How do you ask a friend about college admissions?

[Anonymous]

I have several friends (not super close) with HS seniors and am wondering what is the most polite way to ask. Or whether I should just keep mum. Please help!

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is polite to ask.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is impolite to ask something like, "so how's the college application process going?" Or if you're not sure if Jr. is going to college, "So what are Jr.'s plans for next year?" Someone can easily tailor their answer to say as much or as little as they like.

[Anonymous]

What are Larla's plans after Hs graduation?

[Anonymous]

Just try and keep it to yourself. Senior year of hs is stressful for everyone, the kids, their parents....just wait and see

[Anonymous]

why od you care? they are not close friends, you are just snooping and being nosey. grow up already.

[Anonymous]

OP, know what your reasons are. And be honest with yourself. If it's just curiosity than I do not think it is appropriate, and not welcome. If you know them well enough and are good enough friends, it will come up in normal conversation. If you want to know in order to learn something re: the college process (you have younger kids going thru high school), then you have a good reasons to - consider - asking carefully. You might say, "Sue, I'd really welcome some advice on the college process if that was something you wouldn't mind me asking about". It's probably flattering and it's been such an intense experience for most families that they welcome talking and sharing. Now I know not everyone goes to college, you have to know the likelihood of that. You could just ask for advice for when they graduate high school.

[Anonymous]

Our high school publishes it in the school paper, the last issue - a list of where the graduates (self reported) are going. They usually have participation by 2/3 or 3/4 of the class. And sometimes student's plans change before Fall.
Parents are very interested in it. I don't think it's to know where molly up the street is going, but it is to know how many students are going to which level of competitive schools. It's info gathering. And of course scatter grams, if available. Again, not student specific but anonymous data points.

[Anonymous]

You don't.

[Anonymous]

Got a deal with a friend - we will tell each other where our kids decide to go when the kids have made their decision. No blow by blow updates.

[Anonymous]

Regular admission decisions will be coming out at the end of March/beginning of April, so you shouldn't ask anything until after that. And if you do, say something general, like "Has Larla decided what she's going to do in the fall?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just try and keep it to yourself. Senior year of hs is stressful for everyone, the kids, their parents....just wait and see

This. After May 1st when college deposits are due, people will be more inclined to talk about it. For many people these next few weeks are super stressful and not all colleges have released decisions.

[Anonymous]

I don't ask. I figure they'll tell me when they're ready to announce.

[Anonymous]

I think it's totally fine to ask a parent of a college freshman for advice on the college admissions game, and let them tell you what they want (e.g. don't ask "where did he apply?" or "where did he get in?", but right now is not the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just try and keep it to yourself. Senior year of hs is stressful for everyone, the kids, their parents....just wait and see

This. After May 1st when college deposits are due, people will be more inclined to talk about it. For many people these next few weeks are super stressful and not all colleges have released decisions.

Some kids will be on waitlists and more stressed out than ever.