husband texts while driving DD

[Anonymous]

This is a typical example of why I look forward to being divorced from this man. He believes there is something that makes him special and therefore able and most importantly ENTITLED to text while driving. If you tell him that bad things happen when people text and drive, he gets this stupid "yeah whatever you dont control me" look. We are recently separated, and I cringe every time I found out from 8 year old DD that he has been texting AGAIN. Say anything to him about it and he flies off the handle, or says he isnt, or whatever. IN fact, once DD said it was dangerous and he said "YOUR MOM DOESNT CONTROL ME".

He is glued to his stupid phone. Constantly on facebook, constantly messaging. I dont know what to do to make it stop. I hope he gets into an accident while texting without our daughter in the car. But I am terrified that he will kill our kid with his stupid need to be free from control.

I had an idea to get a tracker for his car, then track his cell phone texts (I have full account control and in fact could maybe just shut off texting for him, but then he would derail mentally and take it out on our child) but then what would I be able to do with this "evidence"? Can I bring it to the cops? I somehow doubt it.

Its very scary that he takes this stance about being controlled, when in fact it was he who was abusive towards me. There was not one aspect of his life that I controlled except those things about which he was always purposefully helpless, like doing the books, managing the money, etc.

Ive never taken advantage of this "control" I could have over his phone- but I seriously could cut off his texting. But Im afraid of his reaction.

Anyone have any ideas here?

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong, but you do sound very controlling.

Also, being divorced from him won't stop him from driving his child around.

Again, you're not wrong here. At all. But the way you're going about trying to see the error of his ways DOES smack of stridency and controlling tendencies. I mean, really, track his movements and texts? REALLY?!

[Anonymous]

She doesn't sound controlling to me, it sounds like she wants to get some evidence so an authority can stop his illegal behavior.

OP, maybe call the police (non emergency) andlet them know you saw him texting and driving and his tag number? Maybe a ticket will help to curb the behavior, and he won't know you had anything to do with it.
If he texts and drives as much as you say, he should be easy to catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't sound controlling to me, it sounds like she wants to get some evidence so an authority can stop his illegal behavior.

OP, maybe call the police (non emergency) andlet them know you saw him texting and driving and his tag number? Maybe a ticket will help to curb the behavior, and he won't know you had anything to do with it.
If he texts and drives as much as you say, he should be easy to catch.

There's more going on here than has been shared. She sounds like a nag and scold. But if she's "afraid" of how he would react, he may be dangerous.

That said, he shouldn't be texting and driving for sure. But if it''s just looking at the phone at intersections (which IS illegal), that's different than typing a message while going 70 mph on the Beltway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't sound controlling to me, it sounds like she wants to get some evidence so an authority can stop his illegal behavior.

OP, maybe call the police (non emergency) andlet them know you saw him texting and driving and his tag number? Maybe a ticket will help to curb the behavior, and he won't know you had anything to do with it.
If he texts and drives as much as you say, he should be easy to catch.

There's more going on here than has been shared. She sounds like a nag and scold. But if she's "afraid" of how he would react, he may be dangerous.

That said, he shouldn't be texting and driving for sure. But if it''s just looking at the phone at intersections (which IS illegal), that's different than typing a message while going 70 mph on the Beltway.

I completely agree with you on that.

[Anonymous]

everyone texts while driving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:everyone texts while driving

Excuse me???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:everyone texts while driving

Excuse me???

And post on dcum.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you need to realize that the behaviors that bother you about you STBX are not going to go away when you divorce him. He's still going to text and drive and whatever else he does that bugs you. You will waste a lot of time and energy trying to control him the way you are and you will also waste a lot of time and energy being angry about it as well.

I agree that texting and driving is dangerous and I also agree that there's a difference between checking when stopped at a light and actively texting while driving. You are not going to be able to change this behavior. It's just not going to happen. You can try to reduce the amount of time that your kid will be in the car with him, but at this point, you need to make peace with reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not wrong, but you do sound very controlling.

Also, being divorced from him won't stop him from driving his child around.

Again, you're not wrong here. At all. But the way you're going about trying to see the error of his ways DOES smack of stridency and controlling tendencies. I mean, really, track his movements and texts? REALLY?!

This

[Anonymous]

Wow, all the divorced guys found this thread in a hurry.

OP, call your local precinct or ask your divorce attorney if you have options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all the divorced guys found this thread in a hurry.

OP, call your local precinct or ask your divorce attorney if you have options.

I'm happily married. Still think the OP is carrying on in a controlling fashion. Her concern is valid; her tone and demeanor are counterproductive. My guess is she's controlling in many aspects of her life and in her relationship -- a man who makes a remark to their child like he did is driven to that out of exasperation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all the divorced guys found this thread in a hurry.

OP, call your local precinct or ask your divorce attorney if you have options.

I'm happily married. Still think the OP is carrying on in a controlling fashion. Her concern is valid; her tone and demeanor are counterproductive. My guess is she's controlling in many aspects of her life and in her relationship -- a man who makes a remark to their child like he did is driven to that out of exasperation.

A man who makes a remark like that to his CHILD is an inappropriate a$$hole, and a man who texts while driving is a serious danger to her. You men and your hangups about being "controlled." Ridiculous that that's the priority over that little girl's welfare. Just pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all the divorced guys found this thread in a hurry.

OP, call your local precinct or ask your divorce attorney if you have options.

I'm happily married. Still think the OP is carrying on in a controlling fashion. Her concern is valid; her tone and demeanor are counterproductive. My guess is she's controlling in many aspects of her life and in her relationship -- a man who makes a remark to their child like he did is driven to that out of exasperation.

A man who makes a remark like that to his CHILD is an inappropriate a$$hole, and a man who texts while driving is a serious danger to her. You men and your hangups about being "controlled." Ridiculous that that's the priority over that little girl's welfare. Just pathetic.

Keep talking, OP. The more you do, the more we understand your husband's contempt for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all the divorced guys found this thread in a hurry.

OP, call your local precinct or ask your divorce attorney if you have options.

I'm happily married. Still think the OP is carrying on in a controlling fashion. Her concern is valid; her tone and demeanor are counterproductive. My guess is she's controlling in many aspects of her life and in her relationship -- a man who makes a remark to their child like he did is driven to that out of exasperation.

A man who makes a remark like that to his CHILD is an inappropriate a$$hole, and a man who texts while driving is a serious danger to her. You men and your hangups about being "controlled." Ridiculous that that's the priority over that little girl's welfare. Just pathetic.

Keep talking, OP. The more you do, the more we understand your husband's contempt for you.

What makes you think that's the OP?