classrooms. It will take a leap of faith perhaps, but in the end, they have to work with our child. Private schools - its totally optional and they can ask a child to leave at any time.

When I read your post I swear it could have been me writing it - so I understand your frustration and confusion.

[Anonymous]

Wow, so nice to have someone to commiserate with. We applied to Lowell -- first choice and we applied to NPS because they have very small class sizes. What about you? We were looking at Pre-K but for next year I think we will also include McLean, perhaps Green Acres, perhaps Waldorf. What else?

[Anonymous]

We are waitlisted at Lowell.....your list looks pretty good - though I don't know much about Waldorf. If you still want to throw your hat in the ring for pre-k - you might try either Bridges PCS or Two Rivers PCS. I believe registration is still open at both - lotteries in early April. TWo Rivers might be bigger classrooms than you are looking for - but the principal is from Kingsbury.

[Anonymous]

and I meant to say I hear two Rivers is really good for kids with special needs or who need some extra support.

[Anonymous]

I'm another poster who could have written the original post. We all should start our own school! Seriously, this thread has comforted me more than anything else during this week of rejection, rejection, rejection. We got the exact same advice - DC doesn't need a special needs school, but rather a smaller, more intimate school where DC wouldn't fall through the cracks. And we disclosed DC's therapy - as the schools requested - and submitted reports about DC's great progress, but I think just the fact that there were therapy reports scared the private schools away. How ironic that we're doing everything possible to get DC ready for school, but it seems to be those very efforts which turned the schools off of DC. Ugh. Thanks for listening.

[Anonymous]

Curious -- why would Lowell, Green Acres and Waldorf be a natural fit for a child with focus issues? per 20:55, 21:47

In other words, what is the connection between Progressive philosophy and the ability of a particular child to concentrate?

[Anonymous]

Those schools are used to dealing with "quirky" kids, kids in therapy, but with potential and probably have a range of techniques to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

OP we are already in a great preschool and can luckily do one more year there.

[Anonymous]

You know, I recognize what you all are talking about because I went through this same thing when my kids were a little younger. Many of the smaller schools that you look at don't see the value of a kid who isn't actually "learning disabled" or "special needs" but who isn't an alpha dog or is a little socially quirky. I figured out in the trenches that there is a difference between a shy or insecure child and one who doesn't necessarily come by social cues and skills without being taught these things a little more explicitly. I looked at many of the schools around town for my kid, who like yours, seemed at that pre-school time to be a little socially undeveloped or unsure and maybe a little distractable. Green Acres (progressive, yes, but not for every kid -- a child who flounders in an unstructured environment will not fare well over there, for example), Norwood (not very small in reality, with 4 kindergarten classes in the grade and not interested in kids who don't come across as "golden children"), Concord Hill (a nice little boutique place with some great aspects, but I don't think they really seek or appreciate a gifted child who doesn't seem to measure up to their peers in terms of social development or innate social skill). A lot of these places really seem to seek "full package" candidates, but they overlook great assets when they see a social weakness. On the flip side, I found that some of the places that overtly stated that they had social skills as part of their mission were way too "special needs" for our fit. Places like Katherine Thomas, Katherine Maddox, Lab School, they are great at what they do, but they weren't right for my kid, who was otherwise very mainstream, a typical learner, and socially interested, albeit clumsily so. For our family, I felt that the McLean School was the appropriate fit. They have kids there who do have learning issues, so they can address the dyslexic child or the child with dyspraxia or word retrieval issues. But for a kid like mine, who could learn and test like other kids but who couldn't shine socially, they had small classes (I think limited to 12 or 15 in the early grades) with two teachers, a weekly session on pragmatics built into their kindergarten curriculum and what I liked the most, as the school year went forward, they broke up the kindergarten into little "friendship groups" where they made little weekly sessions mixing maybe 5 kids with either a speech pathologist or a school counselor (someone trained in the area of pragmatics) and covered in depth various social areas that don't always come so naturally to little ones. I remember seeing the handouts come home, they addressed things like "what if you get a present you don't like, what do you do", "how do you join a group if you want to play" and "what words do you use to work out a problem with a friend" and from our experience, these skills were generalized in the bigger school environment, reinforced in later years so that it became part of how the children functioned naturally both in and out of their school environment. Quite a nice perk, in addition to a very demanding and tailored academic curriculum, which was a big focus for us as well. I was a little scared to look into McLean because I was frightened by the "word on the street" dynamic that people sometimes perceived it as a "special needs" mecca, but I turned out very fortunate that I went past that, because it has proven to be a wonderful place. A few years after I first walked into McLean, I feel like I can comfortably put my child in any situation for camp or school and they could absolutely handle anything successfully. I know I didn't feel like that when we started here. And I guess, for what it's worth, my kid feels that same change, and that is what I think I pay for. It might be worth your time to take a more in-depth look at McLean, it may prove to be a better fit for you than your other options. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

PP -Thanks for your insights on McLean, as we find ourselves very much in the same situation with our DC as you described you were in when your kids were little. We are going through the application process now and will see how it turns out. I am glad you have had a positive experience there - I have not been able to get a complete feel for the school based on my visits there. What grade(s) do you have children in there? The K program looks great (though strangely, this year's K class is all boys - which I was told was a fluke).
Thanks again.
Does anyone know anything about Harbor in Bethesda or Oasis in Reston?

[Anonymous]

Thanks to a PP who revived this thread. Just curious to posters who applied to regular private schools- What do the schools ask on the application that would lead you to submit your child's testing results, reports from therapies, etc? Don't they simply ask if you child has been evaluated/tested by doctors of therapists for concerns? Did they then ask for therapy reports?

[Anonymous]

Another poster here interested in opinions about the Harbor School...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to a PP who revived this thread. Just curious to posters who applied to regular private schools- What do the schools ask on the application that would lead you to submit your child's testing results, reports from therapies, etc? Don't they simply ask if you child has been evaluated/tested by doctors of therapists for concerns? Did they then ask for therapy reports?

The only school that we applied to that actually asked for reports -all reports - was Sheridan. It also was the only school that asked if the child had ever been evaluated....

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

We applied to over 5 schools, and once they learned from the application that there was therapy, they all asked for the reports.