Admissions office take on application essays

[Anonymous]

Read this if you think college admission is not a game-

https://www.insidehighered.com/admissions/article/2018/02/12/suit-reveals-elite-college-consultants-charged-family-15-million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talked to ivycoach.com Bryan. He charges 90000 dollars for 3 college applications. Majority of their kids supposedly get into ivy and most selective college. So much about college admission. This whole essay shi** need to stop. Who knows who writes whose essay. College admission to most selective colleges is a game. Whoever plays well wins. Half are probably really deserving, remaining half belong to resourceful and rich families.

Yep. The DCUM crowd will burn you down though.. The vast majority of them look down on Asian "strivers" because their own kids can't make it to TJ, yet spend a fortune prepping for the SAT (which most smart kids can ace in their sleep), pay six figures to someone like Bryan to get their kids into a top school and argue all day about how their kids are "holistically well-rounded" and wrote their own essays!

[Anonymous]

I wrote my college essay years ago about my cat. Wrote another satirical essay about how I was the knockout best student possible for the school. Got in everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

+1
I have kids who (thankfully) really can write - all excel at it. The PP who keeps claiming high schoolers “aren’t good writers” does not speak for everyone. I sincerely hope admissions officers don’t assume my kids’ essays were written by someone else.

Some kids excel at math, science, etc. Others are born writers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, it shouldn't be boring if you can write well. Or, write how you talk. Most teens have a sense of humor.

Yes, but most teens can't write well. Wit and subtle humor are great, but attempting to be "haha funny" in a college essay it's extremely hard to do well and easy for it fall flat.

Why do you keep repeating this? Perhaps your kids don’t write well. That’s very different than “most kids.”
DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, it shouldn't be boring if you can write well. Or, write how you talk. Most teens have a sense of humor.

Yes, but most teens can't write well. Wit and subtle humor are great, but attempting to be "haha funny" in a college essay it's extremely hard to do well and easy for it fall flat.

Why do you keep repeating this? Perhaps your kids don’t write well. That’s very different than “most kids.”
DP

DP. Many teens write well. They often sound like teens, which is fine. Their essays are supposed to be in their own voice.

FWIW, as part of my last job, I edited the writing of a large number of people who were being paid to write persuasive position papers and speeches, and the vast majority of college graduates don’t write well.

[Anonymous]

+1 This is one of the most common complaints of graduate school professors.

(I blame in part, those rubriques they give kids now in the lower grades. SO formulaic!)

[Anonymous]

Just read this from an admissions dean.

If you google "college application essays," you will come across some essays that will be said to have gotten someone into a dream school. First of all, an essay alone doesn't do that. A compelling application, which includes well-written, interesting essays gets someone into college. Second, essays that get published are not normal. Most application essays are never going to see publication. It's fine to look for inspiration online and in books, but do not let an essay about some great feat convince you that your essays needs to be over-the-top impressive. Again, those essays aren't normal.

Most students talk about everyday things in their essays. They write about an academic interest, an activity, a family situation, or a work of art/music/literature. The way you can distinguish yourself from the other students who are going to write about that same topic? You write about why that thing is important to you instead of writing about why it's important to all people.

And then they wrote this.

Students are always asking for more specific examples of "essays that worked" during my q&a sessions on Instagram. I often hesitate because I don't want to imply that there are right topics and wrong topics. What's more, the essays that usually pop into my head are the unusual ones - the essays that were outrageous or hilarious or even devastatingly sad. Those aren't normal essays, so I don't want students to leave the q&a thinking that they have to brainstorm something shocking to say.

Keep in mind that what makes an essay good is what the student shares and how they do it, not the topic. This evening, I read a really lovely essay about a ritual that's related to food a student's family makes for a holiday. I've probably read thousands of essays that are food-related (and they make me hungry sometimes!), so this one wasn't unique in its topic, but I found the way it was written, the voice, and the little story that unfolded really...nice.

Another essay I read this evening was about sneakers. Sneaker collecting and flipping is pretty common these days. I feel somewhat familiar with the sneaker world because of all the essays I've read about that topic. This evening's student talked about planning for their next sneaker purchase and then about how they changed their mind due to some realizations about why they were attracted to fancy (my word, not theirs) sneakers. Instead of being a narrative about procuring sneakers, the student wrote a reflection. It was nicely done.

I haven't laughed this evening. I haven't cried. I've smiled several times. If you are an early applicant who is worrying about essays already written or a Regular Decision applicant feeling a bit intimated by your essays, I hope you can remember that you don't have to write a unique essay to get our attention. Write about something that interests you and let your voice come through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nonsense. Compelling narratives, in literature, film/tv, and in college essays, need a hardship to overcome. That’s not to say that the hardship needs to be a tragedy but “the everyday” is generally somewhat mundane.

Just what an admissions officer wants: 5,000 essays on the "hardship" of not making the lacrosse team.

You have this exactly backwards. The best essay most high schoolers (who have not dealt with true hardships in life) can write are reflections on mundane things.

Pick up one of those collections of "best" college essays, and what will strike you is how the topics are really quite ordinary. Two I still remember from a collection I read many years ago are (1) a girl who wrote about her father's death--but she didn't write about the experience of losing him per se, she wrote a narrative about the year anniversary of his death and how she put on her father's old coat to go wear to the cemetery and how it felt to dig her hands deep into the pockets of it and (2) a boy who wrote on the topic of "the best advice he'd ever received," which for him was when he was a young kid standing in the middle of the street and a car pulled up and the driver yelled, "move your ass!" and how that advice--to get moving--was really the best. These are the types of essays that are memorable.

Funny... the only "best" essay example I read back when I was a HS or college student was very similar. The girl's father had passed away and she told the story about a sweater (of his?) that had holes. And the last sentence was something like ."...and I like the holes" (since it reminded her of him). I recall thinking that the essay was good, but that it was not an essay that most other applicants would be in a position to write. It wasn't a phenomenal essay, but it was one where the student wrote about a personal tragedy and used some symbolism. And because there are so many essay-writing-help services out there, it makes me think that unless the student has done a lot of creative writing activity, the idea of talking about a tragedy but through the eyes of a mundane garment given sentimental meaning is perhaps formulaic and coached at this point. That said, I don't think my essays were anything amazing--I think I spoke of a favorite trip, and let my GPAs and SATs cover for my lack of an amazing essay.