Would you charge your parents rent to live in in-law suite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. They sent me to private school, paid for college, and purchased my first condo. It would be a bad look if I nickle and dimed them.

That is a game changer. Honestly, you should just move into the "in law suite" and let your parents have the main house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I only bought the house to accommodate them, needed the money to pay the mortgage, and they had an adequate retirement fund.

I bought a house specifically with an in-law suite so I could accommodate them. Would have spent less if I didn’t need to buy a house with that. They pretty much only live on social security and I would be cooking and buying food for them. They would not help out at all (kids out of house, they don’t clean).

I don’t need the money to pay the mortgage at all. I was thinking more because they are not living with my sibling instead (even part-time) because sibling’s spouse hates them. So it’s like my sibling is making out like a bandit not to have increased utility and food costs, not to mention inconvenience. I could ask sibling to pay for half of those costs maybe? I don’t want resentment because I get along with everyone right now, but I could see I would be resentful that I was the only one bearing the burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I only bought the house to accommodate them, needed the money to pay the mortgage, and they had an adequate retirement fund.

I bought a house specifically with an in-law suite so I could accommodate them. Would have spent less if I didn’t need to buy a house with that. They pretty much only live on social security and I would be cooking and buying food for them. They would not help out at all (kids out of house, they don’t clean).

I don’t need the money to pay the mortgage at all. I was thinking more because they are not living with my sibling instead (even part-time) because sibling’s spouse hates them. So it’s like my sibling is making out like a bandit not to have increased utility and food costs, not to mention inconvenience. I could ask sibling to pay for half of those costs maybe? I don’t want resentment because I get along with everyone right now, but I could see I would be resentful that I was the only one bearing the burden.

No, you don't demand your sibling pay you to take care of your parents. Why do they need to move in with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I only bought the house to accommodate them, needed the money to pay the mortgage, and they had an adequate retirement fund.

I bought a house specifically with an in-law suite so I could accommodate them. Would have spent less if I didn’t need to buy a house with that. They pretty much only live on social security and I would be cooking and buying food for them. They would not help out at all (kids out of house, they don’t clean).

I don’t need the money to pay the mortgage at all. I was thinking more because they are not living with my sibling instead (even part-time) because sibling’s spouse hates them. So it’s like my sibling is making out like a bandit not to have increased utility and food costs, not to mention inconvenience. I could ask sibling to pay for half of those costs maybe? I don’t want resentment because I get along with everyone right now, but I could see I would be resentful that I was the only one bearing the burden.

No, you don't demand your sibling pay you to take care of your parents. Why do they need to move in with you?

No money except for paltry social security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I only bought the house to accommodate them, needed the money to pay the mortgage, and they had an adequate retirement fund.

I bought a house specifically with an in-law suite so I could accommodate them. Would have spent less if I didn’t need to buy a house with that. They pretty much only live on social security and I would be cooking and buying food for them. They would not help out at all (kids out of house, they don’t clean).

I don’t need the money to pay the mortgage at all. I was thinking more because they are not living with my sibling instead (even part-time) because sibling’s spouse hates them. So it’s like my sibling is making out like a bandit not to have increased utility and food costs, not to mention inconvenience. I could ask sibling to pay for half of those costs maybe? I don’t want resentment because I get along with everyone right now, but I could see I would be resentful that I was the only one bearing the burden.

You can ask, but your sibling has no obligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I only bought the house to accommodate them, needed the money to pay the mortgage, and they had an adequate retirement fund.

I bought a house specifically with an in-law suite so I could accommodate them. Would have spent less if I didn’t need to buy a house with that. They pretty much only live on social security and I would be cooking and buying food for them. They would not help out at all (kids out of house, they don’t clean).

I don’t need the money to pay the mortgage at all. I was thinking more because they are not living with my sibling instead (even part-time) because sibling’s spouse hates them. So it’s like my sibling is making out like a bandit not to have increased utility and food costs, not to mention inconvenience. I could ask sibling to pay for half of those costs maybe? I don’t want resentment because I get along with everyone right now, but I could see I would be resentful that I was the only one bearing the burden.

The bolded is the most important factor. Worrying about what is "fair" between you and your sibling should be a nonissue once you are grown up adults.

[Anonymous]

Depends on your financial situation and their financial situation.

My parents charged my grandmother; she could have lived on her own but just didn't want to, and wanted my mom to wait on her hand and foot.

Parents weren't wealthy, so charging her also prevented grandma from giving all the money she had to user daughter who didn't help take care of her.

[Anonymous]

If they would otherwise spend down to medicaid at some point, I'd probably talk to them about charging them market rent and putting that money aside to be used in case they need it later.

[Anonymous]

No. But if they could contribute to living expenses, that would be great. If not, then we'll manage. We're not the DCUM type of "I swear I'm not rich but look how much I'm spending", "middle class" sort of people. We're truly middle class. Still, I would take in my parents any time if they needed it.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Of course not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they would otherwise spend down to medicaid at some point, I'd probably talk to them about charging them market rent and putting that money aside to be used in case they need it later.

+1. I can think of lots of reasons it might make sense to charge them market rent. It is a way to transfer wealth.

[Anonymous]

No if you bought the house with the in-law suite available and could cover the mortgage then no. If they help with babysitting or housesitting or whatever then the extra utility cost is likely <100/mo especially if there is not a separate kitchen.
In our situation we had to buy a specific house with an extra bedroom to accommodate MIL. She pays a flat rate and we cover everything- clothing, hygiene, food, her cat food and care, literally anything she needs. The house had to have a ground floor bedroom and bathroom because she cant navigate stairs. We went from looking for a nice townhouse with 2bed plus basement or 3 bed to needing a SFH with a ground floor bedroom and full bath plus an extra 2 bedrooms for us and our kid plus a home office because one of has to work at home everyday so she doesnt burn the house down.

[Anonymous]

Are they offering? Maybe they want to call it "rent", when they actually just want to give you money. If the parents really want to give you money Op, find a way. Let them call it "rent".

[Anonymous]

Depends on their financial situation and mine. Would I want them to be strapped? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, no

+1

WTH charges their parents rent??