Help me get over my selfish, manipulative ex-boyfriend

Anonymous
I hate him but I'm obsessed with him and go on his Facebook every day and hate all the girls who appear in photos with him. Make me stop.
Anonymous
What else do you like?
Anonymous
First of all, defriend him on Facebook right now. You don't need that in your life.

Secondly I know exactly how you feel. My ex was a terrible person too. Treated me very callously and cheated on me. I still think about him. What I don't do is respond to his texts or reach out. So I allow myself to think, but not reopen the wounds.
Anonymous
I didn't want to un-Friend him on Facebook because it would look like I cared about him and can't handle things like an adult - obviously I do still care about him (and hate him - he is like your ex, PP at 17:38, except he didn't cheat he just did a lot of flirting...a WHOLE LOT of flirting).

I am trying to get involved in everything else in my life, but it's been a year since we broke up and I can't get him out of my head. I have always prided myself on being so independent and look at me now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I didn't want to un-Friend him on Facebook because it would look like I cared about him and can't handle things like an adult - obviously I do still care about him (and hate him - he is like your ex, PP at 17:38, except he didn't cheat he just did a lot of flirting...a WHOLE LOT of flirting).

I am trying to get involved in everything else in my life, but it's been a year since we broke up and I can't get him out of my head. I have always prided myself on being so independent and look at me now.


Defriending him is about your well-being. I stayed friends with an ex that I was with for 6 years. That is different than a few months. You won't ever be friends with this person despite (or due to) the connection you once shared. Rip the bandaid off and don't look back.
Anonymous
Hide him from your newsfeed. He won't know that you did it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hide him from your newsfeed. He won't know that you did it.


While I would agree, she is actively visiting his page. That won't stop until she can mentally block or defriend him.
Anonymous
You need to set a goal and not look. Looking causes you to have the feels, perpetuates the cycle.

"Today I will not look" and do something that is productive for you, take a class, get a hobby. Do something that is like your old independent days.

It will be hard to resist looking, but looking at his facebook, continuing to think about him in a unproductive way, is why you still feel like you do... You can make it stop, when he creeps into your mind actively push it out for something more positive. It takes time but it works. Good luck!!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I didn't want to un-Friend him on Facebook because it would look like I cared about him and can't handle things like an adult - obviously I do still care about him (and hate him - he is like your ex, PP at 17:38, except he didn't cheat he just did a lot of flirting...a WHOLE LOT of flirting).

I am trying to get involved in everything else in my life, but it's been a year since we broke up and I can't get him out of my head. I have always prided myself on being so independent and look at me now.


Well, obviously you do can and obviously you're not handling things like an adult. Stop cyber stalking. It's pathetic. You're better than that. So de-friend him and move on. Buy a vibrator and visualize someone else.
Anonymous
get some self esteem and grow up - best way to move on and forget about him.
Anonymous
Exhibit A: the guy who is selfish and manipulative never has a problem finding women. I rest my case.
Anonymous
What makes you still connect with this guy?

Is he super attractive? Or do you think you are just really lonely?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I didn't want to un-Friend him on Facebook because it would look like I cared about him and can't handle things like an adult - obviously I do still care about him (and hate him - he is like your ex, PP at 17:38, except he didn't cheat he just did a lot of flirting...a WHOLE LOT of flirting).

I am trying to get involved in everything else in my life, but it's been a year since we broke up and I can't get him out of my head. I have always prided myself on being so independent and look at me now.


Well, this is about the most un-adult comment on the page.

I'm guessing that you're relatively young. I don't understand this current social media culture where people feel like they need to remain cyber-connected to EX's. You're broken up. Un-friend him and move on. That's actually the adult thing to do, as opposed to childish games of "who's more butt hurt than who."

Sheesh.
Anonymous
De-friend him and start dating. The latter I suspect is your real problem. Cyber stalking the ex is usually the cause of a drought in your love life, not actually missing that person.
Anonymous
Make a list of all the things you hate about him or that annoyed you. All the reasons he is a bad fit. All the reasons you are better off without him.

Then, every time you want to cyber stalk him, read the list.
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