Yes, we love our families. But: Petty Vents 2022

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

Do you put them in the dishwasher the second they finish a glass so they have to get a different cup next time? My mom does that when we visit and it drives us crazy to get new glasses just for a refill of water every time. We've started just bringing large water bottles.

Not the PP, but same. We just carry our water bottles around their house now. My kids are used to using them from school, but it feels odd to me to be using a refillable water bottle inside their house. Beats having to get a new glass every 20 minutes or so, though.

Hahaha my MIL does this as well, including when she visits us. "I noticed that (water) glass has been sitting on the table for 2 hours, do you know who it belongs to or should I put it away?" I think it's because my FIL is scattered and she spends her whole life clearing up his shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is hosting the dinner and I was to bring my sweet potato casserole and cranberry orange bread. Fist she drops off an aluminum pan for me to use because it would be easy clean up. (I was planning on using a pretty casserole pan) Ok, then she called me yesterday to tell me not to make it because she has a lot of food and doesn’t want it(I had already purchased all the ingredients, so now I have to return everything) Now she is going on about my bread, it’s not important because it’s sweet. I’m about to lose it because she is so bossy and needs to control every little detail. Help.

You don’t have to return anything. You can make those items for yourself—I’m sure they are delicious!

Plus, you can’t return food items. Bizarre that you’d even consider returning food!

Go to Costco the day after a big holiday and watch what people return. I was behind a woman with a shopping cart full of frozen foods she didn't use for a party. She probably returned 20 or so big boxes of various appetizers.

This is trashy and pathetic behavior, similar to those who wear clothes to an event and then return them.

It's not trashy or pathetic. I want to retire young, so I will definitely return food items if they aren't used. And I also will return clothes after wearing them once and they don't look right or won't be useful again. It's smart.

Exactly. I don't have the funds to spend hundreds on a dress that I can only wear once bc the rest. Of the ladies will comment if I wear it again to some other party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

So? This is so petty, Just wash them or run the dishwasher more.

NP
It's hard when you aren't a dish scatterer. I'm not going around looking for dishes because we keep them in the kitchen (or leave them there). I found a glass of lemonade in the bathroom. Whyyyyyy? I will run the dishwasher twice a day, no problem. But I don't have all the dishes when it's run. That's frustrating. Also, saw someone use all our butter knives in one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is hosting the dinner and I was to bring my sweet potato casserole and cranberry orange bread. Fist she drops off an aluminum pan for me to use because it would be easy clean up. (I was planning on using a pretty casserole pan) Ok, then she called me yesterday to tell me not to make it because she has a lot of food and doesn’t want it(I had already purchased all the ingredients, so now I have to return everything) Now she is going on about my bread, it’s not important because it’s sweet. I’m about to lose it because she is so bossy and needs to control every little detail. Help.

You don’t have to return anything. You can make those items for yourself—I’m sure they are delicious!

Plus, you can’t return food items. Bizarre that you’d even consider returning food!

Go to Costco the day after a big holiday and watch what people return. I was behind a woman with a shopping cart full of frozen foods she didn't use for a party. She probably returned 20 or so big boxes of various appetizers.

This is trashy and pathetic behavior, similar to those who wear clothes to an event and then return them.

It's not trashy or pathetic. I want to retire young, so I will definitely return food items if they aren't used. And I also will return clothes after wearing them once and they don't look right or won't be useful again. It's smart.

Exactly. I don't have the funds to spend hundreds on a dress that I can only wear once bc the rest. Of the ladies will comment if I wear it again to some other party

Then RENT A DRESS instead of being a pathetic thief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is hosting the dinner and I was to bring my sweet potato casserole and cranberry orange bread. Fist she drops off an aluminum pan for me to use because it would be easy clean up. (I was planning on using a pretty casserole pan) Ok, then she called me yesterday to tell me not to make it because she has a lot of food and doesn’t want it(I had already purchased all the ingredients, so now I have to return everything) Now she is going on about my bread, it’s not important because it’s sweet. I’m about to lose it because she is so bossy and needs to control every little detail. Help.

You don’t have to return anything. You can make those items for yourself—I’m sure they are delicious!

Plus, you can’t return food items. Bizarre that you’d even consider returning food!

Go to Costco the day after a big holiday and watch what people return. I was behind a woman with a shopping cart full of frozen foods she didn't use for a party. She probably returned 20 or so big boxes of various appetizers.

This is trashy and pathetic behavior, similar to those who wear clothes to an event and then return them.

It's not trashy or pathetic. I want to retire young, so I will definitely return food items if they aren't used. And I also will return clothes after wearing them once and they don't look right or won't be useful again. It's smart.

Omg, you are my MIL. She literally says "they" were able to retire early (not that she really worked, had a hobby job for maybe 5 years total) because she saved soo much over the years being smart not buying Starbucks or whatever... nevermind that FIL actually retired the second they inherited the family $$. Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is hosting the dinner and I was to bring my sweet potato casserole and cranberry orange bread. Fist she drops off an aluminum pan for me to use because it would be easy clean up. (I was planning on using a pretty casserole pan) Ok, then she called me yesterday to tell me not to make it because she has a lot of food and doesn’t want it(I had already purchased all the ingredients, so now I have to return everything) Now she is going on about my bread, it’s not important because it’s sweet. I’m about to lose it because she is so bossy and needs to control every little detail. Help.

You don’t have to return anything. You can make those items for yourself—I’m sure they are delicious!

Plus, you can’t return food items. Bizarre that you’d even consider returning food!

Go to Costco the day after a big holiday and watch what people return. I was behind a woman with a shopping cart full of frozen foods she didn't use for a party. She probably returned 20 or so big boxes of various appetizers.

This is trashy and pathetic behavior, similar to those who wear clothes to an event and then return them.

It's not trashy or pathetic. I want to retire young, so I will definitely return food items if they aren't used. And I also will return clothes after wearing them once and they don't look right or won't be useful again. It's smart.

Exactly. I don't have the funds to spend hundreds on a dress that I can only wear once bc the rest. Of the ladies will comment if I wear it again to some other party

Then RENT A DRESS instead of being a pathetic thief.

+1 or buy a dress you can afford - doesn't have to cost "hundreds"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs (MIL, three BILs, SIL, niece and nephew) stayed with us for a week. They are overall lovely people but I have so many vents now. It will be a while before I sign up for hosting them all for an extended period of time again.

The biggest thing is that they never miss a chance to make some comment about how our house is small despite being expensive, or we don't have a real yard, or asking pointedly if we plan to move somewhere else for better "quality of life" (yes my BIL asked us this). They all live in various exurbs in California and Florida (with the exception of one BIL who is military and lives on a base). I feel like I bit my tongue for a week not to be like "for me quality of life means avoiding depressing places like where you live."

It's just different priorities/preferences, but they can't fathom that we actually chose our old house in NWDC over the possibility of a 5000sf McMansion and don't get that it's rude to be openly incredulous about it.

Why can't you say this? Even to nice people it's Ok to say "I know it's small but we love city life. The tradeoff is so worth it for us." And to your inlaws who are criticizing you, it would be completely understandable to say the bolded above. I mean, if they're dishing out little dogs at your house, they should expect to get something back.

PP here. It will just cause conflict and I'd rather have them talk sh*t about my house than talk sh*t about me, haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

Do you put them in the dishwasher the second they finish a glass so they have to get a different cup next time? My mom does that when we visit and it drives us crazy to get new glasses just for a refill of water every time. We've started just bringing large water bottles.

Not the PP, but same. We just carry our water bottles around their house now. My kids are used to using them from school, but it feels odd to me to be using a refillable water bottle inside their house. Beats having to get a new glass every 20 minutes or so, though.

Hahaha my MIL does this as well, including when she visits us. "I noticed that (water) glass has been sitting on the table for 2 hours, do you know who it belongs to or should I put it away?" I think it's because my FIL is scattered and she spends her whole life clearing up his shit.

I am the water glass snatching person haha. Only when there's a lot of people in the house! Our glasses all look the same and I know everyone is going to lose track, and if I don't put them in the dishwasher they will just sit on the kitchen island/throughout the house for days while people take new clean ones from the cupboard, until there are no more clean ones left and then people start drinking out of coffee mugs and wine glasses and it's madness

So I just grab every unattended water glass I see and put it in the dishwasher. It's the only way. But I know the ILs probably make fun of me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

Do you put them in the dishwasher the second they finish a glass so they have to get a different cup next time? My mom does that when we visit and it drives us crazy to get new glasses just for a refill of water every time. We've started just bringing large water bottles.

Not the PP, but same. We just carry our water bottles around their house now. My kids are used to using them from school, but it feels odd to me to be using a refillable water bottle inside their house. Beats having to get a new glass every 20 minutes or so, though.

Hahaha my MIL does this as well, including when she visits us. "I noticed that (water) glass has been sitting on the table for 2 hours, do you know who it belongs to or should I put it away?" I think it's because my FIL is scattered and she spends her whole life clearing up his shit.

I am the water glass snatching person haha. Only when there's a lot of people in the house! Our glasses all look the same and I know everyone is going to lose track, and if I don't put them in the dishwasher they will just sit on the kitchen island/throughout the house for days while people take new clean ones from the cupboard, until there are no more clean ones left and then people start drinking out of coffee mugs and wine glasses and it's madness

So I just grab every unattended water glass I see and put it in the dishwasher. It's the only way. But I know the ILs probably make fun of me

Ugh, it's so annoying. I put a scrunchie around mine at my ILs and will put a note by it that I will be coming back to this water cup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

Do you put them in the dishwasher the second they finish a glass so they have to get a different cup next time? My mom does that when we visit and it drives us crazy to get new glasses just for a refill of water every time. We've started just bringing large water bottles.

No, I am never that on-the-ball when it comes to cleaning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

Do you put them in the dishwasher the second they finish a glass so they have to get a different cup next time? My mom does that when we visit and it drives us crazy to get new glasses just for a refill of water every time. We've started just bringing large water bottles.

Not the PP, but same. We just carry our water bottles around their house now. My kids are used to using them from school, but it feels odd to me to be using a refillable water bottle inside their house. Beats having to get a new glass every 20 minutes or so, though.

Hahaha my MIL does this as well, including when she visits us. "I noticed that (water) glass has been sitting on the table for 2 hours, do you know who it belongs to or should I put it away?" I think it's because my FIL is scattered and she spends her whole life clearing up his shit.

I am the water glass snatching person haha. Only when there's a lot of people in the house! Our glasses all look the same and I know everyone is going to lose track, and if I don't put them in the dishwasher they will just sit on the kitchen island/throughout the house for days while people take new clean ones from the cupboard, until there are no more clean ones left and then people start drinking out of coffee mugs and wine glasses and it's madness

So I just grab every unattended water glass I see and put it in the dishwasher. It's the only way. But I know the ILs probably make fun of me

Ha, this is my complaint and I learned to stash water glasses I did not want cleared in the room where I was sleeping. Which seems like a crazy work-around, but I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore my parents, and I’m so glad they could stay with us for almost 2 weeks, but OMG, they each used about a million glasses/mugs every day and left them scattered all over the house. They don’t do this at their own house!

Do you put them in the dishwasher the second they finish a glass so they have to get a different cup next time? My mom does that when we visit and it drives us crazy to get new glasses just for a refill of water every time. We've started just bringing large water bottles.

Np. My mom does this too! She's been known to give someone a glass of water and take it back before the guest even had a sip. It's the craziest thing.

[Anonymous]

I’m finally getting around to me petty vent. My parents “hosted”. I ended up cooking the entire meal by myself (my mom spent 2 hours online shopping, my sister helped with the kids but the spent the rest of the time sitting on the couch on her phone, and I’m not sure what my dad was doing). My husband came down the day of thanksgiving (parents live 6 hrs away and we came down a few days before). Everyone was dressed in their thanksgiving dress, on the couch and I was in the kitchen still in my sweats cooking.

After dinner was 2 hrs late, I cleaned and washed all the dishes.

And yes, I did use my words. Multiple times I said can you help woth X, I still need to take a shower. It all fell on deaf ears. At one point I asked my sister if she could finish the dishes when I was putting the kids to sleep. I came back out and she was still on her phone and a single dish hadn’t been washed.
The reason for the 2 hr delay in dinner, my mom had said she was going to make it and then I guess decided not to and didn’t tell anyone. I saw the time and realized nothing had been done and did everything.
The cherry on top, was when my dad came in the kitchen, he had just taken a shower and gotten dressed and said “don’t forget the corn” right after I said I still need to take a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m finally getting around to me petty vent. My parents “hosted”. I ended up cooking the entire meal by myself (my mom spent 2 hours online shopping, my sister helped with the kids but the spent the rest of the time sitting on the couch on her phone, and I’m not sure what my dad was doing). My husband came down the day of thanksgiving (parents live 6 hrs away and we came down a few days before). Everyone was dressed in their thanksgiving dress, on the couch and I was in the kitchen still in my sweats cooking.

After dinner was 2 hrs late, I cleaned and washed all the dishes.

And yes, I did use my words. Multiple times I said can you help woth X, I still need to take a shower. It all fell on deaf ears. At one point I asked my sister if she could finish the dishes when I was putting the kids to sleep. I came back out and she was still on her phone and a single dish hadn’t been washed.
The reason for the 2 hr delay in dinner, my mom had said she was going to make it and then I guess decided not to and didn’t tell anyone. I saw the time and realized nothing had been done and did everything.
The cherry on top, was when my dad came in the kitchen, he had just taken a shower and gotten dressed and said “don’t forget the corn” right after I said I still need to take a shower.

That’s not even petty, that’s just unfair to you. I would book a vacation for next thanksgiving already.

[Anonymous]

"I went out to Target and bought a few sets of pillowcases that I said I’d be happy to leave with her or take home with me..."

Buy or bring your own pillows, too. That way, the shams can stay intact.