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Should we move to a less exciting city to be closer to family?
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Anonymous
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My spouse has an opportunity to move to Dallas for a lucrative job opportunity. Although originally from the South, I haven't lived there in years and am concerned about what job I'll do down there (I'm in law) and "fitting in" from a cultural standpoint (I'm a democract, hate football, and consider myself an East Coast liberal). But we'd be living near MY close family, which could be a huge help with DD.... Is it worth the change in lifestyle to be closer to relatives (assuming I like them and that they are helpful)? DD would have a chance to grow up near cousins, too.
It's a great city to raise a family (lower cost of living, easier place to live) but I'm just worried I'll miss being in the East Coast.... I |
Anonymous
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Do you have any family around here? If not, I might go. You will find people like you in Dallas, it is not like you are on a farm.
I think family and giving that to your kid is worth it. And with this job market, a lucrative job offer should be taken. If you are going to have any more kids, I would go. The help is huge, and your kids knowing your fam is priceless. It all depends on your priorities...and that is not a judgement. Get together with your DH and make pros cons list. |
Anonymous
| agree. Also Dallas is a great city you would be surprised. |
Anonymous
| I am the OP. The other thing is that I hate driving. We live in DC right now, but I think eventually, even if we stay in this area, I will have to suck it up and drive more b/c we will have to move out to the subrubs (most likely) in order to be able to get affordable education for DD, good housing, etc. Living in the city right now, I enjoy a lot of aspects of city life (walking around, coffee shops, going to museums) that will probalby become less readilly availble to me anyway if we move to the burbs. So maybe Dallas wouldn't be such a dramatic lifestyle change. |
Anonymous
| I am the OP. what's great about Dallas? |
Anonymous
| I could've written this post a year ago. You sound basically exactly like me. And I'm in law too. We DID relocate to the deep south to be closer to our families, since we had NO support network in DC. I don't think anyone can advise you what to do, I just think you and your hubs need to think long and hard, weigh all the pros and cons. I underestimated HOW difficult it would be to return to a less progressive, less healthy area where we have to drive everywhere. I don't know; I do not regret our decision becuase it IS super nice to be closer to our families, and it's nice to practice law in a smaller area at a slower pace. That said, everything is a slower pace. You should talk to your friends who live there, if you have any who do still live there, and find out what they do for fun on the weekends with their kids and stuff. That might give you some ideas of what life would really be like. I still haven't gotten completely used to living back down here, but I am starting to appreciate the fact that my family spends more time together, that my children will know their cousins, that we can get a babysitter at the drop of a hat, etc., etc. Good luck. I think it's a really hard decision to make. |
Anonymous
| Previous poster here again. I was just thinking more about it all. I guess it comes down to, if you want to be closer to your families, then move, even if it is a trade off. What will be KEY is to find like-minded women that you can relate to, i.e., talk liberal politics if you want, have a larger wolrd view, etc. |
Anonymous
| To 20:07 -- which city / state did you move to? Just curious ... And what did you miss most about living in DC in terms of weekend activities (or in terms of anything else)? |
Anonymous
We moved to Baton Rouge, LA. I miss so many things about DC... the beautiful public spaces, how interesting and engaging most people in DC were, how people were passionate about so many things besides football (!), how there were endless possibilities of things to do on the weekend (even if we never did them), Thai food, the energy of the city, and all my wonderful, wonderful friends. This is kind of making me sad to think about it! BUT, I do not miss not ever having a sitter. We never really went anywhere after our baby was born because we didn't want to leave the little one with a stranger. And, as my husband reminds me, most of our friends are only transient residents of DC anyway, and they will soon be leaving when they have kids (they've already indicated that they would leave). |
Anonymous
What does this mean? I hope you aren't saying that liberal politics=larger world view. Not to digress... On the topic, I would move. Being close to family is so nice. |
Anonymous
| I would do it in a heartbeat. Dallas is so affordable and it is NOT a small town. I am sure you will find people you connect with. |
Anonymous
| I'd move too, OP. There's not substitute for family, esp. if you are close. Your children will be happy to know their cousins. And Dallas is not a backwater. It's not DC, but it's a big place, and there are lots of liberals there. Probably harder to find, but they are certainly there. Go, OP. That's what I'd do. |
Anonymous
Nope, didn't mean to imply that at all--totally separate. |
Anonymous
| If my DH had a job that could support the family and I was able to move to the city where my family lived, I'd do it in a second. I am only two hours away from my family but even that sometimes is too far with everyone's busy schedules. I would love for my kids to know their cousins better and I would love to see my brothers and cousins more often. |
Anonymous
What's so great about Dallas? Isn't it the home of Neiman Marcus? It would be like the mother ship calling me home. 
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