Now that I’m in my 50’s, I have so many regrets from my younger days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wonder if it's an age thing. Turned 50 last year and I have always been pretty content/happy with my life (I had to overcome some rougher stuff when I was young, and so I always felt like things were looking up and I could appreciate what I had). Well lo and behold, I hit the big 5-0 and all of a sudden I'm besieged with regrets about random stuff that I literally hadn't thought about in a decade. I could have taken this other job, met a famous person, been on TV, married a different guy, whatever. Just weird chance encounter things that probably would never have led anywhere but might have led to a totally different life. or horribly embarrassing things that I was so clueless about I didn't even realize I was offending someone/doing something stupid at the time. Suddenly they pop into my mind literally from 20 years ago.

I wonder if something happens to our brains as we hit midlife, hence the midlife crisis phenomenon..

It's because you're getting closer to dying and you're much more attuned to the fact that more doors are closing to you so to speak than are opening. Obviously it's a natural progression but I think as we get older we more fully appreciate that our path is becoming set.

[Anonymous]

I feel ashamed of many of the things I did, but looking back, I can recognize why I did it, and I feel empathy and sympathy for the girl who was hurting so badly and so desperate for validation, attention and love that she behaved like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I use to feel bad about sleeping around when I was younger, not anymore.. haven’t had sex in 14 years. My husband is asexual.

Wow, I feel you. I am also in a libidinally mismatched marriage. However, I would never go 14 years without sex. I think a partner who is not physically constrained has no right to ask for that kind of sacrifice. I am determined to prevent having regrets in my 60s about what I gave up unnecessarily in my 40s. DH accepts this.

[Anonymous]

If you didn’t have a wild side, you’d be posting here with regrets about not letting loose more.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my late 40's and unfortunately I have many regrets. But I think everyone has some if they were really honest with themselves.

My regrets:

1. Being anorexic as a teen. So much energy channeled into something so negative.
2. Chronic low self esteem that I still struggle with-I wish I would have gotten help earlier on.
3. Not pursuing educational and career opportunities because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to "hack it." I could have been more professionally successful if I hadn't been so afraid. Again, this is still an issue.
4. Drinking way too much and putting myself in dangerous situations.
5. Cheating on two of my boyfriends
6. Being difficult and sometimes taking out my unhappiness on people who didn't deserve it.
7. Being insecure about my appearance. I look at old photos and can see that I was pretty but I had a hard time seeing that at the time. I wish I would have been more confident and enjoyed being young and cute.


Things I don't regret:

1. The one night stands/hook-ups I had when I wasn't in relationships. I wish I had allowed myself to have more of them-they were so much fun! I was afraid of being judged by my friends and bought into the old mentality about women who slept around being slutty. I felt so much shame after a lot of those hook-ups which was absolutely ridiculous.

2. Traveling a lot. I actually wish I would have traveled more.

3. Living in different parts of the country when I was younger.

4. Meeting my husband. I'm almost afraid to write this as I feel like it's "tempting fate" in some way. While you never know what the future will bring or what's around the corner, I love him dearly.