Support mom in the face of atrocious behavior or not
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Anonymous
| My sis dropped my neice of with my parents this week, so I decided to visit also. My neice is the apple of my moms eye and the sweetest little toddler ever. My dad is a nice guy but sadly after he comes home from work he drinks. Their dinner dynamic is truly shocking. He sits and drinks and orders her to make literally four to five different dishes for dinner. Like, "heat up that pasta" and then "make me an omelette with lightly buttered toast." Times 5 dishes. Tonight at "dinner" my dad finished eating and my mom settled down with neice for story time, which both of them LOVE. Even my jerky dad can see how precious story time is. So when he decided he wasn't actually finished with dinner, he starts ordering ME to produce this food for him. I kind of sensed my moms sadness that he started up again, so I got him his food. My question is, for the time we are in town should I just go along and get along? Or should I refuse to go along with with crappy behavior. My mom has made her bed and must lie in it, but I can just tell him that I'm not going to do it. It will cause strife. My mom will have to abandon her beloved story time with neice if I don't help her out. It is just for a few days wwyd?? |
Anonymous
| truly odd...I have no answers for you. |
Anonymous
| I would lay down the law with my dad. I would not be ordered around, even by my fully able father. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| Humor it for a few days to give your mom a break. |
Anonymous
| Although your Mom made her bed you can give her a much deserved break for the week. I would do it for my mom so she can look back on a pleasant week with her much loved daughter and granddaughter. Otherwise her life sounds pretty miserable. |
Anonymous
| Fwiw I would do it. It's just a couple of days and it's a gift to your mom. There's no point not doing it (unless it will make you feel better, but if that was the case I doubt you'd be writing in). Nothing will change for your dad either way. He'll still get what he wants, but your mom will be out story time. |
Anonymous
|
There is no reasoning with an alcoholic
Your sister should arrange for Grandma-Granddaughter time away/or at a different time. Times with Grandpa are going to have to be thoughtfully managed. I suggest counseling for anyone who will go. |
Anonymous
| Maybe your mom and niece can come to visit at your house. Leave Dad at home with a phone and a delivery menu. |
Anonymous
+1000 Suck it up and do it for your mom's sake. Your mom will still be there to deal with all the dysfunction that is your dad. FWIW, at least you have the gutsiness to know it's wrong and would set your dad straight, if it didn't jeopardize your mom's well being. |
Anonymous
+1 Think of it as your gift to your mom. Your dad is probably at the point where he does not know any differently. |
Anonymous
| Part of me says do it for your mom but part of me says to tell your dad his legs aren't painted on and if he's so hungry to get up and do it himself. I'd probably tell him he can't possibly be hungry and to give it a rest and see what that buys me and go from there. |
Anonymous
| I would not do it for love or money. You both are setting a horrific example for your niece. Fuck story time. |
Anonymous
| "Dad, dinner is over and Mom, Larla, and I are enjoying storytime. Maybe when Larla is in bed, we can fix you a snack, but right now, the kitchen is closed. No one is available to cook for you. There are potato chips and a pan of brownies to tide you over. Mom, please continue with Harry Potter." |
Anonymous
| I would talk to my sister about your father!!! It is not healthy or safe for a child to be around a drunk. What does your mother and niece when you aren't around? |
Anonymous
| Bigger issue is having the child around him. Doesn't seem safe. Dad needs rehab. Mom doesn't have to live like that. |