Lessons learned so far: 2024-2025

[Anonymous]

Maybe your kid needs the nice normal friends she’s going to make at college!

Or maybe not. And you are just making your life harder than it needs to be in the last gasp of keeping up with the Joneses. Since travel soccer ended and then what’s left but college acceptance water cooler talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

+1

My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid only applied to schools ranked 70-120+. They got into every single school, many of them with excellent merit (privates). Why? Because they didn't really have any reaches. Heck most were not targets even...most had acceptance rates over 65% and my kid was at/above 50% for everything. The one ranked 130+ where my kid was at/above the 85% gave my kid 75% of tuition for all 4 years. My kid chose between two very similar schools ranked around 80 that gave them ~35-40% of tuition.
I helped manage the process myself. My kid wasn't stressed, my kid was happy. They didn't belong at a T50 school, they would have struggled and been miserable. Instead they are 3 years out, doing very well at the job they started with a great company 2 weeks after graduation. They graduated college with a 3.5+ gpa and had a job starting right after graduation. That's the goal. They are "flown" and living 2K from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

Nope. Not stressful for us at all.
Kids were interesting and passionate about their own things, though. We required our HS students to join and participate (actively) in 2 clubs in HS (starting freshman year - didn't care what it was) and their sport (at least 1). Kids did that.

Starting winter of junior year, started pulling together connections between all activities. A little forethought into 1-2 week summer programs prior but nothing "major". Kids did what they loved. Their "application narrative" was natural and not forced based entirely on what they did (you can do that too).

The older kid is at Ivy in RD (after a T10 deferral and rejection).
Younger kid (current senior) - committed to that T10 (accepted in RD) after a T20 deferral and later RD acceptance.
Private feeder HS likely helped.

Colleges can tell when a kid has an overly planned (and stressful) HS life. And when they aren't doing what they "love".
Neither kid had any of these things that are talked about here:
(1) university-level research (though both had their independent homegrown (small but interesting) projects),
(2) pay-to-play summer programs in their applications,
(3) patents or
(4) founded non-profits (though both volunteered for 4+ years at tiny pre-existing (different) nonprofits with local concentrated reach).

Kid 1 had several real jobs and was often the employee of the month.
Kid 2 had long-term national-level individual achievement in sports.

That is a lot of money and effort that went into this! LOL

Why do you say that (I'm DP)? They expected their kids to play one sport (and stick with it thru HS) and have 2 other activities--kids got to choose. Most college educated parents expect that---or allow you to eliminate a club/activity if you work a job more. Those activities can all be done for free at the HS. The most "$$" they spent was likely for the 1-2 week summer activities to support their interests. And most likely that did not make a difference in their college apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

+1

My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid only applied to schools ranked 70-120+. They got into every single school, many of them with excellent merit (privates). Why? Because they didn't really have any reaches. Heck most were not targets even...most had acceptance rates over 65% and my kid was at/above 50% for everything. The one ranked 130+ where my kid was at/above the 85% gave my kid 75% of tuition for all 4 years. My kid chose between two very similar schools ranked around 80 that gave them ~35-40% of tuition.
I helped manage the process myself. My kid wasn't stressed, my kid was happy. They didn't belong at a T50 school, they would have struggled and been miserable. Instead they are 3 years out, doing very well at the job they started with a great company 2 weeks after graduation. They graduated college with a 3.5+ gpa and had a job starting right after graduation. That's the goal. They are "flown" and living 2K from home.

The only thing I disagree with is the narrative that your kid would have struggled at a higher ranked school. Nope. Colleges that are elite want everyone to graduate in four years and our experience is they are not harder and usually offer more help. Even Harvard is now offering remedial math. Your kid should have tried to include a reach and if admitted would have done fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

Nope. Not stressful for us at all.
Kids were interesting and passionate about their own things, though. We required our HS students to join and participate (actively) in 2 clubs in HS (starting freshman year - didn't care what it was) and their sport (at least 1). Kids did that.

Starting winter of junior year, started pulling together connections between all activities. A little forethought into 1-2 week summer programs prior but nothing "major". Kids did what they loved. Their "application narrative" was natural and not forced based entirely on what they did (you can do that too).

The older kid is at Ivy in RD (after a T10 deferral and rejection).
Younger kid (current senior) - committed to that T10 (accepted in RD) after a T20 deferral and later RD acceptance.
Private feeder HS likely helped.

Colleges can tell when a kid has an overly planned (and stressful) HS life. And when they aren't doing what they "love".
Neither kid had any of these things that are talked about here:
(1) university-level research (though both had their independent homegrown (small but interesting) projects),
(2) pay-to-play summer programs in their applications,
(3) patents or
(4) founded non-profits (though both volunteered for 4+ years at tiny pre-existing (different) nonprofits with local concentrated reach).

Kid 1 had several real jobs and was often the employee of the month.
Kid 2 had long-term national-level individual achievement in sports.

That is a lot of money and effort that went into this! LOL

Why do you say that (I'm DP)? They expected their kids to play one sport (and stick with it thru HS) and have 2 other activities--kids got to choose. Most college educated parents expect that---or allow you to eliminate a club/activity if you work a job more. Those activities can all be done for free at the HS. The most "$$" they spent was likely for the 1-2 week summer activities to support their interests. And most likely that did not make a difference in their college apps.

Agree. A lot less $$$ than usually is spent on curating a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an admitted events day at a HYPSM. A parent was asking the tour guide (a senior student at the university) how difficult it is to get an A, if the professors provide study guides, if the seniors help with past exam questions, etc. as her child is "an average kid, not the brightest but not very bad either". That child was admitted to 4 of HYPSM's - except MIT.

That is the parent of a child destined to burn and crash as soon as mommy and daddy aren't there to manage everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

+1

My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid only applied to schools ranked 70-120+. They got into every single school, many of them with excellent merit (privates). Why? Because they didn't really have any reaches. Heck most were not targets even...most had acceptance rates over 65% and my kid was at/above 50% for everything. The one ranked 130+ where my kid was at/above the 85% gave my kid 75% of tuition for all 4 years. My kid chose between two very similar schools ranked around 80 that gave them ~35-40% of tuition.
I helped manage the process myself. My kid wasn't stressed, my kid was happy. They didn't belong at a T50 school, they would have struggled and been miserable. Instead they are 3 years out, doing very well at the job they started with a great company 2 weeks after graduation. They graduated college with a 3.5+ gpa and had a job starting right after graduation. That's the goal. They are "flown" and living 2K from home.

This is great to hear. Your kid went to a great school, is getting an excellent education and having a great life experience prior to entering 40 years of the grind. Good for them!

[Anonymous]

Being realistic about target, safety and reaches. My kid got into all targets and safeties and 1 out of 3 reaches.

My kid was very realistic about the schools applied to and was happy with the outcome.

[Anonymous]

One thing I would do differently: pay more attention to where DC's classmates are applying, especially the recruited athletes and alumni/ big donor/ child-of-someone famous kids.

I didn't think to ask, and the college counselors might not have told us if I had, but other kids and parents seemed to know. In retrospect, we could have saved time, money, and emotional energy had I done more homework on this aspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing I would do differently: pay more attention to where DC's classmates are applying, especially the recruited athletes and alumni/ big donor/ child-of-someone famous kids.

I didn't think to ask, and the college counselors might not have told us if I had, but other kids and parents seemed to know. In retrospect, we could have saved time, money, and emotional energy had I done more homework on this aspect.

Did it make a difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

+1

My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid only applied to schools ranked 70-120+. They got into every single school, many of them with excellent merit (privates). Why? Because they didn't really have any reaches. Heck most were not targets even...most had acceptance rates over 65% and my kid was at/above 50% for everything. The one ranked 130+ where my kid was at/above the 85% gave my kid 75% of tuition for all 4 years. My kid chose between two very similar schools ranked around 80 that gave them ~35-40% of tuition.
I helped manage the process myself. My kid wasn't stressed, my kid was happy. They didn't belong at a T50 school, they would have struggled and been miserable. Instead they are 3 years out, doing very well at the job they started with a great company 2 weeks after graduation. They graduated college with a 3.5+ gpa and had a job starting right after graduation. That's the goal. They are "flown" and living 2K from home.

The only thing I disagree with is the narrative that your kid would have struggled at a higher ranked school. Nope. Colleges that are elite want everyone to graduate in four years and our experience is they are not harder and usually offer more help. Even Harvard is now offering remedial math. Your kid should have tried to include a reach and if admitted would have done fine.

Or they would have been discouraged being one of the weaker students at the school, lost confidence, not had has much faculty support or opportunities as they would at a school where they stand out more.

For some kids a reach school is not the right choice. And, if need-based aid isn't going to bring the cost down to what you can afford (what you think you can afford and what the college thinks are not the same), you may be financially better off at the safety with good merit. This is why my kids' only reach schools were in -state publics -- UVA for one (didn't get in) and W&M for the other (waitlist with Spring start option). Nether applied for these ED because, despite some people's "must go to a reach" attitude, they really weren't their first choice schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

+1

My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid only applied to schools ranked 70-120+. They got into every single school, many of them with excellent merit (privates). Why? Because they didn't really have any reaches. Heck most were not targets even...most had acceptance rates over 65% and my kid was at/above 50% for everything. The one ranked 130+ where my kid was at/above the 85% gave my kid 75% of tuition for all 4 years. My kid chose between two very similar schools ranked around 80 that gave them ~35-40% of tuition.
I helped manage the process myself. My kid wasn't stressed, my kid was happy. They didn't belong at a T50 school, they would have struggled and been miserable. Instead they are 3 years out, doing very well at the job they started with a great company 2 weeks after graduation. They graduated college with a 3.5+ gpa and had a job starting right after graduation. That's the goal. They are "flown" and living 2K from home.

This is so encouraging, mainly because these are my 2026 kid’s stats. Mind sharing the names of some of these schools that accepted them or gave merit? By the sounds of it they were HS class of 2018 or before and things have changed a bit, but it gives me hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing I would do differently: pay more attention to where DC's classmates are applying, especially the recruited athletes and alumni/ big donor/ child-of-someone famous kids.

I didn't think to ask, and the college counselors might not have told us if I had, but other kids and parents seemed to know. In retrospect, we could have saved time, money, and emotional energy had I done more homework on this aspect.

Did it make a difference?

Yes, I believe so. DC, from a very small high school, was rejected at a SLAC where two recruited athletes from their school had already committed. DC was accepted at other SLACs with similar (or more stringent) admissions standards, so it's likely they would have at least been in the running had no classmates been already recruited as athletes. But there's no way such a small school was going to accept many/ any additional unhooked applicants from the same small high school . . . .

DC wasn't ever completely in love with the school (though might have loved it on accepted students' day!). Had I realized that recruited athletes already nailed down two slots, I would have advised redirecting attention and application fees.

That said, DC was accepted at another wonderful school! So might have not made a difference in the end but paying when rejection is so highly likely is something I would have tried harder to avoid

[Anonymous]

Do the visits. Visit as many schools as possible that are at the top of the list and build in time to meet with clubs, etc if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

+1

My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid only applied to schools ranked 70-120+. They got into every single school, many of them with excellent merit (privates). Why? Because they didn't really have any reaches. Heck most were not targets even...most had acceptance rates over 65% and my kid was at/above 50% for everything. The one ranked 130+ where my kid was at/above the 85% gave my kid 75% of tuition for all 4 years. My kid chose between two very similar schools ranked around 80 that gave them ~35-40% of tuition.
I helped manage the process myself. My kid wasn't stressed, my kid was happy. They didn't belong at a T50 school, they would have struggled and been miserable. Instead they are 3 years out, doing very well at the job they started with a great company 2 weeks after graduation. They graduated college with a 3.5+ gpa and had a job starting right after graduation. That's the goal. They are "flown" and living 2K from home.

This is so encouraging, mainly because these are my 2026 kid’s stats. Mind sharing the names of some of these schools that accepted them or gave merit? By the sounds of it they were HS class of 2018 or before and things have changed a bit, but it gives me hope.

You just have to be reasonable. If you are worried about merit then you can not apply to a reach school. My friend has a kid that got into a couple of great schools without merit but they aren't options because of the cost. And some schools have reputations for not giving merit (Indiana and Penn State for example). Accept that and move on. I also think that you need to be open minded about picking a major. Most he applied to the business school. Two he applied to other majors. Why? We knew he wasn't getting into the school as a business major. We discussed the alternative majors and whether he was ok with it. One was Economics and the other was sports management. We also pointed out that you can always minor in business.

My kid was like yours. You will get into a lot of schools if you are reasonable.