DS 15 and dieting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love bread, but do not think anything is wrong with not eating it. Sounds like he is being careful but not extreme. One thing - do you know he is eating at work for sure? That is an easy way to hide extreme dieting from parents. Tell them you are eating big meals at work.

+1

Don’t assume he is definitely eating at work. Watch what he eats on the other days of the week. If his “big meals” are always out of your sight, that is a huge red flag.

Agree. I would have read this post last year and wondered what the issue was because salad and lean proteins sound healthy. After watching my niece struggle with a serious case of anorexia, I will never again be dismissive if I hear of a kid suddenly and significantly changing their eating habits. As others have said, it may be fine but please carefully keep an eye on him and note any red flags. Eating disorders are really devastating to kids and their loved ones.

This is exactly why I brought it up, that he is doing some limiting of these items. I even said, it might be fine and nothing to worry about, but... however, the antigluten brigade must rip anyone apart for mentioning bread and pasta restrictions. My whole point was that limiting foods is a sign. Might be nothing, might be something. Notice how some people are "my kids hate bread, but eat pizza." But, that is much different than refuses to eat this or that food. OP might know better than us, it was just a suggestion to watch for it.
OP brought this up, hence something in her mind pointed to this as a bit of an issue.

[Anonymous]

The kid is overweight and wants to exercise and eat better, yet OP is worrying about body dysmorphia? Really?

THAT, sounds crazy to me... more than those who don't care for pasta or bread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love bread, but do not think anything is wrong with not eating it. Sounds like he is being careful but not extreme. One thing - do you know he is eating at work for sure? That is an easy way to hide extreme dieting from parents. Tell them you are eating big meals at work.

+1

Don’t assume he is definitely eating at work. Watch what he eats on the other days of the week. If his “big meals” are always out of your sight, that is a huge red flag.

Agree. I would have read this post last year and wondered what the issue was because salad and lean proteins sound healthy. After watching my niece struggle with a serious case of anorexia, I will never again be dismissive if I hear of a kid suddenly and significantly changing their eating habits. As others have said, it may be fine but please carefully keep an eye on him and note any red flags. Eating disorders are really devastating to kids and their loved ones.

This is exactly why I brought it up, that he is doing some limiting of these items. I even said, it might be fine and nothing to worry about, but... however, the antigluten brigade must rip anyone apart for mentioning bread and pasta restrictions. My whole point was that limiting foods is a sign. Might be nothing, might be something. Notice how some people are "my kids hate bread, but eat pizza." But, that is much different than refuses to eat this or that food. OP might know better than us, it was just a suggestion to watch for it.
OP brought this up, hence something in her mind pointed to this as a bit of an issue.

Yes, I think people are not understanding why OP may be concerned, but she knows her kid and we don’t. 6’1” and 170 is not an overweight kid. If he’s unhappy with a height and weight most boys his age would be thrilled to have achieved, I think it’s a very reasonable cause for concern, putting aside the other red flags. TikTok plus the pandemic has caused a lot of anxiety for a lot of kids.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. He's not overweight. He is athletic and strong looking but has love handles. At a basketball game he was playing in this weekend, the ref was joking around with him and called him, "big guy". Afterward, he told me he interpreted that as being called fat. That is not normal. Thanks for all your comments, I'm staying on top of this.

[Anonymous]

Why not just do exercises that focus on the love handles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love bread, but do not think anything is wrong with not eating it. Sounds like he is being careful but not extreme. One thing - do you know he is eating at work for sure? That is an easy way to hide extreme dieting from parents. Tell them you are eating big meals at work.

+1

Don’t assume he is definitely eating at work. Watch what he eats on the other days of the week. If his “big meals” are always out of your sight, that is a huge red flag.

Agree. I would have read this post last year and wondered what the issue was because salad and lean proteins sound healthy. After watching my niece struggle with a serious case of anorexia, I will never again be dismissive if I hear of a kid suddenly and significantly changing their eating habits. As others have said, it may be fine but please carefully keep an eye on him and note any red flags. Eating disorders are really devastating to kids and their loved ones.

+1. My DS developed disordered eating in late high school, eventually teetering on the brink of anorexia. We got treatment for him, which was very helpful and he eventually returned to a healthier weight. But at 25, he still has some anxiety around food that makes me sad. I wish I had realized much earlier how much he was restricting so we could have intervened dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love bread, but do not think anything is wrong with not eating it. Sounds like he is being careful but not extreme. One thing - do you know he is eating at work for sure? That is an easy way to hide extreme dieting from parents. Tell them you are eating big meals at work.

+1

Don’t assume he is definitely eating at work. Watch what he eats on the other days of the week. If his “big meals” are always out of your sight, that is a huge red flag.

Agree. I would have read this post last year and wondered what the issue was because salad and lean proteins sound healthy. After watching my niece struggle with a serious case of anorexia, I will never again be dismissive if I hear of a kid suddenly and significantly changing their eating habits. As others have said, it may be fine but please carefully keep an eye on him and note any red flags. Eating disorders are really devastating to kids and their loved ones.

+1. My DS developed disordered eating in late high school, eventually teetering on the brink of anorexia. We got treatment for him, which was very helpful and he eventually returned to a healthier weight. But at 25, he still has some anxiety around food that makes me sad. I wish I had realized much earlier how much he was restricting so we could have intervened dinner.

*sooner, not dinner lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't sound like a diet to me - it sounds like a healthy lifestyle. Rice is one of the best carbs to eat. Tell him also that oatmeal and potatoes are great low cal/high carb/high satiety foods to eat.

No, it's not a "healthy lifestyle" when you eliminate whole categories of food from your diet (absent a medical reason). It's an indicator of disordered eating.

What whole category of food is it that you think he eliminated? Just because someone doesn't eat pasta or bread doesn't mean they are eliminating a category. Rice an potatoes are a more nutritious option--the closer to the original format a food is, the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He's not overweight. He is athletic and strong looking but has love handles. At a basketball game he was playing in this weekend, the ref was joking around with him and called him, "big guy". Afterward, he told me he interpreted that as being called fat. That is not normal. Thanks for all your comments, I'm staying on top of this.

Your son is right to interpreted as being called fat. Same a being called "big girl". So it is normal he interprets it that way.

Not sure what level of Basketball he plays but most kids in competitive basketball are fit.

Love handles are definitely a side effect of excess body fat.

I would make an appointment with a trainer at the gym and have him do a BMI test. It could help him understand ideal body weight and reach a goal. He would most likely listen to an expert before he listens to you also.

Still, wanting to eat better and exercising has nothing to do with body dysmorphia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't sound like a diet to me - it sounds like a healthy lifestyle. Rice is one of the best carbs to eat. Tell him also that oatmeal and potatoes are great low cal/high carb/high satiety foods to eat.

No, it's not a "healthy lifestyle" when you eliminate whole categories of food from your diet (absent a medical reason). It's an indicator of disordered eating.

What whole category of food is it that you think he eliminated? Just because someone doesn't eat pasta or bread doesn't mean they are eliminating a category. Rice an potatoes are a more nutritious option--the closer to the original format a food is, the better.

It's exactly what it means. Pasta is a category of food. Bread is a category of food.

[Anonymous]

Using his stats and age gives a BMI of

22.4
Normal BMI
Healthy weight for the height: 134.2 lbs - 188.8 lbs

The ref was commenting on him being "big" think if someone called you "big girl?" Protein and veg are healthy. The biggest impact on his appearance would be body recomp. Maybe get him some personal trainer sessions so he learns to lift in a healthy way. Shifting to more muscle is highly correlated with health and longevity. Sounds like he is building some good habits.

The ref was an asshat, but making a complaint might not be great if DS is continuing the sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We only eat breadin France, or French territories, like Martinique (for example)" is what I come to DCUM for.

+1

Instant DCUM classic!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He's not overweight. He is athletic and strong looking but has love handles. At a basketball game he was playing in this weekend, the ref was joking around with him and called him, "big guy". Afterward, he told me he interpreted that as being called fat. That is not normal. Thanks for all your comments, I'm staying on top of this.

Your son is right to interpreted as being called fat. Same a being called "big girl". So it is normal he interprets it that way.

Not sure what level of Basketball he plays but most kids in competitive basketball are fit.

Love handles are definitely a side effect of excess body fat.

I would make an appointment with a trainer at the gym and have him do a BMI test. It could help him understand ideal body weight and reach a goal. He would most likely listen to an expert before he listens to you also.

Still, wanting to eat better and exercising has nothing to do with body dysmorphia.

This is warped and unhealthy. Please ignore this, op. Your son dies not need to meet with a trainer or get a BMI test. Trust your instincts.

[Anonymous]

As another parent of a kid with an eating disorder (anorexia) those who haven’t dealt with it are dismissive and don’t know what it is. Even our pediatrician was just anxious and unhelpful. If you son is displaying anxiety, restricting, obsessions or compulsions around food, worth checking out With real professionals - find someone who does FBT and Maudsley methods - only evidence based approaches. And check out. About up to 15% of teens have a genetic predisposition to an ED that can be triggered. Dodder t than Other typical eating problems. Anorexics and blue ice can be any weight - despite pop culture understanding https://www.feast-ed.org/ and How to Help Your Team With an Eating Disorder by Lock and I forget the other author.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As another parent of a kid with an eating disorder (anorexia) those who haven’t dealt with it are dismissive and don’t know what it is. Even our pediatrician was just anxious and unhelpful. If you son is displaying anxiety, restricting, obsessions or compulsions around food, worth checking out With real professionals - find someone who does FBT and Maudsley methods - only evidence based approaches. And check out. About up to 15% of teens have a genetic predisposition to an ED that can be triggered. Dodder t than Other typical eating problems. Anorexics and blue ice can be any weight - despite pop culture understanding https://www.feast-ed.org/ and How to Help Your Team With an Eating Disorder by Lock and I forget the other author.

Sorry for all the weird auto correct typos. Point being there is a continuum of eating issues - some normative and some not. Worth figuring out if you’re in the not category (including some that are real mental illnesses) and some teens harm
Themselves in their processes of trying to be fit (this can be overlapping) - and the sooner the better before things get settled in