My kid is on the second team...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was a bench player on first team. He barely got playing time. I requested he be moved to second team but coach refused.you know how much it sucks to travel to a tournament and your kids only plays 5 min. Had to move to another club where my son happily starts and plays the full time for second team. Be careful what you wish for.

This!!

I should add my son was a carefree player until he became a benchplayer for A team. He started playing “scared”. He became afraid that if he made a mistake he would get pulled out. He would look at the coach to see his reaction instead of having his head in the game and making moves. Once on a B team it gradually came back. He went back to looking confident and playing well. Before Covid he was asked to guest play on new clubs A team but he didn’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was a bench player on first team. He barely got playing time. I requested he be moved to second team but coach refused.you know how much it sucks to travel to a tournament and your kids only plays 5 min. Had to move to another club where my son happily starts and plays the full time for second team. Be careful what you wish for.

This!!

I should add my son was a carefree player until he became a benchplayer for A team. He started playing “scared”. He became afraid that if he made a mistake he would get pulled out. He would look at the coach to see his reaction instead of having his head in the game and making moves. Once on a B team it gradually came back. He went back to looking confident and playing well. Before Covid he was asked to guest play on new clubs A team but he didn’t want to.

+1 This happened to my kid as well. Playing scared is not good for any kid. People who say that the benchwarmers on Team A need to play their way up are ill-informed or at least not realistic. The reality at most clubs is that those players will get little playing time and will get yanked the minute they make a mistake which will actually hinder their development. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seeing this heavily at U-13 boys, the players with size on the big field are dominating. As skilled as some of the small kids are, they have a hard time keeping up. The larger ones shine. I take heart that I saw the fiend completely change but it took almost U16.

I agree this was not always the case, but these days you should be able to find a coach/team who is looking for technical players ahead of size/strength in any case. If you have such a kid I would strongly suggest finding a coach who wants, and will play, him.

[Anonymous]

Yes, your DC may be better positioned on the B team - get more play time, hone skills, and be allowed the opportunity to improve.

However, that doesn't address why you're actively rooting against the A team. No reason to do that and don't be fooled that the maliciousness isn't feeding down to your DC.

It's unnecessary and poor parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your DC may be better positioned on the B team - get more play time, hone skills, and be allowed the opportunity to improve.

However, that doesn't address why you're actively rooting against the A team. No reason to do that and don't be fooled that the maliciousness isn't feeding down to your DC.

It's unnecessary and poor parenting.

Nah. It's totally natural to feel that way, especially if it seems that your kid is as good as some of the kids on the A team. Focus on the fact that the bottom players on the A team tend to stagnate and enjoy watching you kid play for the B team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your DC may be better positioned on the B team - get more play time, hone skills, and be allowed the opportunity to improve.

However, that doesn't address why you're actively rooting against the A team. No reason to do that and don't be fooled that the maliciousness isn't feeding down to your DC.

It's unnecessary and poor parenting.

Nah. It's totally natural to feel that way, especially if it seems that your kid is as good as some of the kids on the A team. Focus on the fact that the bottom players on the A team tend to stagnate and enjoy watching you kid play for the B team.

That's awful. He wants to play for the A team but simultaneously wants them to lose? So when they're terrible, his kid will be the hero? It's this hero complex and loose grasp on reality that makes parents in this area so insufferable. Everyone's kid is IT so he wants his kids practice mates to suffer for not recognizing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your DC may be better positioned on the B team - get more play time, hone skills, and be allowed the opportunity to improve.

However, that doesn't address why you're actively rooting against the A team. No reason to do that and don't be fooled that the maliciousness isn't feeding down to your DC.

It's unnecessary and poor parenting.

Nah. It's totally natural to feel that way, especially if it seems that your kid is as good as some of the kids on the A team. Focus on the fact that the bottom players on the A team tend to stagnate and enjoy watching you kid play for the B team.

That's awful. He wants to play for the A team but simultaneously wants them to lose? So when they're terrible, his kid will be the hero? It's this hero complex and loose grasp on reality that makes parents in this area so insufferable. Everyone's kid is IT so he wants his kids practice mates to suffer for not recognizing it.

Please. The person is processing a natural reaction to having a kid rejected. It's normal to feel that way, but not normal to dwell on it. Acknowledge it, let it go, and focus on the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your DC may be better positioned on the B team - get more play time, hone skills, and be allowed the opportunity to improve.

However, that doesn't address why you're actively rooting against the A team. No reason to do that and don't be fooled that the maliciousness isn't feeding down to your DC.

It's unnecessary and poor parenting.

Nah. It's totally natural to feel that way, especially if it seems that your kid is as good as some of the kids on the A team. Focus on the fact that the bottom players on the A team tend to stagnate and enjoy watching you kid play for the B team.

That's awful. He wants to play for the A team but simultaneously wants them to lose? So when they're terrible, his kid will be the hero? It's this hero complex and loose grasp on reality that makes parents in this area so insufferable. Everyone's kid is IT so he wants his kids practice mates to suffer for not recognizing it.

Please. The person is processing a natural reaction to having a kid rejected. It's normal to feel that way, but not normal to dwell on it. Acknowledge it, let it go, and focus on the kid.

That's the point. It is not normal for the adult to feel this way. The dad is acting like the child. His role is to teach his kid to be better not internalize all of his child's achievements as his own. If DC made the B team, own it and work on those skills. Get better. Don't be a terrible teammate and root for your A team to lose just because you still had work to do.

Dad needs to grow up. But such is the level of kids' sports these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be playing. Take the slot on the B team - development comes with more game minutes, not sitting on a bench.

Curious how common it is in this area to not make a high school team after being on travel growing up as a kid. I have young kids so that just seems unreal.

Crazy amount of talent in this area and number of travel teams from U16-U19 far exceeds number of high schools that have combined U16-U19 rosters. My kids play travel but I have no expectation they will be able to play for their HS.

Sure, but not all travel soccer is high level. ODSL and lower division NCSL players will struggle to standout in varsity soccer. But I’ve seen rec kids who are very good who didn’t have the money to pay for club make the team. I’ve coached a local high school for 7 years and we always ask the kids to wear a plain black shirt. We don’t find out who their club is or what league is until after. Interestingly enough we pick heavily from CCL and NPL. Perhaps because ECNL and former da kids were less

Think it's a great idea to have the kids wear black. Too many high schools pick the kids before tryouts happen.

I'm not sure what you were going on to say - as your post was curtailed. It almost reads as if you were going to say that you found you were picking CCL/NPL kids over ECNL/DA kids, except that this seems unlikely given that ECNL girls and DA kids of either sex were not permitted to play high school soccer. Still - if that is what you were planning to say - I wonder if that should cause you to wonder whether your own selection process was really identifying the most talented players. Because - while I am quite sure that there are plenty of CCL/NPL players who are better than some ECNL/DA players, I am equally sure that - on average - ECNL/DA players are better than CCL and NPL players - and that if you just picked a player at random from a DA team and another at random from a CCL or NPL team - more often than not the DA player would be better. And I would also suggest that there are very few high school teams in this area (maybe none) where any DA player should fail to make the roster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be playing. Take the slot on the B team - development comes with more game minutes, not sitting on a bench.

Curious how common it is in this area to not make a high school team after being on travel growing up as a kid. I have young kids so that just seems unreal.

Crazy amount of talent in this area and number of travel teams from U16-U19 far exceeds number of high schools that have combined U16-U19 rosters. My kids play travel but I have no expectation they will be able to play for their HS.

Sure, but not all travel soccer is high level. ODSL and lower division NCSL players will struggle to standout in varsity soccer. But I’ve seen rec kids who are very good who didn’t have the money to pay for club make the team. I’ve coached a local high school for 7 years and we always ask the kids to wear a plain black shirt. We don’t find out who their club is or what league is until after. Interestingly enough we pick heavily from CCL and NPL. Perhaps because ECNL and former da kids were less

There’s just less ECNL and da/ mls next kids than the other leagues. Numbers wise

Were less what? Talented? Represented at tryouts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be playing. Take the slot on the B team - development comes with more game minutes, not sitting on a bench.

Curious how common it is in this area to not make a high school team after being on travel growing up as a kid. I have young kids so that just seems unreal.

Crazy amount of talent in this area and number of travel teams from U16-U19 far exceeds number of high schools that have combined U16-U19 rosters. My kids play travel but I have no expectation they will be able to play for their HS.

Sure, but not all travel soccer is high level. ODSL and lower division NCSL players will struggle to standout in varsity soccer. But I’ve seen rec kids who are very good who didn’t have the money to pay for club make the team. I’ve coached a local high school for 7 years and we always ask the kids to wear a plain black shirt. We don’t find out who their club is or what league is until after. Interestingly enough we pick heavily from CCL and NPL. Perhaps because ECNL and former da kids were less

Sorry. I realized that later.

Think it's a great idea to have the kids wear black. Too many high schools pick the kids before tryouts happen.

I'm not sure what you were going on to say - as your post was curtailed. It almost reads as if you were going to say that you found you were picking CCL/NPL kids over ECNL/DA kids, except that this seems unlikely given that ECNL girls and DA kids of either sex were not permitted to play high school soccer. Still - if that is what you were planning to say - I wonder if that should cause you to wonder whether your own selection process was really identifying the most talented players. Because - while I am quite sure that there are plenty of CCL/NPL players who are better than some ECNL/DA players, I am equally sure that - on average - ECNL/DA players are better than CCL and NPL players - and that if you just picked a player at random from a DA team and another at random from a CCL or NPL team - more often than not the DA player would be better. And I would also suggest that there are very few high school teams in this area (maybe none) where any DA player should fail to make the roster.

Sorry I realized this later. I meant to say they were less likely to tryout and there are just fewer ECNL/ mls next players in general. I would have maybe 2-6 ECNL/ mls next kids in the program out of almost 40 kids ( JV and Varsity). The rest tended to be CCL and npl kids. We have a good mix of NCSL D1 kids and I see that the ODSL and rec kids who surprisingly make it tend to be minority kids. They are really good! But there parents don’t have the ability to pay for high level leagues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be playing. Take the slot on the B team - development comes with more game minutes, not sitting on a bench.

Curious how common it is in this area to not make a high school team after being on travel growing up as a kid. I have young kids so that just seems unreal.

Crazy amount of talent in this area and number of travel teams from U16-U19 far exceeds number of high schools that have combined U16-U19 rosters. My kids play travel but I have no expectation they will be able to play for their HS.

Sure, but not all travel soccer is high level. ODSL and lower division NCSL players will struggle to standout in varsity soccer. But I’ve seen rec kids who are very good who didn’t have the money to pay for club make the team. I’ve coached a local high school for 7 years and we always ask the kids to wear a plain black shirt. We don’t find out who their club is or what league is until after. Interestingly enough we pick heavily from CCL and NPL. Perhaps because ECNL and former da kids were less

Sorry. I realized that later.

Think it's a great idea to have the kids wear black. Too many high schools pick the kids before tryouts happen.

I'm not sure what you were going on to say - as your post was curtailed. It almost reads as if you were going to say that you found you were picking CCL/NPL kids over ECNL/DA kids, except that this seems unlikely given that ECNL girls and DA kids of either sex were not permitted to play high school soccer. Still - if that is what you were planning to say - I wonder if that should cause you to wonder whether your own selection process was really identifying the most talented players. Because - while I am quite sure that there are plenty of CCL/NPL players who are better than some ECNL/DA players, I am equally sure that - on average - ECNL/DA players are better than CCL and NPL players - and that if you just picked a player at random from a DA team and another at random from a CCL or NPL team - more often than not the DA player would be better. And I would also suggest that there are very few high school teams in this area (maybe none) where any DA player should fail to make the roster.

Sorry I realized this later. I meant to say they were less likely to tryout and there are just fewer ECNL/ mls next players in general. I would have maybe 2-6 ECNL/ mls next kids in the program out of almost 40 kids ( JV and Varsity). The rest tended to be CCL and npl kids. We have a good mix of NCSL D1 kids and I see that the ODSL and rec kids who surprisingly make it tend to be minority kids. They are really good! But there parents don’t have the ability to pay for high level leagues.

I want to add that just because ECNL/mls next kids aren’t supposed to play high school doesn’t mean they listen to that rule. It’s not good but it happens often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be playing. Take the slot on the B team - development comes with more game minutes, not sitting on a bench.

Curious how common it is in this area to not make a high school team after being on travel growing up as a kid. I have young kids so that just seems unreal.

Crazy amount of talent in this area and number of travel teams from U16-U19 far exceeds number of high schools that have combined U16-U19 rosters. My kids play travel but I have no expectation they will be able to play for their HS.

Sure, but not all travel soccer is high level. ODSL and lower division NCSL players will struggle to standout in varsity soccer. But I’ve seen rec kids who are very good who didn’t have the money to pay for club make the team. I’ve coached a local high school for 7 years and we always ask the kids to wear a plain black shirt. We don’t find out who their club is or what league is until after. Interestingly enough we pick heavily from CCL and NPL. Perhaps because ECNL and former da kids were less

Sorry. I realized that later.

Think it's a great idea to have the kids wear black. Too many high schools pick the kids before tryouts happen.

I'm not sure what you were going on to say - as your post was curtailed. It almost reads as if you were going to say that you found you were picking CCL/NPL kids over ECNL/DA kids, except that this seems unlikely given that ECNL girls and DA kids of either sex were not permitted to play high school soccer. Still - if that is what you were planning to say - I wonder if that should cause you to wonder whether your own selection process was really identifying the most talented players. Because - while I am quite sure that there are plenty of CCL/NPL players who are better than some ECNL/DA players, I am equally sure that - on average - ECNL/DA players are better than CCL and NPL players - and that if you just picked a player at random from a DA team and another at random from a CCL or NPL team - more often than not the DA player would be better. And I would also suggest that there are very few high school teams in this area (maybe none) where any DA player should fail to make the roster.

Sorry I realized this later. I meant to say they were less likely to tryout and there are just fewer ECNL/ mls next players in general. I would have maybe 2-6 ECNL/ mls next kids in the program out of almost 40 kids ( JV and Varsity). The rest tended to be CCL and npl kids. We have a good mix of NCSL D1 kids and I see that the ODSL and rec kids who surprisingly make it tend to be minority kids. They are really good! But there parents don’t have the ability to pay for high level leagues.

I want to add that just because ECNL/mls next kids aren’t supposed to play high school doesn’t mean they listen to that rule. It’s not good but it happens often.

I agree it happens, but "sometimes" might be a better description than "often". Even now my DS's ex-DA team is ECNL and he is permitted, and intends, to play high school soccer, he is not enjoying much success trying to convince other kids from his club who are at the same high school to play as well. Historically only a handful - certainly less than 25% - played.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be playing. Take the slot on the B team - development comes with more game minutes, not sitting on a bench.

Curious how common it is in this area to not make a high school team after being on travel growing up as a kid. I have young kids so that just seems unreal.

Crazy amount of talent in this area and number of travel teams from U16-U19 far exceeds number of high schools that have combined U16-U19 rosters. My kids play travel but I have no expectation they will be able to play for their HS.

Sure, but not all travel soccer is high level. ODSL and lower division NCSL players will struggle to standout in varsity soccer. But I’ve seen rec kids who are very good who didn’t have the money to pay for club make the team. I’ve coached a local high school for 7 years and we always ask the kids to wear a plain black shirt. We don’t find out who their club is or what league is until after. Interestingly enough we pick heavily from CCL and NPL. Perhaps because ECNL and former da kids were less

Sorry. I realized that later.

Think it's a great idea to have the kids wear black. Too many high schools pick the kids before tryouts happen.

I'm not sure what you were going on to say - as your post was curtailed. It almost reads as if you were going to say that you found you were picking CCL/NPL kids over ECNL/DA kids, except that this seems unlikely given that ECNL girls and DA kids of either sex were not permitted to play high school soccer. Still - if that is what you were planning to say - I wonder if that should cause you to wonder whether your own selection process was really identifying the most talented players. Because - while I am quite sure that there are plenty of CCL/NPL players who are better than some ECNL/DA players, I am equally sure that - on average - ECNL/DA players are better than CCL and NPL players - and that if you just picked a player at random from a DA team and another at random from a CCL or NPL team - more often than not the DA player would be better. And I would also suggest that there are very few high school teams in this area (maybe none) where any DA player should fail to make the roster.

Sorry I realized this later. I meant to say they were less likely to tryout and there are just fewer ECNL/ mls next players in general. I would have maybe 2-6 ECNL/ mls next kids in the program out of almost 40 kids ( JV and Varsity). The rest tended to be CCL and npl kids. We have a good mix of NCSL D1 kids and I see that the ODSL and rec kids who surprisingly make it tend to be minority kids. They are really good! But there parents don’t have the ability to pay for high level leagues.

I want to add that just because ECNL/mls next kids aren’t supposed to play high school doesn’t mean they listen to that rule. It’s not good but it happens often.

I agree it happens, but "sometimes" might be a better description than "often". Even now my DS's ex-DA team is ECNL and he is permitted, and intends, to play high school soccer, he is not enjoying much success trying to convince other kids from his club who are at the same high school to play as well. Historically only a handful - certainly less than 25% - played.

You're telling the actual hs coach of 7 years comparing to the poll from your kids team. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I can't help but root against the first team.

Mine was on the "B" team. Did not make her high school team. Other coaches from other high schools recruited her she didn't want to change schools. Fine by us. Stayed on her travel team. Walk on Divison 1 college. LOL

Since she did not make her HS team she decided to run Cross Country in HS went to States as a 9th grader, then every year after that. Placed every year. Loved running, still does to this day. Done with Grad school now. The best thing ever happened to her not making her HS team. LOL.

Great story! Soccer players make great runners

But how did she not make her high school team but walked on to D1? That doesn't say much for her high school's soccer coach or was it a powerhouse?

Because hs is super political and had nothing to do with skill