anyone's child who has sibling at sidwell rejected for K?

[Anonymous]

I never SAID what you are saying (# 3 ) . Would never say its not true to its Quaker roots. I was just expressing to other in my shoes my experience. I have nothing negative to say about the school. YOu have the posters confused!! It is a great school and again, I'm really hurt. THANK YOU

[Anonymous]

21:54

Not the poster to whom you are directing this, but:

One, there is a bus that runs between the Sidwell upper and lower school campuses, so DC folks are not necessarily schlepping their kids to Bethesda every day (Sidwell Lower was a deal breaker for us until we learned about the bus).

Two, seventeen miles in DC rush hour traffic is not a major inconvenience - you have got to be kidding. As a District resident, you haul your kid all the way out to Sandy Springs, then join all the commuters headed back to the District - no way! Yes, some folks do this, but single and two-parent households with folks working out of the home - this would be insane. I would only commit to something like this if I had a special needs child and it was the ONLY school in the area for my kid. And I would probably move closer to the school. While a few of your suggestions are less than seventeen miles, they are located in VA and necessitate crossing bridges twice during rush hour - also insane if you can avoid it.

[Anonymous]

From what I understand, Quakers are put in the same pool of priority applicants as legacies, children of staff/faculty and siblings. As is seen in this thread, it sounds like there are plenty of priority applicants who were not admitted.

When there is such demand, what is a school to do? Maybe there were several Quaker applicants this year? Being Quaker doesn't seem to guarantee admission, just like being a sibling doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Not the other posters, but I drive from Bethesda to Capitol Hill for school. People think I'm crazy. But you just do what you think is the best thing. If you're committed to a Quaker education, you can't bank on getting into the hardest school in the city to get into. There have to be other options the same way that everyone applies to more than one school so that they have options if they don't get into their first choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm sympathetic that you did not get admitted someplace you wanted for your child, and I know that's heartbreaking. But I find some of these remarks inconsistent.

(1) Last time I checked, Sidwell's lower school is in Bethesda MD, not DC.
(2) All those other Quaker schools are not so far away. I checked Google for their distance from the center of DC (the Capitol), and many of the distances are pretty similar: Friends Community School (12 miles), Sandy Spring Friends School (17 miles), Thornton Friends School (9 miles), Alexandria Friends School (9 miles), Sidwell (8 miles).
(3) If you're actually just measuring the distance of Sidwell from NW DC, then I suppose you're right that any other Quaker school will require a longer commute. But perhaps your strong Quaker religious beliefs will help you overcome the burden of driving the extra 5-10 miles to an alternative Quaker school.
(4) Your original post at 15:56 says that the school's rejection of your child's application "confirms our feelings that Sidwell is not true to its Quaker roots and is a Friends school in name only." If the school is not true to its Quaker roots, then why are you applying there in the first place and bemoaning the fact that you can send your child there? Was it "a Friends school in name only" before you applied there, or only after you were rejected?

I'm sorry to be so snitty, and I apologize. I really do understand how painful it is to be rejected. But I just don't think it's fair to trash a school out of spite. I'm sure there are plenty of legitimate reasons to criticize Sidwell (and any other school), but this isn't one of them. I suspect you'll be angry and tell me to screw off, and I probably deserve that for calling you out like this. I'm sorry.

Wow. Whoever you are... I think you need to take a deep breath. I hope you don't treat people in person. That was an outright attack. So, while I don't think it was your intent, you basically were saying that Sidwell as little obligation towards admitting Quakers because there are other Quaker schools within driving distance. I posted a few questions at 22:07. It sounds like you are a part of the Sidwell Friends Community, so maybe you can help answer these questions as I honestly don't know. What I would like to know is does the school explicitly give any sort of preference/priority to Quakers. And if so, what percentage of each grade on average is Quaker?

[Anonymous]

Thornton Friends closed last June. No elementary school even when it was open.

[Anonymous]

I am a Sidwell alum and know of a classmate whose first child goes to Sidwell and younger sibling was rejected last year.

Sidwell made it clear at its alum admissions night in the fall that it only takes about half of alumni child applicants and half of sibling applicants in any given year because it could fill all of its spaces with priority applicants (siblings, alum children, Quakers, and faculty children) and wants to leave space for new families. My takeaway was that if you want a guaranteed spot (especially for PK or K) for younger siblings, you should look to send your child to a different school. This was one of the reasons I chose not to apply to Sidwell this year for my rising kindergartener (the others being that almost everyone I know who went from Lower School through 12th grade feels like they were there too long and that, while fabulous in many respects, it is a very intense place in Middle and Upper School that is not right for many children and, at age 4, I have no idea if it will be a good fit for my daughter down the road).

[Anonymous]

What year did you start at Sidwell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Sidwell alum and know of a classmate whose first child goes to Sidwell and younger sibling was rejected last year.

Sidwell made it clear at its alum admissions night in the fall that it only takes about half of alumni child applicants and half of sibling applicants in any given year because it could fill all of its spaces with priority applicants (siblings, alum children, Quakers, and faculty children) and wants to leave space for new families. My takeaway was that if you want a guaranteed spot (especially for PK or K) for younger siblings, you should look to send your child to a different school. This was one of the reasons I chose not to apply to Sidwell this year for my rising kindergartener (the others being that almost everyone I know who went from Lower School through 12th grade feels like they were there too long and that, while fabulous in many respects, it is a very intense place in Middle and Upper School that is not right for many children and, at age 4, I have no idea if it will be a good fit for my daughter down the road).

Thank you for your incite!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never SAID what you are saying (# 3 ) . Would never say its not true to its Quaker roots. I was just expressing to other in my shoes my experience. I have nothing negative to say about the school. YOu have the posters confused!! It is a great school and again, I'm really hurt. THANK YOU

Is this PP at 20:02 (from Philadelphia)? If so, I did not mean to put those comments about Quaker roots on you. And indeed, in retrospect, I apologize for even quoting your post at all because you seem like you're just expressing understandable frustration about the situation and not turning it into an attack on the school. I'm really sorry it didn't work out for you. I hope you find a place that works for you.

My comments were really directed at 15:56 and 16:37 from page 2 of this thread. Those posts seem to cross the line from an understandable expression of frustration at an admission decision to an unfair criticism of a whole school. I object to that unfairness, so I spoke up. I probably would have done the same thing about unfair criticism directed at any other school. Maybe I should have kept quiet to avoid creating controversy, but I didn't.

To be clear, I don't know anything about Sidwell's Quaker policy other than what's posted on the school's website.

[Anonymous]

We have a child at Sidwell, and while we haven't gone through the sibling admissions process (because we chose to send our younger child to another school that's a better match for her), I do know that it is very upsetting for families when younger siblings are not admitted. I also know that this is true even when parents understand and support -- in the abstract -- the reason for Sidwell's policy regarding sibling applicants. And, I know the hurt can still be there years later, even when, in hindsight, the parents come to love the school that the younger sib ends up attending.

So, how to avoid these hurt feelings? On the school's part, I think it's clear that there's a problem with the letter -- either in its wording or in the use of a letter, rather than some other means of communication. Like some other posters, I would hate to hear this news in a phone call, and, further, I would guess that the phone call approach would be a logistical nightmare for the admissions office (leaving messages, playing phonetag, etc.). But, perhaps an earlier "heads up" might be kinder, or, at the very least, a more gently-worded letter. It's my understanding that the current letter extends an invitation to call the admissions staff with questions, and I do know that those calls can go a long way in helping parents understand the situation, so I have confidence that the admissions staff can be kind and clear in addressing the concerns of parents. Still, as a member of the Sidwell community, I'm so sorry that the admissions process seems so harsh and causes such upset for many parents. (And, I do have to conclude that this is not just the case with a few, overly-sensitive folks as I've heard these complaints for years.)

Now, on the parents' part -- I think it's appropriate to suggest that you try to understand that it's always hard to give and get bad news. For years I've heard parents complain about Maret's apparent practice of waitlisting virtually all kids who are not accepted, a practice, which, I think, is intended kindly, but which seems always to raise false hopes and make people feel foolish when they reasonably feel hopeful upon receiving a waitlist letter. I'm not saying this to trash Maret, but to point out that it's really hard to strike the right balance here. I think it also helps to keep in mind that there is a major random element to these decisions, simply because of the numbers involved, the age of the children and the myriad factors that must be balanced. This is true of all admissions decisions involving young people -- from kindergarten up to and including grad school. When my husband and I were law students, a professor who served on the admissions committee of our law school for many years told us that the committee could probably achieve the same goal (admitting a class of promising lawyers) and save itself a lot of time if it just took the whole batch of applications and threw them down a staircase to see which ones landed face up. Really, maybe these schools should do just that and save people a lot of hurt.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PP, you made me feel better : ) I'm the Quaker poster with a smart AA child that was denied. We have been admitted elsewhere and I'm sure in time I will grow to love it. It is not one of the Top Three mentioned often on this site but it is another well know school. We only applied to two schools so I guess I should really be thankful seeing how many other qualifed wonderful children got denied or waitlisted everywhere. Wow, I had no idea how tough DC competition was/is, atleast compared to Philadelphia!!

[Anonymous]

I think the school should have an early notification policy with current families. Perhaps the news of admittance (positive or negative) should be given in a parent/admissions staff meeting. Since current families don't really need the obligatory interview... Sidwell should have a required meeting with parents to their decision. They should make it standard for all current families, so it is not a red flag and simply part of the process. There is no reason that Sidwell cannot make the decision early. Many other schools including Beauvoir send responses early. Sidwell owes the same respect to their community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never SAID what you are saying (# 3 ) . Would never say its not true to its Quaker roots. I was just expressing to other in my shoes my experience. I have nothing negative to say about the school. YOu have the posters confused!! It is a great school and again, I'm really hurt. THANK YOU

Is this PP at 20:02 (from Philadelphia)? If so, I did not mean to put those comments about Quaker roots on you. And indeed, in retrospect, I apologize for even quoting your post at all because you seem like you're just expressing understandable frustration about the situation and not turning it into an attack on the school. I'm really sorry it didn't work out for you. I hope you find a place that works for you.

My comments were really directed at 15:56 and 16:37 from page 2 of this thread. Those posts seem to cross the line from an understandable expression of frustration at an admission decision to an unfair criticism of a whole school. I object to that unfairness, so I spoke up. I probably would have done the same thing about unfair criticism directed at any other school. Maybe I should have kept quiet to avoid creating controversy, but I didn't.

To be clear, I don't know anything about Sidwell's Quaker policy other than what's posted on the school's website.

While it appears you have rethought your outright attack on the Philadelphia family and are sorry for your post. I find it incredibly sad that you now are trying to pass your post off as being directed at another poster entirely. You actually googled every Friends school in the area and told the Philadelphia family to go find another Quaker school. And basically were saying find another Quaker school. It feels empty and false that after such a blatant shot at their Quaker Roots you now are trying to turn it around and say your post was directed at 15:56 who is not Quaker and would not benefit from driving an extra hour every day to send their child to a Quaker school.

The good news is that the Quaker family showed how truly lovely they are and they accepted your apology and were gracious and didn't focus on your telling them to find another Quaker school. Sidwell could use a few more real Quakers. I hope the new headmaster is able to bring that back to the school.

[Anonymous]

Here are the Quaker comments from 15:56 and 16:37 (which are not from the Philadelphia Quaker):

Extensive Quaker background that extends multiple generations. Similar scores. Great recommendations from a top preschool. Outright rejected with our DC's name merged into the same form letter sent to everyone else. It only confirms our feelings that Sidwell is not true to its Quaker roots and is a Friends school in name only. It is very sad that the few Quakers that live in DC cannot educate their children in the city's only Quaker school.

Yes. I am obviously aware of all of the above schools. However, last time I checked, none of them were located in Washington, DC. Again, it is really sad that the few Quakers who live in DC cannot educate their children at the city's only Quaker school.