Now that I’m in my 50’s, I have so many regrets from my younger days

[Anonymous]

This is not what I was expecting. Are you born again or something? Most people regret missed chances not being a bit wild if it resulted in no bad consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I was so entitled that even when I had the most incredible opportunities, I blew them off because I wasn't in the mood and I figured something else just as good would come along.

Wow. This. Thanks for posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only regrets you should feel guilty about the ones you hurt someone particularly the ones who loved you. I am in late 50s myself and I only have two regrets - wish i were better to my parents and the way I treated first GF over 40 years ago.

May I ask why you even think about someone from 40 years ago? Do you even know their whereabouts?

[Anonymous]

Only regret of my younger days is stupidity and low self esteem. Simple inverse formula. Longer I dated a woman, the worse the person was for me. Never closed the deal with those who had an obvious interest and would have been worth getting to know.

Cue: Chris Farley on SNL smacking his forehead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not what I was expecting. Are you born again or something? Most people regret missed chances not being a bit wild if it resulted in no bad consequences.

No, not born again at all. Just looking back at some situations that could have turned out very bad. Dumb decisions, mostly drunken. I mean, I had a lot of fun! But, looking back, there are some cringe worthy experiences that I wish I hadn’t done. Younger me was fun, but did some really stupid stuff. And, while fun at the time, I’m not really proud of the ONS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only regret of my younger days is stupidity and low self esteem. Simple inverse formula. Longer I dated a woman, the worse the person was for me. Never closed the deal with those who had an obvious interest and would have been worth getting to know.

Cue: Chris Farley on SNL smacking his forehead.

OP here, I could say the same about the men who had obvious interest and would have been worth getting to know. But, I never wanted them. I wanted the ones that were not worthy of my time, yet I kept chasing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wonder if it's an age thing. Turned 50 last year and I have always been pretty content/happy with my life (I had to overcome some rougher stuff when I was young, and so I always felt like things were looking up and I could appreciate what I had). Well lo and behold, I hit the big 5-0 and all of a sudden I'm besieged with regrets about random stuff that I literally hadn't thought about in a decade. I could have taken this other job, met a famous person, been on TV, married a different guy, whatever. Just weird chance encounter things that probably would never have led anywhere but might have led to a totally different life. or horribly embarrassing things that I was so clueless about I didn't even realize I was offending someone/doing something stupid at the time. Suddenly they pop into my mind literally from 20 years ago.

I wonder if something happens to our brains as we hit midlife, hence the midlife crisis phenomenon..

[Anonymous]

It's called life experiences and the fact that anyone's life could be vastly different. Took my daughter to the neighborhood that I lived in after starting my first job. Had that apartment 30 years ago. I took a picture of her standing in front of the same building. Started thinking about all the things that had to happen or I would not have been there with her. What if I had taken a different job? Turned right instead of left on a Tuesday? Never broke up with so and so? Stayed with my original major? A million things had to line up for us to take that picture. Crazy how life is full of chances and random events. That's why you are looking at these things at fifty.

[Anonymous]

I have the opposite feeling--I wish I had lived more, been more wild, done something besides work and sleep. I was raised religious and it took some time to shake that off.

[Anonymous]

You are being way too hard on yourself. What you describe is youth. Totally normal.

Take that wisdom and with it extend kindness to young people who make mistakes, esp. those who get caught up in the criminal justice system for foolishness.

Nobody is amazing and perfect. No matter what media/social media tries to make us believe. We are all just muddling along in life.

You are a success -- you're still here! And you are decent enough to even look at your life and evaluate your errors. That's more than a lot of people are willing to do.

Now stop beating yourself up, extend yourself some love and kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not what I was expecting. Are you born again or something? Most people regret missed chances not being a bit wild if it resulted in no bad consequences.

No, not born again at all. Just looking back at some situations that could have turned out very bad. Dumb decisions, mostly drunken. I mean, I had a lot of fun! But, looking back, there are some cringe worthy experiences that I wish I hadn’t done. Younger me was fun, but did some really stupid stuff. And, while fun at the time, I’m not really proud of the ONS.

Just be thankful that nothing bad happened. I don't see the point of regrets if no-one got hurt even if was risky. Would you advise your DD to do the same or others to do the same now? Hell no! But since you came out ok on the other side, just be glad you had fun and nothing bad happened.

[Anonymous]

I use to feel bad about sleeping around when I was younger, not anymore.. haven’t had sex in 14 years. My husband is asexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be blunt, in my younger days I did things that I’m not proud of. I slept around, drank too much, acted irresponsible which could have been dangerous for me- thank goodness nothing bad happened! I’mcollege educated, was brought up in upper middle class family, always have had professional jobs. But, I was kind of wild. Now I’m looking back at my life and am ashamed, embarrassed and so wish that I could do things over! I was such an idiot! I’m not super religious, but enough so that I’ve asked God for forgiveness. But, it’s really bothering me. I use to look back and laugh at some of the stories, now I just cringe!

Anyone else feel this way? And if so, how are you dealing with it? I mean, obviously I can’t redo things.

Honestly, I am 49 and I embrace and cherish all of that. While nursing my preemie around the clock for weeks on end I found myself VERY glad that I had partied and had fun while I was young. #NoRegrets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only regret that I wasn’t a bit more on the wild side. There is a time for everything, and I missed out on my window for being careless and stupid. But catching up now would be pathetic

I feel this way, too. In addition to being pathetic, catching up would also be difficult to pull off with a husband around. :-/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only regrets you should feel guilty about the ones you hurt someone particularly the ones who loved you. I am in late 50s myself and I only have two regrets - wish i were better to my parents and the way I treated first GF over 40 years ago.

May I ask why you even think about someone from 40 years ago? Do you even know their whereabouts?

Do you not think about people you used to know? Old friends and loves?

Also, it's possible that PP is thinking more about the way they behaved more than about the person they were with. The regret might be about their behavior, not that they wish they were still with that person.