How many times per week/month are you okay with your spouse going out?

[Anonymous]

For those whose spouses go out frequently:

- which dance clubs/bars in DC do they typically visit? Also, how late (or early) do they stay out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s OK for the spouse to go out to bars without me.

It’s about trust.

At a certain age, going out to bars is just kind of gross. Middle aged spouses at bars without their spouses is really gross.

But then we'd never had the tv show Cheers if everyone followed your logic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7/31. I don't parent my spouse.

But does your spouse parent? My issue would be being home alone with the kids.

This is ridiculous. You can’t be home alone with kids? Many women (including married working women) do most of the parenting home alone with kids.

That’s obnoxious though. Why would you want that? So your kids think dads get to do whatever they want and moms just deal w it and pick up the slack?

[Anonymous]

So I assume he is finding, hiring, and scheduling a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

After this Covid year? Every damn night, please. And he can stay out for all I care. So tired of him sitting at home and Amazon shopping.

[Anonymous]

The more the better. He’s an angry a hole. But Unf has no friends or hobbies so started doing more work dinners. Fine with me and the kids! He’s either a sleeping zombie when home or totally out of it or angry at us that he made a mistake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7/31. I don't parent my spouse.

But does your spouse parent? My issue would be being home alone with the kids.

This is ridiculous. You can’t be home alone with kids? Many women (including married working women) do most of the parenting home alone with kids.

That’s obnoxious though. Why would you want that? So your kids think dads get to do whatever they want and moms just deal w it and pick up the slack?

+1. I told him once that if he couldn’t make it home, then the kids and I would come out to the bar and join him. Somehow, he was able to finish up whatever very important thing that was keeping him there and make it home.

[Anonymous]

I’m not really okay with him going out to the bar with work colleagues without me.
He’s a handsome doctor, and a lot of the people going out are single or divorced. I trust my husband not to seek out opportunities to cheat, but I don’t think I need to present him with one. He’s a good guy, but he’s not a saint.

[Anonymous]

One full day of golfing a week, late night out with friends maybe 2-3 times a month. I rarely, if ever, request that my husband stay home but this is pretty much his schedule. No issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not really okay with him going out to the bar with work colleagues without me.
He’s a handsome doctor, and a lot of the people going out are single or divorced. I trust my husband not to seek out opportunities to cheat, but I don’t think I need to present him with one. He’s a good guy, but he’s not a saint.

smart. good guy doesn't necessarily mean smart decision maker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7/31. I don't parent my spouse.

But does your spouse parent? My issue would be being home alone with the kids.

This is ridiculous. You can’t be home alone with kids? Many women (including married working women) do most of the parenting home alone with kids.

That’s obnoxious though. Why would you want that? So your kids think dads get to do whatever they want and moms just deal w it and pick up the slack?

This is not always the case. I’m with the kids when he goes out, he’s with them when I do. Neither of us has issues parenting our kids without help. Isn’t this kind of the bare minimum for a parent to know how to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s OK for the spouse to go out to bars without me.

It’s about trust.

At a certain age, going out to bars is just kind of gross. Middle aged spouses at bars without their spouses is really gross.

But then we'd never had the tv show Cheers if everyone followed your logic!

What? In what world? I’m 30 so maybe things will change but I regularly get drinks with my girlfriends and no spouses. My mom even goes out for a glass of wine with her friends occasionally. I dont ffind this gross at all. Not every bar is a dive, lots of nice cocktail and wine bars in any city where you can grab a drink and meet with a friend...

[Anonymous]

Depends on what you mean by going "out"? I go out to dinner with my friends every once in a while but my DH doesn't really do that. He goes mountain biking with a few friends on Sunday mornings.

[Anonymous]

Pre-covid he was out 3 nights a week for his hobby and then guys' trips a few weekends a year. He also traveled a lot for work. I found out that he was having an affair during this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7/31. I don't parent my spouse.

But does your spouse parent? My issue would be being home alone with the kids.

This is ridiculous. You can’t be home alone with kids? Many women (including married working women) do most of the parenting home alone with kids.

That’s obnoxious though. Why would you want that? So your kids think dads get to do whatever they want and moms just deal w it and pick up the slack?

This is not always the case. I’m with the kids when he goes out, he’s with them when I do. Neither of us has issues parenting our kids without help. Isn’t this kind of the bare minimum for a parent to know how to do?

How is your husband with the kids when you go out if he is out himself 7 days a week?