launching young adult-children with aspergers

[Anonymous]

Looking for assistance to help a friend whose young adult daughter is having difficulty launching the nest-- she has trouble with social skills, organizing herself, hygiene, dating, eating nutritious food, etc. She is currently employed and is taking some college classes but has difficulty with many basic life skills. What would be some good resources in moco for her and her family?

[Anonymous]

find a behavioral therapist to work on the basic daily living skills b/f she leaves the nest. this will be much harder after the fact

[Anonymous]

Be willing and open to the fact that she might never leave the nest. I knew an aspie who never left the nest but he worked a steady job and is now retired with a pension to boot!

[Anonymous]

As. Mom of a young adult with a disability, I would say to first of all find a resourxe person who who could assess the girl's life skills and then work with the parents to develop a plan for learning the skills. It would seem to make the most sense to develop the basic skillsK in the home setting. THe girls would be taught and then expected to handle increasing aspects of daily living skills. It would help if she could have a separate space of her own perhaps a bedroom and bath to care for. It may be a very basic list to start and build over time. I do think it is important to impress upon the young woman how her hard work has paid off so far. Set some goals with her with some positive rewards as skills are acquired. I think helping her to develop the appropriate social skills with peers will be key to helping her continue to move forward. Encourage Mom to be willing to work with the girl and remember in this skills area she may well be like a 10 or 11 year old being shown
- how to shower, wash hair etc.
- how to buy her basic clothes
- how to do her laundry
- how to do basic cleaning take such as dusting, vacuuming, changing a bed, cleaning bathroom etc.
- how to cook basic items which could include doing dinner one night a week in time - focus on simple meals she could learn to prepare safely
- how to set up a budget
- how to set up and follow a calendar with work, school, medical, family and social events on it

Just some idea of things she will need to learn in time. Encourage here to invite individuals she might work with or go to school with to her home with Mom guiding on things they might do. Such as renting a movie and ordering favorite food in. See if there are any social programs for young adults with disabilities on her skill level in the area she might join, What about doing some Special Olymics sports training? If it is hard for her to make friends, would she enjoy volunteering with a certain program as that could also help her to develop every day "soft skills"

I would say the fact she has a job is a most important first step and you simply build from there by letting here kow she is an adult living it home now and she will be responsibilities which hopefully in time she will be able to transfer to a more independent living setting.
.

[Anonymous]

OP, what kind of job does the girl have?

[Anonymous]

My mom had worried and worried for a lot of things about me when I left her for college at 18. I lived in school dormitory with 9 other girls and learned to do things on my own since. I had plenty of bad experiences, also learned plenty good ones from other girls. Right now I am half-of-the-earth away from my parent, living my own life, happily.

What I mean to say to OP is that please don't worry too much about your daughter. There are plenty of moments in life that we have to learn by ourselves alone, no one else can really help us. I know it broke my mom's heart to hear about I had food poisoning here or I felt there.

And yes, I was "that" girl - odd one, smart but needs very rigorous schedule for everything, from eating, sleeping, brushing teeth, playing time, etc.. My girls in the dormitory had helped me tremendously. I actually gained weight during living in dormitory. It made my mom raised her hands up to the air and said "I wish I had sent you to school a long time ago!" There was one time she said she wished I were a draw so she could just open the draw, dump a bowl of food in there, close it and be done with meal time

Wish you and your girl good luck and all the best!

[Anonymous]

11:04 again. My mom taught me shopping for food by giving me a small amount of money everyday (she had already calculated what could buy with those) and telling me to brainstorm about what I could buy with those to feed my family 3 meals/day, and the food must be nutritious: must have meat, veggie and starch. I loved that game, it made my head swirled with calculations of choices. Sometimes my family had to eat the same meals 3 days in a row (which I don't mind, picky eater like me didn't really eat anyway). My mom used to say at the last meal that I had perfectly cooked that meal, she would like to try the new recipe the next day. And so to me, that's a new brainstorm again.

I hope this helps. Cheers!

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]As. Mom of a young adult with a disability, I would say to first of all find a resourxe person who who could assess the girl's life skills and then work with the parents to develop a plan for learning the skills. It would seem to make the most sense to develop the basic skillsK in the home setting. THe girls would be taught and then expected to handle increasing aspects of daily living skills. It would help if she could have a separate space of her own perhaps a bedroom and bath to care for. It may be a very basic list to start and build over time. I do think it is important to impress upon the young woman how her hard work has paid off so far. Set some goals with her with some positive rewards as skills are acquired. I think helping her to develop the appropriate social skills with peers will be key to helping her continue to move forward. Encourage Mom to be willing to work with the girl and remember in this skills area she may well be like a 10 or 11 year old being shown
- how to shower, wash hair etc.
- how to buy her basic clothes
- how to do her laundry
- how to do basic cleaning take such as dusting, vacuuming, changing a bed, cleaning bathroom etc.
- how to cook basic items which could include doing dinner one night a week in time - focus on simple meals she could learn to prepare safely
- how to set up a budget
- how to set up and follow a calendar with work, school, medical, family and social events on it

Just some idea of things she will need to learn in time. Encourage here to invite individuals she might work with or go to school with to her home with Mom guiding on things they might do. Such as renting a movie and ordering favorite food in. See if there are any social programs for young adults with disabilities on her skill level in the area she might join, What about doing some Special Olymics sports training? If it is hard for her to make friends, would she enjoy volunteering with a certain program as that could also help her to develop every day "soft skills"

I would say the fact she has a job is a most important first step and you simply build from there by letting here kow she is an adult living it home now and she will be responsibilities which hopefully in time she will be able to transfer to a more independent living setting.
.




Mother of adult aspie here. And what do you do if they just refuse to learn? or take care of themselves? or eat right? or exercise? Or do ANY of the things you mention above and you are also taking care of other SN kids. What then? Her shrink says "our expectations are too high". Her I.Q. is high enough for mensa but she won't get out of bed and initiate anything. What then? And yes she's on meds.

[Anonymous]

behavioral therapist for refusal

[Anonymous]

16:12, could she be depressed? Not wanting to get out of bed and lack of motivation in general is a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

16:26 Seeing a behavioral therapist in college right now for sleep, hygiene and "refusal" issues.

16:32 Already on antidepressants and has been already switch from one brand to another. We're at the max for antidepressants. Next step would be to find yet another new shrink $$$ and go through titrating down and up while taking vyvanse. Not fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:behavioral therapist for refusal

Do you have a good one to recommend?

[Anonymous]

If she is away at college, is she at least passing courses despite personal care issues? If so try to line up the behavioral therapist and perhaps a new evaluation of meds for this summer. Is there any sort of incentive that could be put out there by the behavior therapist and you if she mastered certain skills? Keep a focus on the mental health issues because if the chemical imbalance is still there it is a factor. However, lifestyle habits can also be learned that are bad such as the sleeping in, lack of exercise, and maybe eating choices.

Any chance to also have a sleep study done to possibly see if this is a related issue to sleeping. And to find anyway to get an exercise or fitness trainer/buddy to just get her out and moving a couple of times a week.

Also I do understand that all the suggestions in the world may not help a specific situation. Right now I have a husband who seems to be agitated and into himself with the freedom of retirement, and even with meds, it is going to take him working on the issues to figure it out and move forward. And OP you need to do what is important for your life balance yourself and as a Mom to other child or children, too.