Be honest, how much are you helping with homework/projects?

Anonymous
I help my son (12) type up reports and I look over his math. I help him organize and get ideas for at home projects. I make sure everything is done, I know when he has tests and work on reminding him to study and/or help test him beforehand. Not sure I am doing the right thing, but he is an ADHD kid and I seem to not be able to help doing this. How about you?
Anonymous
My 9 yr old DC is in a gifted program. I will help with ideas for projects if DC is stuck; help with HW if DC asks; help with formatting reports on the word processor. But, I never give DC the quick answer or actually do any of the work myself.

I rely on DC to tell me if everything is done. I don't check it myself. We verbally go through a checklist. If DC lies and didn't complete it, then DC suffers the consequence of a bad grade, and learns a lesson (hopefully).

So far, working out ok.

This reminds me of another thread where someone stated that during college, her room-mate was dictating a paper to the mom on the phone, and she could hear the mom typing away. Just don't let it get that far OP.
Anonymous
I don't help my 12 y.o. DD very much. She loves doing the middle school projects and I take her to the art store to get supplies (last one took three trips). She is pretty much an A student. She is not ADHD, and I'd say, generally speaking, gender might make a difference.

However, anything not school work or sports, she's a complete PITA. Her room looks like a bomb hit and I cannot get her to get her clothes off the floor into the (very close by) hamper for the life of me. Total slob. I have to remind her to bus her dishes to the sink, every day. It's such a bizarre day&night situation.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't help my 12 y.o. DD very much. She loves doing the middle school projects and I take her to the art store to get supplies (last one took three trips). She is pretty much an A student. She is not ADHD, and I'd say, generally speaking, gender might make a difference.

However, anything not school work or sports, she's a complete PITA. Her room looks like a bomb hit and I cannot get her to get her clothes off the floor into the (very close by) hamper for the life of me. Total slob. I have to remind her to bus her dishes to the sink, every day. It's such a bizarre day&night situation.


LOL! Oh well, no child is perfect.
Anonymous
Almost none.

7 and 9.5 year old boys.

Both my boys do it all by themselves.
Anonymous
I helped with some formatting in Word tonight and helped with some unusual punctuation questions. DS is 9. He's quite self sufficient. I do ask each morning "Do you have your lunch and homework folder?" but I only ask it once. I will look over his math, but only because he has a habit of handing it to me to show me that it's done.

DD is in K now and she's a mess. Even 1st grade homework will be ugly with her....
Anonymous
9 yo DD in 4th grade. I help very little.I buy supplies, help her find websites, and remind her to finish when she is procrastinating.
Anonymous
I am blessed with my 9 year old who has strong "executive function skills". I don't need to help this child at all.

My middle schooler with ADHD -- I should be helping more. I don't and the grades (and lost assignments) reflect this fact!

If my second child had been my first, I would have thought I was the best parent!
Anonymous

With ADHD, that's completely par for the course, unfortunately. You want to gradually bring them to independence, but even with a ton of hand-holding, kids with ADHD take longer to mature.

9 year old DC1 has inattentive ADHD, and could not do anything without my help, reminders, break-down of directions, reminders, planning and organizational help, reminders, repeating the same thing 256 times - you get the picture.

4 year old DC2 now reminds DC1 of what he is supposed to be doing. She helped him with his science poster last week!
Anonymous
Dd is 11, and this year I'm having her transition to being on her own with hw and studying. I figure she shouldknow hiw to handle it all on her own before middle school
Anonymous
I don't help my 12 yr old unless she asks. She asks me to quiz her to study for tests sometimes. Earlier this year she had a week with TONS of homework and when I looked at it, a lot was busy work. I did a big chunk of that for her since she already knew it.
Anonymous
Not much at all. 12 year old daughter. She handles all her assignments. Each Friday, I go over our family schedule with her for the week so she knows when we have obligations and can plan to fit her work around them. I buy her supplies when asked. I ask if she needs one of us to quiz her for test prep. I proofread papers for typos.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I help my son (12) type up reports and I look over his math. I help him organize and get ideas for at home projects. I make sure everything is done, I know when he has tests and work on reminding him to study and/or help test him beforehand. Not sure I am doing the right thing, but he is an ADHD kid and I seem to not be able to help doing this. How about you?


You just described me until a few months ago (DS, 6th grade). He now types (i stay n room so he stays focused) and don't correct any work. I leave that for teachers. Draw up a HW checklist. My son loves checking off assignments.

My 9yr girl is pretty much self sufficient. ADHD kids take more effort.
Anonymous
Not much.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't help my 12 yr old unless she asks. She asks me to quiz her to study for tests sometimes. Earlier this year she had a week with TONS of homework and when I looked at it, a lot was busy work. I did a big chunk of that for her since she already knew it.


This is why so many teachers have stopped having kids do projects at home, because they know parents like you do it for them. What do you think you are teaching your child here? Will you also be the mom that types up her paper for her when she is in college because she's so stressed?
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