Where to go on first date from online dating?

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I've always thought that the first date from online dating is not really a first date since you don't already know this person. It's more of a meet and greet. It's not like if you asked out someone from work where you know each other and already know there is a connection by the fact that she says yes. In that situation I would say your first meeting is a first date.

So, that said, women, what would you prefer for a first meeting with someone you met online? Many people say coffee or a drink. The problem I have with coffee is that if it's in the middle of the day, I would find it hard to try and flirt in the daylight. It just doesn't seem to be the right setting for a first meeting. OK, so then you either have coffee or a drink in the evening. But when? If all you are having is coffee or a drink, it doesn't make sense to just have that and then not have a meal with it as you are starving. But if you did have a meal, then all of a sudden it has turned into a date. I just know that neither side wants to feel trapped up into something on the first meeting if the chemistry is not there. You don't want to be waiting for your bill in awkward silence while you are waiting to get the hell out of there. Because online dating really is blind dating. Yes, you see their picture and profile, but what is on there and how they really are can be completely different things.

So try to schedule it immediately after work or later in the night after dinner?

[Anonymous]

Lunch. Because nobody has to pay a sitter for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Opencity

[Anonymous]

Drinks and appetizers. Sit at the bar.

[Anonymous]

One guy invited me to walk around a farmer's market with him. It wound up being a great idea. We tasted all these different foods, he bought me some flowers and strawberries, we didn't have to look at each other face to face the whole time since we were walking side by side so it was less intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drinks and appetizers. Sit at the bar.

+1
Dating is going to cost you some money OP. There is no way around that.

[Anonymous]

Immediately after work is my favourite - happy hour, basically. I've stayed as long as 2.5 hours when things have gone well and we've ordered appetizers, and as little as 1 hour when it didn't. You both know you will be going on the date that day, so eat a later/larger lunch if going for drinks/coffee after work will delay your supper to a time later that you're typically accustomed to eating.

Some people prefer 'activity' dates like the poster who mentioned walking around a farmer's market. If you are going to suggest something like that, a farmer's market is a good suggestion as it is public, well-lit, and well-populated. As a woman, I do not like it (and do not accept) when guys suggest going for a hike or something similar on the first date/early dates - it's just not a good idea from a safety standpoint. Don't suggest anything that would have you getting into her car, her getting into yours, or put the two of you alone a significant distance from other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I would find it hard to try and flirt in the daylight.

[b]

I'm sorry but that cracks me up.

[Anonymous]

I think you are over thinking this whole thing way too much.

A "meet and greet?"

I highly disagree.

The first "meeting" as you refer to it as IS a first date whether you would like to admit it or not.

And I see nothing wrong w/that consisting of dining out together in a quiet/public place while getting to know one another.

It doesn't have to be that long.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend (woman) who has been doing a lot of online dating recently, and she much prefers making the first meeting short, usually for coffee. She often does this on weekend afternoons, I think. That way no one is giving up a weekend night and the date can be kept short if neither party is into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend (woman) who has been doing a lot of online dating recently, and she much prefers making the first meeting short, usually for coffee. She often does this on weekend afternoons, I think. That way no one is giving up a weekend night and the date can be kept short if neither party is into it.

+1. That or a quick drink after work.

[Anonymous]

I've had first dates that were a quick lunch and first dates that were a drink at the bar. I'd be open to meeting someone at Starbucks too, or one of those cuter non-chain-y coffee places.

I'm absolutely fine with buying my own food/drinks on dates, so places where you order at a counter (like nando's peri-peri or merzi, etc.) are good for that stuff. And if you're sitting at a bar, you can run separate checks.

(I'm female, but I get that if people are doing lots of first dates, it could get expensive and they don't want to pick up the check all the time.)

[Anonymous]

You find it hard to flirt in daylight? What does that even mean?!
I'm picturing you whipping out a pair of sunglasses when you see a hot woman and want to male a move but for the damn sun ruining everything for you.
To answer your question:
I think the best you can do is drink and apps at the bar. Somehow it's more casual than a sit down dinner but you can eat as much or as little as you want, especially after work when you're hungry

[Anonymous]

If your date isn't worth a dinner, then you haven't spent enough time talking and getting to know them over the phone and/or email before asking them out.

[Anonymous]

give her 3 options

Option 1. lunch at old ebbit
Option 2 dinner at someplace near Verizon center
Option 3 hotel and put room #.

If she picks 3 you know you have a good one until you use her up like the other guys if she picks 1 you have a long road ahead to get to #3 so settle on #2 and hope for the best.