Girl's weekend in the Caribbean - with baby?

[Anonymous]

So my college roommates and I have been planning a trip to the Caribbean for over a year for our 30th birthdays. DC1 would have been 1.5 by the time of the trip, so I would just leave her with DH. Surprise - I am now preg with #2, who will only be 3 months at the time of the trip. I still really really want to go.

I will be BFing and am not too excited about leaving DH with a 1.5 yr old and a 3 m.o. for an extended weekend. Is it crazy to bring DC2 with me?

Note: I am the only married/mom of my roommate group. I am prepared to stay in if they go out partying (which I kidof think we are too old for anyways). I think its going to be more of a relaxing on the beach-type vacation. Some of them may stay for an entire week, I'd probably only go for the weekend.

Is this a really bad idea?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Leave kids at home. It will suck otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Part of the fun of a girls' weekend is setting aside your role as wife, mother, etc. for a little while and just being one of the girls. You can't do that if you bring your three-month-old. The other thing is, while your first child might have been very portable and able to sleep anywhere at that age (mine was) your second one may not be. Then it won't be fun for anyone. You'll need a break at that point anyway and Dad will probably enjoy some bonding time w/ the baby. I'd say leave the little ones at home, pack up your pump (carry-on, don't check it, I learned that from experience) and enjoy yourself!

[Anonymous]

I'd say, leave the baby. Is there anyone that can come in to help your husband out for the weekend? Mother, MIL, friend? DH can do it but it will be an exhausting weekend for him and any help he could get would be welcome.

Also, I would buy trip insurance just to be safe. PP was right, you don't know the temperment of the baby yet or how the delivery & first few weeks will go. You might decide at 3 months that you just don't want to be away.

But if everything goes well - take the trip & have fun! I have 3 kids under 5 yo. I would kill for a weekend away.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with the PP. If you are able to leave the baby at home, you should. Mabye enlist a mom or dad to help DH so you feel better about it. I'm sure that you could use the break and I imagine that if your friends are single, they might not be too happy about the baby being there. If you did bring the baby, you would need to get your own room. It would not be fair to the others to expect them to share a room with an infant.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't take the kid(s). And 30 year old women who are single and childless are going to go partying! They'll probably feel guilty leaving you behind.

Also, your friends might be annoyed that they have to put up with an infant. They woudn't tell you, probably, but it would probably put a damper on things.

[Anonymous]

One voice of dissent--my dd was a really easy traveler at 3 months, and she was at a good age to be held by other people and to be admired in general. (Less fussy than previously, more happy lying on a mat looking at toys.) So it's possible to do.

BUT, I'd make sure that your friends are OK with it before you make plans to take the baby.

Personally, I couldn't have vacationed without the baby when she was 3 months, so I would have had to take her or stay home myself.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for all the advice.

I will definitely wait to see what kind of baby/sleeper #2 is before I decide and will also check with all the girls going. I would also make sure I had my own room/space so the baby doesnt wake us all up.

I guess I dont know if 30 yr old single/non-parents still party. I haven't "partied" in so long, I wouldnt even know how

I'd just hate to leave a 3 m.o. for so long. I didnt leave #1 for more than 8 hrs until I went back to work at 9 months.

[Anonymous]

I'll be a different voice of dissent, but I probably would pass on the trip. I personally wouldn't be ready to leave my baby behind just three months post-partum and it definitely doesn't seem like the right sort of weekend to bring the baby along. Can the date be moved back by a few months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be a different voice of dissent, but I probably would pass on the trip. I personally wouldn't be ready to leave my baby behind just three months post-partum and it definitely doesn't seem like the right sort of weekend to bring the baby along. Can the date be moved back by a few months?

I totally agree with this.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this, but I would be a little miffed if one of my friends brought her baby. At 3 months old, the baby requires a lot of care and attention and I wouldn't want the focus of the girl's weekend to be on the baby. Sure, I would go along with the idea to have the friend come and stay in a separate room, but still...it is a girl's trip and I would rather be holding a drink than a baby. Plus, how would you feel when everyone is getting ready to go out for dinner and bar hopping and you are left behind. How would you feel that you will be spending most of your trip in your room? If the beach is hot, baby can't stay outside for too long.

I would not go or leave baby at home. I am sure your husband can handle it. Moving the date seems like a good solution if everyone can swing it.

[Anonymous]

1. Personally, at age 30 (no kids), a girl's vacation meant lots of drinking, loud noise, very non-kid friendly behaviour.

2. My cousin-in-law (don't know if this is a real word) did take an infant on a trip to the Caribean. She said it was great because the baby was a great sleeper. I know other friends that - with the support of their fellow vacationers - have brought their babies on girls vacations.

3. I personally wouldn't have done either - taken the baby or gone without a baby. But I also now have zero social life. So maybe there is a lesson to be learned.

Maybe you could approach your friends and say you care concerned about leaving the baby that young and ask if it was possible to either postpone for a couple months or even bring the baby. If they are in the partying mood, my guess is the threat of a baby will make them very eager to postpone : )

[Anonymous]

I'd be worried about the sun. No sunblock for baby until 6 months or so.

[Anonymous]

Although at 3 mo. the baby is so easy to scoop & go, there is a level of attention -everything from diaper changes, to nursing/formula/pumping, to calming down for bedtime, etc.

That sorta stiffles a carefree girls' weekend, doesn't it?

I'm sure your DH can handle 2 kids for 48 hours - let's not forget to give Dad some credit here!

[Anonymous]

OP here -

Thanks for the suggestions. Moving the trip isnt an option as some of the girl's already have their plane tickets. I am just going to wait to see how the baby is before I make any decisions. It will probably mean buying a slightly last minute plane ticket, but there are worse things in the world. If #2 is a good sleeper and easy baby, maybe I'll take it, but if not, the decision is made for me.

I am less concerned with leaving DH alone with 2 kids, than I am about leaving a 2.5-3 month old BF'ed baby home for 3-4 days without me. If i am on vacation and pumping every 3 hrs, thats not much fun either.

I mostly want to make sure I am not ruining the fun for anyone else on the trip. I have no problem staying in or going to sleep early while they go out and party. I have friends who do that now and I have little to no inclination to join them. I remember a bachelorette weekend I went on after I got married and the staying out all night, partying and drinking and flirting just wasnt for me anymore - and that was before kids.

The trip is a full week, so perhaps if I take the baby, I'll just go a few days during the week, instead of the weekend. There's bound to be less partying Mon-Thurs, than Thurs-Sun, so that might work better.

Thanks again