Would you charge your parents rent to live in in-law suite?

[Anonymous]

My parents charged me rent to live with them after college for a year. They also charge my grandma rent to live with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might not be a bad idea for your parents to pay you rent. If you anticipate they may need a nursing home in the future, it would be a way to “spend down” their assets in case they would need to apply for Medicaid. I would check with an elder care attorney first, but I have heard of people doing this.

Yes, exactly this. I would charge them rent and just save the money for them.

THIS THIS THIS. So many horror stories on some Caregiving FB groups of mistakes that were made not anticipating future issues or need to move to assisted living, nursing or memory care. No one wants to move their loved ones there if they can take care of them at home. So they think they will always be able to take care of them. But things change and suddenly they have too much money for assistance, but not enough to get into some place.

Talk with an elder care attorney first.

When my FIL lived with us, we took $300/mo and set it aside. I was forced savings for him. We were able to help out with his car repairs when he needed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I only bought the house to accommodate them, needed the money to pay the mortgage, and they had an adequate retirement fund.

I bought a house specifically with an in-law suite so I could accommodate them. Would have spent less if I didn’t need to buy a house with that. They pretty much only live on social security and I would be cooking and buying food for them. They would not help out at all (kids out of house, they don’t clean).

I don’t need the money to pay the mortgage at all. I was thinking more because they are not living with my sibling instead (even part-time) because sibling’s spouse hates them. So it’s like my sibling is making out like a bandit not to have increased utility and food costs, not to mention inconvenience. I could ask sibling to pay for half of those costs maybe? I don’t want resentment because I get along with everyone right now, but I could see I would be resentful that I was the only one bearing the burden.

Maybe the parents should stay in their own home with you and your sibling contributing monthly for their expenses. This way you each share the costs of helping your parents without resentment building on your end. I agree that the sibling should help, but they’re not obligated.

[Anonymous]

I would charge "rent" & put it in an account for the future. If down the road, mom/sibling screw you over you won't feel so taken advantage of. I am 1 of 4. Mom complained money was "tight" so I would give her $300-400 EVERY mo for over 10 years, after Dad died.( PLUS cash gifts or bought her major appliances for Mother's Day, b-day, or because something broke). After she died, I found out she took my name off as a co-beneficiary on Dad's 401 k & then gave me a 10% of the "estate". (with the other 3 siblings getting 90% & my children getting nothing if I had passed). I had no idea she would do such a thing. I felt I loved my mom & didn't want her to worry (& I am NOT a wealthy person) . Apparently, she felt because I had more than my siblings, she justified her her actions to my siblings. (who never gave her any financial help). The real problem was that my spouse was unhappy with my decision all of those 10 years . I fought with my spouse and my mother (& my siblings, who knew everything) screwed me over.

[Anonymous]

Probably. I imagine utilities would go up at least $100 a month and they'd want to eat my meals every night too. My parents are well off though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope my kids are raised better than to ask this question. You should be ashamed.

Why? My parents charged me rent during summers that I lived at home (at an internship not making much) and I had a whole list of chores and nights that I was signed up to cook dinner.

[Anonymous]

No, if they are moving in because they don’t have much money to live independently, then you should not charge. But do ask your sister to pitch in.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. No. Would never cross my mind.

[Anonymous]

Only if it helped some particular tax or estate planning function. For example, they want to transfer money to us but are already at the annual gift limit.

[Anonymous]

No, never!

[Anonymous]

No, I wouldn't. But that's because I would be able to afford it.

I can think of many reasons why perhaps it could be helpful or a good idea to have them contribute in some way (many already covered here):
- transfer their wealth in a non-taxed way
- allow them to feel like they're not just free-loading, preserve their sense of autonomy and adult functionality
- put that money into a reserve fund for emergencies they may face
- allow siblings to contribute something of value that recognizes what you're doing for your parents in ways they can't/aren't
- allow you (person providing room/board/care) to feel appreciated - even if you don't need the money it is still important to feel like you're being appreciated
- And, if money is tight - then use their money to cover their living expenses, just as they would be using that money to pay for rent/food/etc...