John Mulaney filed for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he’s basically a decent human and doesn’t want to f@ck up her life along with his.

This makes sense. And doesn’t want to be a crappy husband in recovery, but can’t be a good one either.

?

Blindsiding your wife who is clearly surprised and heartbroken isn’t what you do when you love someone. You don’t unilaterally make that decision.

He’s Catholic. Maybe he’s gay and therapy in rehab helped him come out.

He has a very strong bond with his male friends. Dan Levy officiated their wedding.

NP. So...you're implying that a man who has "a very strong bond with his male friends" is gay? Or might be gay? Well, sure. But whether or not Mulaney is gay, men -- straight and gay and anything else -- can have strong bonds with male friends that are not related to sexuality. Do you think straight men really can't have close friendships with each other? Or that a gay man and a straight man might actually be friends without attraction entering into it? Or that two gay men can be "just" friends? Do you also think "men and women can't be friends because there'll always be sexual tension"? How...limiting. What a limited definition of friendship.

You need to check your assumptions. Would "shallow bonds" between men make you more comfortable?

There are lots of things he’s said and done that make lots of people wonder if he is gay.

The fact that he basically moved Pete into his home after he was spiraling is just one. His eclectic taste in certain things is another.

The fact that he became an addict at such a young age seems to point to trauma or some issues early on. Grappling with your sexuality could be a reason.

He was an altar boy. Now he hates the Catholic Church. He started drinking around the age most Catholic boys are altar servers.

Who knows?

Are you assuming he must have been molested? I think that is a tired trope about gay men. Most gay men were not molested as children. Most male survivors of CSA are straight.

I’m not assuming anything.

Like you, I’m wondering out loud on an anonymous forum about a public celebrity whose sexuality is routinely questioned.

Maybe he’s not gay...but maybe he was molested?

He started drinking very, very young. That’s unusual. Research would indicate an early drinker has mental health issues and/or suffered trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he’s basically a decent human and doesn’t want to f@ck up her life along with his.

This makes sense. And doesn’t want to be a crappy husband in recovery, but can’t be a good one either.

?

Blindsiding your wife who is clearly surprised and heartbroken isn’t what you do when you love someone. You don’t unilaterally make that decision.

He’s Catholic. Maybe he’s gay and therapy in rehab helped him come out.

He has a very strong bond with his male friends. Dan Levy officiated their wedding.

NP. So...you're implying that a man who has "a very strong bond with his male friends" is gay? Or might be gay? Well, sure. But whether or not Mulaney is gay, men -- straight and gay and anything else -- can have strong bonds with male friends that are not related to sexuality. Do you think straight men really can't have close friendships with each other? Or that a gay man and a straight man might actually be friends without attraction entering into it? Or that two gay men can be "just" friends? Do you also think "men and women can't be friends because there'll always be sexual tension"? How...limiting. What a limited definition of friendship.

You need to check your assumptions. Would "shallow bonds" between men make you more comfortable?

There are lots of things he’s said and done that make lots of people wonder if he is gay.

The fact that he basically moved Pete into his home after he was spiraling is just one. His eclectic taste in certain things is another.

The fact that he became an addict at such a young age seems to point to trauma or some issues early on. Grappling with your sexuality could be a reason.

He was an altar boy. Now he hates the Catholic Church. He started drinking around the age most Catholic boys are altar servers.

Who knows?

Are you assuming he must have been molested? I think that is a tired trope about gay men. Most gay men were not molested as children. Most male survivors of CSA are straight.

I’m not assuming anything.

Like you, I’m wondering out loud on an anonymous forum about a public celebrity whose sexuality is routinely questioned.

Maybe he’s not gay...but maybe he was molested?

He started drinking very, very young. That’s unusual. Research would indicate an early drinker has mental health issues and/or suffered trauma.

There are also people who have a genetic predisposition to addiction. No trauma needed to spark a problem, just access to alcohol.

[Anonymous]

“ From the age of 13 until he was 23, Mulaney relied on substances to make him feel happy and confident in social situations. “I drank for attention,” John Mulaney explained in a 2019 interview with Esquire. “I was really outgoing, and then at 12, I wasn’t. I didn’t know how to act. And then I was drinking, and I was hilarious again.” He quit drinking and using cocaine in 2005 when he realized how bad things had gotten.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he’s basically a decent human and doesn’t want to f@ck up her life along with his.

This makes sense. And doesn’t want to be a crappy husband in recovery, but can’t be a good one either.

?

Blindsiding your wife who is clearly surprised and heartbroken isn’t what you do when you love someone. You don’t unilaterally make that decision.

He’s Catholic. Maybe he’s gay and therapy in rehab helped him come out.

He has a very strong bond with his male friends. Dan Levy officiated their wedding.

NP. So...you're implying that a man who has "a very strong bond with his male friends" is gay? Or might be gay? Well, sure. But whether or not Mulaney is gay, men -- straight and gay and anything else -- can have strong bonds with male friends that are not related to sexuality. Do you think straight men really can't have close friendships with each other? Or that a gay man and a straight man might actually be friends without attraction entering into it? Or that two gay men can be "just" friends? Do you also think "men and women can't be friends because there'll always be sexual tension"? How...limiting. What a limited definition of friendship.

You need to check your assumptions. Would "shallow bonds" between men make you more comfortable?

There are lots of things he’s said and done that make lots of people wonder if he is gay.

The fact that he basically moved Pete into his home after he was spiraling is just one. His eclectic taste in certain things is another.

The fact that he became an addict at such a young age seems to point to trauma or some issues early on. Grappling with your sexuality could be a reason.

He was an altar boy. Now he hates the Catholic Church. He started drinking around the age most Catholic boys are altar servers.

Who knows?

Your source on this? He has spoken a lot about his feelings about the Catholic Church. Ha is ambivalent for sure but I think “hate” is putting words in his mouth. Agree that he could have suffered some kind of trauma. Have no reason to think it was at church. He said church was fine but not for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts? Honestly I am always bummed when people announce divorce, even though I know in my head that if somebody wants a divorce badly enough to file for it, they should really get divorced.

Divorce is a failure, that's why it feels bad.

I would not call it a failure.

I see it as the death of a dream. Even sadder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he’s basically a decent human and doesn’t want to f@ck up her life along with his.

This makes sense. And doesn’t want to be a crappy husband in recovery, but can’t be a good one either.

?

Blindsiding your wife who is clearly surprised and heartbroken isn’t what you do when you love someone. You don’t unilaterally make that decision.

He’s Catholic. Maybe he’s gay and therapy in rehab helped him come out.

He has a very strong bond with his male friends. Dan Levy officiated their wedding.

NP. So...you're implying that a man who has "a very strong bond with his male friends" is gay? Or might be gay? Well, sure. But whether or not Mulaney is gay, men -- straight and gay and anything else -- can have strong bonds with male friends that are not related to sexuality. Do you think straight men really can't have close friendships with each other? Or that a gay man and a straight man might actually be friends without attraction entering into it? Or that two gay men can be "just" friends? Do you also think "men and women can't be friends because there'll always be sexual tension"? How...limiting. What a limited definition of friendship.

You need to check your assumptions. Would "shallow bonds" between men make you more comfortable?

There are lots of things he’s said and done that make lots of people wonder if he is gay.

The fact that he basically moved Pete into his home after he was spiraling is just one. His eclectic taste in certain things is another.

The fact that he became an addict at such a young age seems to point to trauma or some issues early on. Grappling with your sexuality could be a reason.

He was an altar boy. Now he hates the Catholic Church. He started drinking around the age most Catholic boys are altar servers.

Who knows?

Are you assuming he must have been molested? I think that is a tired trope about gay men. Most gay men were not molested as children. Most male survivors of CSA are straight.

I’m not assuming anything.

Like you, I’m wondering out loud on an anonymous forum about a public celebrity whose sexuality is routinely questioned.

Maybe he’s not gay...but maybe he was molested?

He started drinking very, very young. That’s unusual. Research would indicate an early drinker has mental health issues and/or suffered trauma.

There are also people who have a genetic predisposition to addiction. No trauma needed to spark a problem, just access to alcohol.

The genetic piece typically comes with a genetic connection to anxiety, depression or something else.

Signed,

Sibling died from alcoholism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he’s basically a decent human and doesn’t want to f@ck up her life along with his.

This makes sense. And doesn’t want to be a crappy husband in recovery, but can’t be a good one either.

?

Blindsiding your wife who is clearly surprised and heartbroken isn’t what you do when you love someone. You don’t unilaterally make that decision.

He’s Catholic. Maybe he’s gay and therapy in rehab helped him come out.

He has a very strong bond with his male friends. Dan Levy officiated their wedding.

NP. So...you're implying that a man who has "a very strong bond with his male friends" is gay? Or might be gay? Well, sure. But whether or not Mulaney is gay, men -- straight and gay and anything else -- can have strong bonds with male friends that are not related to sexuality. Do you think straight men really can't have close friendships with each other? Or that a gay man and a straight man might actually be friends without attraction entering into it? Or that two gay men can be "just" friends? Do you also think "men and women can't be friends because there'll always be sexual tension"? How...limiting. What a limited definition of friendship.

You need to check your assumptions. Would "shallow bonds" between men make you more comfortable?

There are lots of things he’s said and done that make lots of people wonder if he is gay.

The fact that he basically moved Pete into his home after he was spiraling is just one. His eclectic taste in certain things is another.

The fact that he became an addict at such a young age seems to point to trauma or some issues early on. Grappling with your sexuality could be a reason.

He was an altar boy. Now he hates the Catholic Church. He started drinking around the age most Catholic boys are altar servers.

Who knows?

Are you assuming he must have been molested? I think that is a tired trope about gay men. Most gay men were not molested as children. Most male survivors of CSA are straight.

I’m not assuming anything.

Like you, I’m wondering out loud on an anonymous forum about a public celebrity whose sexuality is routinely questioned.

Maybe he’s not gay...but maybe he was molested?

He started drinking very, very young. That’s unusual. Research would indicate an early drinker has mental health issues and/or suffered trauma.

There are also people who have a genetic predisposition to addiction. No trauma needed to spark a problem, just access to alcohol.

The genetic piece typically comes with a genetic connection to anxiety, depression or something else.

Signed,

Sibling died from alcoholism

Usually, but not always. A friend who has been sober since age 18 described her childhood as incredibly happy and discovering drugs at age 14 just made it so much happier for a long while. She did end up with trauma, but it was from being pimped out by a boyfriend for drugs her senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts? Honestly I am always bummed when people announce divorce, even though I know in my head that if somebody wants a divorce badly enough to file for it, they should really get divorced.

Divorce is a failure, that's why it feels bad.

It is not a failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts? Honestly I am always bummed when people announce divorce, even though I know in my head that if somebody wants a divorce badly enough to file for it, they should really get divorced.

Divorce is a failure, that's why it feels bad.

It is not a failure.

It is a failure. A failure to stay married. A failure to honor the vows you took and the promises you made. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a good choice and the right thing to do but it is a failure.

I really like his comedy but he has a very sharp edge to him that occasionally pops out. I think he would be great to be friends with not great to be married to.

[Anonymous]

Guys -- they are divorcing after six years and no kids. This is a breakup; calling it a divorce is a technicality. It is a marriage that should not have happened in the first place, and that people pretend that every divorce is sad, and that marriage must have been a good idea for a couple in love in the first place, is part of the bad culture we have around this topic.

I'm sorry they're sad, and yes, someone who says he began drinking at age 13 in order to receive attention is someone with serious childhood trauma and I geniunely wish him the very best with his recovery.

[Anonymous]

https://www.vulture.com/article/who-should-john-mulaney-be-now.html

Good article about his first show the other night talking about the intervention, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts? Honestly I am always bummed when people announce divorce, even though I know in my head that if somebody wants a divorce badly enough to file for it, they should really get divorced.

Divorce is a failure, that's why it feels bad.

It is not a failure.

It is a failure. A failure to stay married. A failure to honor the vows you took and the promises you made. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a good choice and the right thing to do but it is a failure.

I really like his comedy but he has a very sharp edge to him that occasionally pops out. I think he would be great to be friends with not great to be married to.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts? Honestly I am always bummed when people announce divorce, even though I know in my head that if somebody wants a divorce badly enough to file for it, they should really get divorced.

Divorce is a failure, that's why it feels bad.

I would not call it a failure.

I see it as the death of a dream. Even sadder.

It’s both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts? Honestly I am always bummed when people announce divorce, even though I know in my head that if somebody wants a divorce badly enough to file for it, they should really get divorced.

Divorce is a failure, that's why it feels bad.

It is not a failure.

It is a failure. A failure to stay married. A failure to honor the vows you took and the promises you made. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a good choice and the right thing to do but it is a failure.

I really like his comedy but he has a very sharp edge to him that occasionally pops out. I think he would be great to be friends with not great to be married to.

The marriage failed to be a happy, mutually beneficial union, but the divorce itself is a choice made by at least one of the two parties, not a failure. If both parties will have a happier, better life apart, then divorce is the best option. You can’t make a blanket statement that everyone who is divorced failed to honor the promises they made; some people honored every promise, but their spouse wanted out. You can’t force someone to stay married to you.

[Anonymous]

Most comedians are sarcastic, and their humor comes from a “bad” place, a mocking place of bitter hurt and barely veiled anger, is the secret. In the industry, the one exception is Will Ferrell. John Mulaney is not an exception. He probably should not be onstage yet. I do wish him well. Addiction is a mountain you climb everyday.