Admissions office take on application essays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, high schoolers aren’t good writers (with limited exceptions). Second, it’s significantly harder to craft a compelling narrative without a conflict. It’s not impossible but it’s not easy.

Finally, you have to remember that most college admissions officers significantly overestimate their ability to set aside their personal biases when evaluating essays. An emotional essay that shows determination and character (note that’s not the same a sob story) will carry more weight.

No way, perennial essay readers have to be the most jaded people on earth. Given high schoolers aren't great writers, even if they have overcome conflict, they run the risk of writing an overwrought, treacly essay. If they focus on something mundane, they have a better chance of showing actual introspection, and purpose in their essay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, high schoolers aren’t good writers (with limited exceptions). Second, it’s significantly harder to craft a compelling narrative without a conflict. It’s not impossible but it’s not easy.

Finally, you have to remember that most college admissions officers significantly overestimate their ability to set aside their personal biases when evaluating essays. An emotional essay that shows determination and character (note that’s not the same a sob story) will carry more weight.

No way, perennial essay readers have to be the most jaded people on earth. Given high schoolers aren't great writers, even if they have overcome conflict, they run the risk of writing an overwrought, treacly essay. If they focus on something mundane, they have a better chance of showing actual introspection, and purpose in their essay.

Admittedly, that is a concern but it's very avoidable. It's also important to be memorable, something the reader can associate the student with (e.g The kid who did X/The kid who overcame Y). If done properly will out perform a mundane essay (which will be completely forgotten after someone reads 50 essays).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, high schoolers aren’t good writers (with limited exceptions). Second, it’s significantly harder to craft a compelling narrative without a conflict. It’s not impossible but it’s not easy.

Finally, you have to remember that most college admissions officers significantly overestimate their ability to set aside their personal biases when evaluating essays. An emotional essay that shows determination and character (note that’s not the same a sob story) will carry more weight.

Conflict doesn't have to be tragic.

This is true, but it lends immediate emotional weight. Obviously if a student hasn't experienced a real tragedy don't try to shoehorn. All I'm saying is that if a student has experienced a tragedy that demonstrates true growth, they should very seriously consider writing about it.

[Anonymous]

My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

This sounds great. I never meant to imply there's a one-size-fits-all essay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nonsense. Compelling narratives, in literature, film/tv, and in college essays, need a hardship to overcome. That’s not to say that the hardship needs to be a tragedy but “the everyday” is generally somewhat mundane.

Exactly. Tell the story of how you evolved.

This is really incredibly boring to read about in most cases. The "evolution" of the majority of American college applicants is not that interesting (and thank god for that).

Sorry - you are way off the mark. A good story is about evolution. You can evolve to appreciate family more after you broke your brother's bike. You can evolve in the way you treat people after you serve ice cream for a summer. You can evolve to speak out more after you went to a rally. Prospective students need to give the counselors something to work with, and it shows they are capable of growing - the entire point of continuing one's education.

[Anonymous]

My kid wrote about something that other people think is tragic or dramatic, but she has never experienced it that way.

[Anonymous]

And, it shouldn't be boring if you can write well. Or, write how you talk. Most teens have a sense of humor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, it shouldn't be boring if you can write well. Or, write how you talk. Most teens have a sense of humor.

Yes, but most teens can't write well. Wit and subtle humor are great, but attempting to be "haha funny" in a college essay it's extremely hard to do well and easy for it fall flat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

+1

My DD, typical MC suburban girl, humorously wrote about her peculiar background. I think most of teenagers are natural storytellers. She first wrote it as she was texting a funny situation to her friends group chat. Gradually, the "texts" evolved into a smart and original story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

+1

My DD, typical MC suburban girl, humorously wrote about her peculiar background. I think most of teenagers are natural storytellers. She first wrote it as she was texting a funny situation to her friends group chat. Gradually, the "texts" evolved into a smart and original story.

For the love of god, don't do this without running it by a professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

+1

My DD, typical MC suburban girl, humorously wrote about her peculiar background. I think most of teenagers are natural storytellers. She first wrote it as she was texting a funny situation to her friends group chat. Gradually, the "texts" evolved into a smart and original story.

For the love of god, don't do this without running it by a professional.

Are you stupid? Of course, she ran it by a few people. I don't know anyone who wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

+1

My DD, typical MC suburban girl, humorously wrote about her peculiar background. I think most of teenagers are natural storytellers. She first wrote it as she was texting a funny situation to her friends group chat. Gradually, the "texts" evolved into a smart and original story.

For the love of god, don't do this without running it by a professional.

I like this idea... something a little different i think is appreciated by these admission folks who are reading hundreds of essays a day. Especially in the first few sentences, first rule of writing is to grab the reader!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a pretty typical white UMC suburban boy, wrote his essay about his job at a country club... it was a mundane setting but it was all about introspection and gaining an understand of the world around you. And, though i know you all say high school kids can't write, it was extremely well written, both moving and funny.

I have no idea if the admissions counselor liked it, but he got into his ED school so it certainly didn't hinder him.

+1

My DD, typical MC suburban girl, humorously wrote about her peculiar background. I think most of teenagers are natural storytellers. She first wrote it as she was texting a funny situation to her friends group chat. Gradually, the "texts" evolved into a smart and original story.

For the love of god, don't do this without running it by a professional.

Are you stupid? Of course, she ran it by a few people. I don't know anyone who wouldn't.

There's a difference between "a few people" and a serious college admissions consultant. It seems like it worked for your daughter, but in general if you're going the humor route, it's a gamble not to have an actual expert review it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, high schoolers aren’t good writers (with limited exceptions). Second, it’s significantly harder to craft a compelling narrative without a conflict. It’s not impossible but it’s not easy.

Finally, you have to remember that most college admissions officers significantly overestimate their ability to set aside their personal biases when evaluating essays. An emotional essay that shows determination and character (note that’s not the same a sob story) will carry more weight.

Conflict doesn't have to be tragic.

This is true, but it lends immediate emotional weight. Obviously if a student hasn't experienced a real tragedy don't try to shoehorn. All I'm saying is that if a student has experienced a tragedy that demonstrates true growth, they should very seriously consider writing about it.

And the (thankfully) small number of college applicants who have experienced true tragedy will take note of your advice.