Is it odd or normal to bring along friends when visiting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

You’re asking us if it’s normal to bring along friends? Why?

They’re asking YOU. And you are saying yes. So clearly, it’s normal and acceptable to YOU, dingbat. Because if it wasn’t, you’d say no.

Did you really just call me a dingbat? LOL who are you and what's your issue? I have trouble imagining there are people who behave like you in real life.

Gee, oh my, someone’s asking me if they can bring a guest, and I say yes, and then they do, and I’m uncomfortable. Oh my, I feel faint, whatever shall I do the next time they ask?

NP-I don't think you'll probably ever worry about being in a situation where anyone would want to bring a guest to be in your nasty company since you're rude AF.

I’m fine with weeding out hapless whiners from my circle. I don’t have time for mealy-mouthed ninnies, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping by for a visit in the afternoon type visit I could roll with. If meals or staying the night is involved then noooooo.

Usually these visits are very last minute, so not always a meal but sometimes yes, a meal. And no, no overnights.

You're lucky. My family is a more the merrier type and overnights are just fine. Fortunately, it works for all of us. But, I do think we are odd. And it goes this way on both sides of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? I think under 30 and if not married with kids, this isn’t odd at all. Over 30 or married and with kids, odd, but still welcome. One more person isn’t an imposition

Over 30, married with kids.

So the spouse and kids don’t come and the cousin does but with a different friend each time?

I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe everyone’s busy and s/he needs to get away or really enjoys talking with you. Is there a really good connection or fun time when they come?

[Anonymous]

I accompanied an older person to a birthday event and the older person asked first.

It’s odd not to be asked first.

It’s odd to do it all the time.

I try not to do that at all if going to someone’s house. I may ask permission if we are meeting somewhere else and a friend is in town or something like that.

[Anonymous]

You said they are extroverted, you are introverted. They probably feel like they get there and there is no conversation and it's awkward. So they bring people so that it isn't the two of you staring at each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

You’re asking us if it’s normal to bring along friends? Why?

They’re asking YOU. And you are saying yes. So clearly, it’s normal and acceptable to YOU, dingbat. Because if it wasn’t, you’d say no.

Did you really just call me a dingbat? LOL who are you and what's your issue? I have trouble imagining there are people who behave like you in real life.

Gee, oh my, someone’s asking me if they can bring a guest, and I say yes, and then they do, and I’m uncomfortable. Oh my, I feel faint, whatever shall I do the next time they ask?

NP-I don't think you'll probably ever worry about being in a situation where anyone would want to bring a guest to be in your nasty company since you're rude AF.

I’m fine with weeding out hapless whiners from my circle. I don’t have time for mealy-mouthed ninnies, thanks.

With all your obvious charm, I’m sure you have lots of people begging to be in your company. 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly they crave company all the time and don't do well unless they're surrounded. It would be nice if they warned you ahead of time to expect X number of people, but it's not "odd" once you understand they can't help themselves in this regard. What's not appropriate is to show up for an actual meal with unplanned guests, like a PP said. Then you need to tell them not to do this again.

They always ask me in advance if it's ok to bring them along for the visit, usually the day before or the morning of.

Well, this person clearly understands that you are a "more the merrier" person just like them. That's what you've been telling them all along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said they are extroverted, you are introverted. They probably feel like they get there and there is no conversation and it's awkward. So they bring people so that it isn't the two of you staring at each other.

But if visits were awkward and OP wasn’t a good conversationalist, then why go on these last minute road trips to visit in the first place? I can’t imagine this is reason. I don’t think it has to with OP being good company because they must enjoy
OP. And OP says their home and location are not reason enough.

OP, just ask them because now inquiring minds want to know

Hey cuz, why do you bring a different person with you all the time? Just curious, what’s up with that, do you not like the drive by yourself or something?

[Anonymous]

It is rude and I would b
telling her to stop.

[Anonymous]

My sister does this. At first I was a bit taken aback, but then she explained that many of her friends are like family to her, so it didn’t feel weird to invite them to family events.

And honestly, I realized I do this too, except I’m usually the one hosting. If I ever find out someone is alone for thanksgiving, I invite them to ours, same for other holidays. So my family is often told at the last minute, so and so is joining us tonight. I think at first my mom was a little unhappy with the last minute changes, but she rolls with it now.

We host/entertain all the time, and with small kids is never formal and often multiple families, so it really is the more the merrier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who when visiting, often brings along friends - sometimes just a couple friends, sometimes an entire family, etc. I'm always a little put off by the imposition even though I never show it - I would like to be welcoming and easy-going and "the more the merrier". But I guess I also have always just thought it kind of odd.

But now, I'm thinking.... IS IT ACTUALLY ODD? I realize my perspective might be screwed up. Growing up, I was a latchkey child and I wasn't really allowed to have friends over or to go over to see friends, and I never knew how unusual that was until I was an adult. I had friends over about maybe once a year and only when I was 17/18. And my family member always had a friend over, or was always at a friend's house - like every single day.

Also we have opposite personalities - my family member is very extroverted, a people person, and I am more on the introverted side.

So is the habit of bringing along friends when visiting normal or strange?

Ha! Fred Lawler! Yes, it’s odd, but we’re all used to him now.

[Anonymous]

After it happened once - - why didn't you say something?

It's on you, Op, if you've let this continue. Why would you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister does this. At first I was a bit taken aback, but then she explained that many of her friends are like family to her, so it didn’t feel weird to invite them to family events.

And honestly, I realized I do this too, except I’m usually the one hosting. If I ever find out someone is alone for thanksgiving, I invite them to ours, same for other holidays. So my family is often told at the last minute, so and so is joining us tonight. I think at first my mom was a little unhappy with the last minute changes, but she rolls with it now.

We host/entertain all the time, and with small kids is never formal and often multiple families, so it really is the more the merrier.

I’m often alone (well not all alone, but with small children) for holidays and I love friends like you. It is very nice to be inclusive