Parents with young kids - what does your house look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Living room and kitchen - these are the main family living space and we try to keep them neat. We do a 30-60 second straightening when moving to another space so it's not destroyed the next time we come back. Plates in dishwasher, devices on the charging station. We have a few toys in one living room cabinet (and previously a basket of toys hiding behind the couch) and one container of craft supplies in the kitchen, but otherwise these spaces look presentable.

The kids' bedrooms are often a mess, but we can close the doors. The 6yo can (roughly) make her bed. I make the 4 yo's bed, and he does the pillows. Lately, we've been asking them to "clean their rooms for 10 minutes" instead of "clean their rooms" and we have been met with MUCH less resistance and end up with actually clean rooms!

I have to make my bed during the week or else I freak out from the chaos of work and school and the whole house being a mess. I need my room to feel calm. Sometimes I leave the bed unmade and it comes back to bite me later.

The playroom, which we are lucky to have, is often an epic disaster. That's just how it has to be during covid. I cannot clean all the time. It's too much to beg the kids to clean it and I always have to help them. I just have to look away. It's probably clean once a month for an hour.

To keep my sanity, I often find a small part of the house to declutter on the weekends. It helps because 1) it gives me a tiny sense of control and 2) it decreases the number of landmines that might cause me to absolutely lose my shit if encountered mid-week.

This is brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living room and kitchen - these are the main family living space and we try to keep them neat. We do a 30-60 second straightening when moving to another space so it's not destroyed the next time we come back. Plates in dishwasher, devices on the charging station. We have a few toys in one living room cabinet (and previously a basket of toys hiding behind the couch) and one container of craft supplies in the kitchen, but otherwise these spaces look presentable.

The kids' bedrooms are often a mess, but we can close the doors. The 6yo can (roughly) make her bed. I make the 4 yo's bed, and he does the pillows. Lately, we've been asking them to "clean their rooms for 10 minutes" instead of "clean their rooms" and we have been met with MUCH less resistance and end up with actually clean rooms!

I have to make my bed during the week or else I freak out from the chaos of work and school and the whole house being a mess. I need my room to feel calm. Sometimes I leave the bed unmade and it comes back to bite me later.

The playroom, which we are lucky to have, is often an epic disaster. That's just how it has to be during covid. I cannot clean all the time. It's too much to beg the kids to clean it and I always have to help them. I just have to look away. It's probably clean once a month for an hour.

To keep my sanity, I often find a small part of the house to declutter on the weekends. It helps because 1) it gives me a tiny sense of control and 2) it decreases the number of landmines that might cause me to absolutely lose my shit if encountered mid-week.

This is brilliant.

PP with 3 and 8 yr olds. This approach backfires for me. My 8 year old starts daydreaming / gets distracted. It works better for me to give her a small area so it’s less overwhelming (ie pick up the magnatiles or the stuffed animals etc) or a certain number of things.

[Anonymous]

Our 800sqft apartment is a toy pit at this point. It looks like a horde of goblins tossed my daughters room and ran through the living room. I’m really looking forward to any in person school to have the privacy to toss some things. She’s a hoarder and asks about every item that I secretly donate, even years after the fact. When we were in a bigger space and leaving the house more it was much more manageable.

[Anonymous]

Our apartment is pretty tidy. About 1000 square feet, but only one kid. I'm not a naturally organized person but I work pretty hard at it. My DH is a pack rat by nature, but has seen the light on having less stuff (it helps me that he has also seen what a nightmare his parents' refusal to get rid of things has created in their home). My DD is... a 3 yr old, with all that entails. But with just one, it feels manageable and not overwhelming. We are all on something akin to a "one in, one out" policy on clothes and toys and kitchen gadgets. We do tend to collect books, but those are fairly easy to store (and even then, we try to do a lot of library books so they don't stay with us forever).

For me, the best thing is to have a cleaning/tidying schedule. We tidy up every evening before dinner and family time. Tidying up my DD's toys is part of her bedtime routine, which includes getting everything put away in her room and collecting things from around the house and putting them where they go in her room. But it applies to my husband and I, too -- we try not to leave reading material or projects lying around. It's really nice to have clean surfaces in each room, and I can't stand when places like the kitchen counter or the coffee table wind up with piles of random stuff. Mail gets sorted, opened, and recycled when it arrives. Work materials get put away at the end of a work session.

And I like having places for things to go. We have wall hooks and good shelving and deep closets. it makes cleaning so much easier because you don't have to find a place for everything as you clean -- it goes where it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine looks like a damn kid bomb went off - I am super organized and hate clutter so all the kids stuff is really on my nerves. I have 3 young kids and try snd purge, organize and clean up all the time but just the nature of covid and being home all the time - ughhh I am going insane! I keep seeing pictures of new beautiful homes and it makes me soooo jealous. Doesn’t help that I grew up in a very large house with a lot of land. Not feasible in DC. We have a 2600 sq ft house built in the 1960s with 5 of us in plus an 1/2 finished basement that houses most of the kids toys. I would love to move into a big 4000 sq ft new house but there is no way we can afford a $1+ million home.

Any suggestions or just want to commiserate? My tidy organized soul is dying.

In the 1960s, kids didn't have many toys, so there was plenty of space. Get rid of your stuff. Your kid doesn't need zillions of toys, crafting supplies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine looks like a damn kid bomb went off - I am super organized and hate clutter so all the kids stuff is really on my nerves. I have 3 young kids and try snd purge, organize and clean up all the time but just the nature of covid and being home all the time - ughhh I am going insane! I keep seeing pictures of new beautiful homes and it makes me soooo jealous. Doesn’t help that I grew up in a very large house with a lot of land. Not feasible in DC. We have a 2600 sq ft house built in the 1960s with 5 of us in plus an 1/2 finished basement that houses most of the kids toys. I would love to move into a big 4000 sq ft new house but there is no way we can afford a $1+ million home.

Any suggestions or just want to commiserate? My tidy organized soul is dying.

In the 1960s, kids didn't have many toys, so there was plenty of space. Get rid of your stuff. Your kid doesn't need zillions of toys, crafting supplies, etc.

OP here - I try and throw out stuff/donate once a month. I usually get rid of a garbage bag worth of stuff and donate a garbage bag worth of stuff once a month. But somehow we still have a ton of stuff. It doesn't help that we haven't been able to get rid of baby stuff yet - finally getting rid of it now thank god. We kept everything for the past 6 years since we weren't done having kids. I am now slowly getting rid of all baby gear since our youngest is 1. I literally got rid of 6 carseats worth of "infant" inserts and accoutrements the other day! Why did I save all of that stuff!?!?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have a good toy storage system? I use bins and baskets that are stored so that I can't see in or through them (i.e. in a shelf meant to fit a 12x12 box). While I would prefer that everything go in the correct box (books in red, legos in orange, cars in yellow, etc.), some days it's a screw it, just put it away anywhere kind of day. Then it can be sorted later. I find if things are at least out of sight and it can appear neat at the end of the day I feel better. And I'm very anal and Type A but I've learned to live with this after spending way too much time every night making everything perfect.

[Anonymous]

Parts of our house are calm and organized...the parts of the house that the puppy has access to. Seriously, before we got a puppy there were toys everywhere, but it only takes one or two chewed paw patrol figurines for the toys to start staying in their designated dog free zones. For us that is the kids bedroom, the large carpeted corner in the basement that is fenced off from the dog, and 1 room on the main floor. Things still get brought out to the kitchen table to be played with or for art/crafts, and we still set up the train and marble run toys in the foyer where there is a nice flat floor (they have to be put away when done), but it's overall less chaotic than it was before we got the new dog since the puppy forces everyone to pick up and keep stuff away from her. There are some dog toys and tennis balls on the floor though.

[Anonymous]

We are a family of four in 2300 sq feet and I do actually think size makes a difference. Kids are 3.5y and 2y old. We used to be in 1500sqft and it made a huge difference moving to this house because now we can actually fit toy cabinets and dedicated toy shelfs.

I have no doubt that 3500 sq foot would be even better as we could just put all the kids stuff away in a dedicated playroom which we don't have currently.

[Anonymous]

We moved in August from a 1500 sq ft townhouse to a 4000 sq ft single home. We now have a dedicated playroom and our kids no longer share a bedroom. Somehow, it is still a mess. The presumption was that once we had a playroom the kid stuff as well as the kids would stay in the playroom. Nope. Combined with the "by whatever means" vibe of working from home while schooling from home while doing everything else from home - disaster.

[Anonymous]

We have a 2400 square foot home in DC, and have several rooms that the kids never go in (my office, a guest room, husband's office+den) and they are absolutely glorious. Spare with lots of floorspace, healthy plants, some books, no clutter, zero toys. The boys don't go in these rooms.

Their bedroom + the family room + the dining room look insane almost all the time -- they are always making forts, toys are out, their drawings are hanging on the walls, LEGOs all over.

The "apartment for grownups" absolutely saved our sanity this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parts of our house are calm and organized...the parts of the house that the puppy has access to. Seriously, before we got a puppy there were toys everywhere, but it only takes one or two chewed paw patrol figurines for the toys to start staying in their designated dog free zones. For us that is the kids bedroom, the large carpeted corner in the basement that is fenced off from the dog, and 1 room on the main floor. Things still get brought out to the kitchen table to be played with or for art/crafts, and we still set up the train and marble run toys in the foyer where there is a nice flat floor (they have to be put away when done), but it's overall less chaotic than it was before we got the new dog since the puppy forces everyone to pick up and keep stuff away from her. There are some dog toys and tennis balls on the floor though.

This was a turning point for us too!

[Anonymous]

My house is much different than is used to be pre kid. I had zero tolerance for anything out of place or any clutter. While my standards have dropped a lot, they still are pretty high I think compared to some. My kids have way too much stuff because they have very indulgent grandparents who don’t listen when we say limited gifts so it adds up. We purge all the time. The basement is a bit scary but organized in in bins etc. There are toys in their rooms ans in some hidden places in the living room and family room. We have a one toy at a time rule. Do they always listen! Heck no but we try to instill that in them. We also do a lot of “5 minute” challengers to clean up if things get out of hand and we always clean up. By the time it is bedtime the house is back to being all put away. I have 3 and 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

it helps if you have more than one room on the ground floor. we just moved from a townhouse where there was an eat-in kitchen and just one other smallish room. That was living room and playroom and it was always a total mess. there was also nowhere to put any of the toys away, the room was just too small to have much storage.

If you can get enough storage, a couple tips on top of what others suggested--
(1) no barriers to clean up--make sure bins are open on top so kids can just throw things in.
(2) when our kids were really little we put pictures on the outside so they knew what went where, even if they couldn't read. otherwise they would throw everything in the same bin and pieces to toys got lost and it was really chaotic.
(3) I think I've posted this one before, it's my favorite--if you can afford a robo vac, use it! And tell kids they have 5 mins to clean everything up off the floor otherwise the vacuum will come and might start sucking up their toys. that gets them going.

[Anonymous]

We only have 1500 SF plus basement. For me, the key is that the living room stays clean. That's the first room I see when I walk into the house. It's my beacon of calm. No toys allowed. Toys can be anywhere else. I also get cranky if the guest room gets messy. My daughter is currently using that as her office for virtual school and I make her tidy it up every day when school is over.

Honestly, if the kid stuff lives in the basement, as you say, you have won. If you want a really clean house, don't have 3 kids! Your house will be ckean when they move out.