Sister's divorce - can she do anything?

[Anonymous]

My poor sister just called me crying about her latest court appearance for her divorce. Her jackass ex is refusing to EVERYTHING, even the maintenance he is required by law to pay. He is deliberately refusing to agree to cause this to take longer and cause my sister to have to pay more and more for her attorney. He makes twice as much as her but she is paying for everything for the three kids. Today's latest was that his own attorney fired him, and so now he has another 21 days to find new counsel and thus everything is delayed longer. I am guessing there's not much more she can do except ask that he is ordered to pay her attorneys' fees? I feel awful for her. It's bad enough going through this even when the parties agree.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, how awful.

It would be great if she could show some kind of obstruction and he would have to pay ALL attorneys' fees.

Does she have enough money to continue like this? He's probably going to cave at some point, but it might be a long year, and then if anything needs to be changed in the future, he might go obstructive again. Better get the paperwork done right the first time.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how she could show obstruction, though? Basically he pretends to agree to most of it, and then when they go to court, he states he never agreed to anything. She really cannot afford to keep going, even though my parents are helping. She's been reduced to asking friends to pay her utility bills and car repairs.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to hang in there. It'll be over soon. My friend's ex pulled this shit. Just stay strong. She prevailed in the end and got him to pay her attorney fees. Judges don't like jackasses.

[Anonymous]

His attorney fired him because it's not an ethical position for an attorney to maintain. Her attorney should file an emergency petition for maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His attorney fired him because it's not an ethical position for an attorney to maintain. Her attorney should file an emergency petition for maintenance.

How is it not ethical? I'm just wondering.

I think he actually is paying her something as temporary maintenance for the kids. But he's not paying anything for her, and he refuses to sign the paperwork that states he will have to pay her maintenance, and he's refusing to agree to the part that states what is legally required to pay for the kids. It's horrible, actually, because the kids are in one sport each and of course, there are costs for that that he won't pay. I am telling her to stay strong but it's really hard, you know? To see your bank account getting lower and lower and not seeing an end to it, and having no one to vent to. I feel awful for her.

[Anonymous]

Pretending to be in agreement and then refusing when you get to court just to prolong proceedings is not a tenable position for an attorney. It's not ethical to do this again and again just to screw the other party over.

[Anonymous]

Ah, okay. I understand now. I can't believe that the court allows this to go on. Let's say he gets another attorney and that one also fires him. Won't this just keep getting continued? It seems incredible one person can do this.

[Anonymous]

Her friends are paying utility bills yet she is still funding expensive sports for the kids? Yeah no. The kids will have to find cheaper sports till the dad starts ponying up.

[Anonymous]

Expensive sports?? They are in soccer and basketball in the Midwest, not polo and crew in Fairfield County.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His attorney fired him because it's not an ethical position for an attorney to maintain. Her attorney should file an emergency petition for maintenance.

How is it not ethical? I'm just wondering.

I think he actually is paying her something as temporary maintenance for the kids. But he's not paying anything for her, and he refuses to sign the paperwork that states he will have to pay her maintenance, and he's refusing to agree to the part that states what is legally required to pay for the kids. It's horrible, actually, because the kids are in one sport each and of course, there are costs for that that he won't pay. I am telling her to stay strong but it's really hard, you know? To see your bank account getting lower and lower and not seeing an end to it, and having no one to vent to. I feel awful for her.

This is all he is required to do now. He is not required to "pay her maintenance."

[Anonymous]

I know he isn't required to pay her maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know he isn't required to pay her maintenance.

Do you? Well, that's not clear. In your first post, you said he wasn't paying the maintenance that he's required to pay. You said sister is paying for everything for kids and that he makes twice as much as her, which indicates she is making a salary. Then later you said that he was paying child support, but not spousal support. Your tone suggests that he SHOULD be.

[Anonymous]

My point in saying all of that is that she is attempting to maintain a semblance of their lifestyle for their kids on half the salary, so she doesn't have a lot of extra cash to pay for months and months of attorneys' bills simply because the father of her kids is such a lowlife. Yes, I know he is not legally required to pay her anything now except the kids' maintenance. But if her ex would agree to this settlement, which is very fair according to his and her attorneys, then she would be getting a decent amount of money and wouldn't be under such financial and mental stress.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and sorry, I did misspeak when I said she is paying for everything and he isn't. I was upset because I'd just hung up with her. What I meant was she's paying for everything extra outside of the absolute minimum that he is required to pay. It's just not sustainable, and he knows it, and so he is refusing to move forward in the hopes that she can't take it any more and she gives in.